Two For The Road
by Freelancer21
Summary: When Oceanic's flight 815 crashed, what if Kate and Sawyer didn't fall on the beach with the other castaways? How would their relationship have evolved if it had only been the two of them?
1. Chapter 1

This chapter has been beta-ed by **so original**, to whom I'm extremely grateful. Thank you so much!

_#Disclaimer# _

I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Lost". They were created by JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof and they belong to them, Touchstone, and ABC.

Thanks for reading!

**Chapter 1**

The need for air was probably what caused him to regain consciousness.

He opened his eyes; his brain quickly registered that he was underwater, and his arms and legs started to move. He felt like he'd never reach the surface. When he did, his lungs about to explode, he took a few avid breaths. In a flash, he realised he had just fallen from a crashing plane. But he didn't have much time to reflect on that, as he noticed bubbles on the surface of the water, only a few feet away from him.

Something, or someone, was sinking.

Without even thinking, Sawyer went back underwater. The water was a little muddy and it wasn't easy to see. But it wasn't long before he found something: airplane seats, on which a man and a woman were still sitting. They were both unconscious and Sawyer wondered if they were dead. Moving closer, he noticed a piece of shrapnel sticking out of the man's chest. No air bubbles were coming out of his mouth, as it was in the woman's case. Best to concentrate on her, then, Sawyer figured.

Quickly, he undid her seatbelt and pulled her up. Upon reaching the surface, he swam to the shore, making sure her head was above water. When his feet touched earth again, he picked her up and carried her out. He then put her down on a big, flat rock. For a second, he didn't know what do to next. The woman, in her late twenties, wasn't moving. Should he give her mouth to mouth? Before he could decide on a course of action, she finally coughed and opened her eyes.

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Kate was staring at a soaking wet, blond man. For a moment, she felt completely lost and she panicked. Who was he? Where was she? Frantic, she sat up. She was surprised to discover she was sitting in front of a waterfall in what seemed to be a tropical jungle.

The plane. It had been falling. How could she still be alive? She tried to speak, but before she could she started coughing again.

"Where is he?" she finally asked, her voice raspy.

For a second the man didn't move or speak. But then he briefly gazed at the water behind him before looking at her again. He didn't have to say more: Kate jumped to her feet, in a sudden adrenaline boost, and rushed over to the lake. But the stranger got up, too.

"There's nothing you can do for him," he declared with a Southern accent, grabbing her arm to stop her.

Even though his features were hard and cold as he spoke, she could discern some worry in his blue eyes. But she wasn't going to let him stop her.

"Let go of me! I can't leave him there!" she shouted, freeing herself and entering the water.

She had to do something to save him. She wasn't going to be responsible for another man's death.

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Surprised by her determination, Sawyer briefly stood there, watching her. Should he let her find out for herself what had happened to her companion? Whoever that man was to her, it wasn't a good idea for her to see him, considering the state he was in. She was bound to have a serious breakdown at the sight of him. But would he care if she did? Not really. And why should he give a damn anyway? He was a murderer, a loathsome person. Saving the day wasn't something you expected from the kind of man he was, he told himself.

"Damn women," Sawyer muttered before sighing deeply and reluctantly following her into the water.

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Under the water, Kate was trying to find the marshal, but it was hard to see and she had no idea where to look. Coming up to the surface to breathe, she saw the blond dive in, and she followed him back under. Soon, they found what they were looking for, and in a flash she realised why he had tried to stop her.

Kate briefly shut her eyes before moving closer to the marshal. The man who had saved her was watching her, waiting to see what she was going to do. Not wanting to show any sign of weakness, she quickly undid the marshal's belt. She reached to grab him, wanting to pull him up, but the stranger was quicker than she was.

Just as she was about to follow the men to the surface, something caught her eye: a silver case lying at the bottom of the lake. The Halliburton! She couldn't believe her luck. That case contained the most precious thing she had. Running out of air, Kate quickly grabbed hold of it, and headed towards the surface.

When she emerged, the Southerner had laid down the marshal on the same rock she had been on just a minute ago. She stood by, frozen, until the man's gaze met hers and he spoke.

"There's no pulse. Nothing we can do," he said coldly.

"That's impossible," she countered disbelievingly, grabbing the marshal's wrist to check for herself.

But he really was dead, she realised.

Gently, she let go of his hand. She knew her companion was staring at her curiously, but she didn't care. Edward Mars, the man who had been chasing her for the last four years, was dead. Maybe she should be glad, but she wasn't. The guy had only been doing his job. And now, because of her, he had died. One more person to add to the list of people she had killed.

Overwhelmed, Kate started shaking. She sat down, the details of her ordeal finally sinking in. The terrifying minutes during which the plane had gone down, her frantic race to unlock her handcuffs, the smoke, the fear...

She forced herself to take a deep breath. Against all odds, she was alive. She owed her life to the man in front of her, there was no doubt about it. In an effort to focus on something other than shock and guilt, Kate looked at the blond man.

"Thank you," she told him, "for saving me. And for helping me get him," she added.

His blue eyes briefly met hers.

"Yeah," he replied, seemingly uncomfortable. "What's this?" he asked after a few seconds, pointing at the silver case with his chin.

Kate tensed.

"It's mine," she replied curtly.

The stranger shot her a penetrating look, but didn't say anything. He just wondered:

"Who was he?"

Kate had to swallow the lump in her throat to reply:

"I don't know. He was just sitting next to me," she lied.

The man seemed surprised and Kate understood why. She had gone nuts trying to save him. Could someone get so upset over a person she hadn't known two hours earlier?

But, to her relief, he didn't ask more and started looking around.

"Where the hell are we? Where's the plane?" he wondered aloud.

There was no sign of a crash around them, nor was there black smoke clouding the sky. Could the plane have fallen into the ocean? After all, they had been flying over the Pacific at the time of the crash. She and the blond man were probably extremely lucky to have fallen to the ground.

"I don't know," Kate answered evenly. Her mind was already kicking into gear: that plane crash was her chance to escape the authorities once again. All she needed to do was to avoid the rescue team that would arrive shortly and find a way to disappear again. Fast.

She needed a plan. It didn't take her long to hatch one, since all she had been doing for the last four years of her life was figure out ways to avoid being caught.

First of all, she needed the key to the Halliburton. She was about to reach for the marshal's wallet when her fellow castaway apparently had the same idea.

"What are you doing?" she asked, her heart suddenly beating faster. She kneeled next to the lifeless body.

"Well, Cupcake, maybe he has a cell phone," the stranger drawled with a mocking smile. "We could call 911 and... oh-oh, look what I found!"

He was staring at Mars' clip-on badge.

"He was a U.S. Marshal... Interesting," he said as he took it, eying Kate suspiciously. "You said you were sitting next to him?"

Kate's heart skipped a beat, but she was used to keeping her cool. Her voice was calm and assured when she said:

"Yeah, but it doesn't mean anything. I'm not a criminal."

"Then why was he on the plane, Pumpkin?"

"I don't know. Maybe he was coming back without the prisoner he had gone to get. Maybe he had been able to escape or something," she offered.

"Maybe," the man replied, obviously not convinced.

"Think whatever you want," she countered. "We don't have time to waste. We've got to find that plane if we want to be rescued."

Their eyes were locked in a silent duel. Kate remained strong; she had no time to waste with him. At one point or another the authorities would show him a picture of her and he'd find out she really was a criminal. But for now, she had to set her plan in motion.

She grabbed the marshal's wallet from his jacket and put it in her pants' back pocket. None of this escaped the Southerner's attention.

"Why are you taking his wallet, Sweet cheeks?"

"When rescue comes," she replied, "we'll tell them who he was in case they don't find him."

The blond seemed to ponder her answer for a moment, but then his eyes fell on the marshal's ankle holster and he reached for it. He was obviously disappointed when he found it empty.

"The gun must have fallen into the water," he mumbled to himself.

Kate got up.

"We can't stay here, they'll never find us. We need to find the plane," she declared.

Of course she had no intention of ever getting there. But they had to start moving if she wanted the chance of losing this annoying man and make a run towards freedom.

"And how are we going to find it, Honey pie?" he wondered, sarcasm lacing his voice as he got up, too.

Kate gazed at the sky.

"Based on the sun's position and the direction we were flying, I can tell you the plane is probably... that way."

He nodded.

"Then what are we waiting for, Freckles?" 


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"You don't know where you're going, do you?" Kate asked after barely ten minutes of walking. Lost in her thoughts, she hadn't been paying much attention to where he was leading her until now. Good thing she had some skills in the matter, because it was quite obvious he had none.

Upon hearing her words, he stopped dead and she almost ran into him.

"Well, Freckles, the jungle is pretty dense and it's a little hard to see the damn sun at times," he replied, clearly annoyed as he turned around. Without her really knowing why, his attitude made Kate smile. "What, you think you could do better?" he challenged her, his voice low and a bit menacing.

"Of course I can," she declared evenly before moving ahead of him.

Sawyer mumbled something from behind her, but Kate didn't slow down her pace. She wanted to set him in the right direction before she abandoned him.

"All we have to do is make sure the sun stays on our left. As it goes down, we have to steer a little to the right to stay in the right direction," she explained. He may have a little trouble orienting himself, but he was a big guy. The plane couldn't be that far. He would manage on his own, right?

"Were you a Girl Scout or something, Puddin'?" he wondered.

Kate sighed, annoyed, and turned to face him.

"Stop giving me all those stupid nicknames," she warned him, prompting him to flash her a dimpled smile. It suddenly struck her how good looking he was. She hadn't had much time to really look at him and now that she did, she had to say he was one of the finest looking men she had ever laid eyes on.

"Well, that's because I still don't know your name, Princess," he replied with a disarming smile.

Kate took a second to wonder whether or not she should give him her real name. It had been so long since she had said anything true to anyone! She had lost the habit of doing so. But in this particular situation, she saw no reason to keep lying. There wasn't much point. Later today, the authorities would tell him all about her.

Maybe it would feel good to be honest for once.

"I'm Kate. You?"

He only hesitated a second, but that lapse of time was very revealing to Kate. Did he have something to hide, too?

"Sawyer," he finally let out. After a beat, he added with a mischievous smile: "So, where did you learn all that orientation stuff, _Freckles_?"

Kate rolled her eyes upon hearing the nickname again, but nonetheless answered his question.

"My dad was in the army. Ranger Battalion. We were stationed in Fort Lewis, Washington State. We'd go hiking together. One day we spent 8 hours tracking deer. Being in the woods, it was like... it was like his religion."

Not waiting for Sawyer to comment, Kate turned around and resumed her walking. Talking about her father was upsetting her. She hadn't seen or talked to him in four years, and she really missed him. The worst thing was that she would probably never see him again, unless she got caught and he visited her in prison. The last thing she wanted was to cause him that much shame, and the only way to avoid it was to make sure the rescue team didn't find her.

"Sawyer, I have to go," she announced all of a sudden, stopping dead.

He stared at her in total bewilderment. "Go where??"

"I... I need to... you know, I need a few minutes alone," she said, looking at him intently. He finally understood what she meant.

"Oh, right."

"Go ahead, I'll catch up with you," she said as she headed into the bushes, her Halliburton firmly in hand.

"Want me to hold onto that for you?" he asked, casting an inquisitive look at the case she was holding.

"Nah, it's okay," she replied as if it was no big deal. "I'll see you in a few minutes, Sawyer."

And she disappeared from his view.

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Kate vanished into the bushes, but Sawyer didn't move. Instead, he searched his pockets for a cigarette. Might as well get a bit of rest, he figured, because something was telling him that this little trek into the jungle was going to be hard on him. He wasn't big on exercising, only working out enough to keep his upper body looking good. After all, seducing women was his job and he had to maintain his assets.

Finding his pack of cigarettes, he opened it and saw that there was only one left. It had been in the water and Sawyer swore loudly. No way would he be able to light it. Irritated, he put the pack back in his pocket. As he did, he realised there was something else inside it. A letter he had written back when he was a kid. A letter written to the man who'd caused his parents' death.

Glancing at the bushes to make sure Kate wasn't coming back already, he carefully unfolded the damp letter and began to read the words he knew by heart. As he did, his jaw clenched and the sense of self-hatred that had been missing since the plane crash returned in full force.

He should have died. He should have been hit by a piece of wreckage. He should have let himself drown. He should have gone back into the water, found the marshal's gun and ended it, then and there. Because this life, this miserable life he was leading, had gone too far. He had conned many, many people. He had deceived the very few people who had cared about him. He had killed an innocent man. It was enough.

At that point, he didn't even care anymore about getting revenge on the man he had written the letter to. All he wanted was for it to be over.

Why even bother with finding the fuselage? He could never really be rescued anyway. And Kate was perfectly capable of getting there herself. She didn't need him. Who ever had?

With infinite care, he placed the letter back in his jeans. What should he do now? Try to find a cliff he could jump off? Should he wait for Kate and tell her she'd have to continue without him?

And where was she? She should have been back already. Sawyer frowned. Could something have happened to her? That was unlikely. His instincts were telling him that she was hiding something. He had a hard time believing she didn't know the marshal. A strong-minded girl like her wouldn't have reacted like that over someone she didn't know.

Her silver case was the key to everything, he was convinced of that.

If there had always been something Sawyer had a hard time resisting, besides women, it was his curiosity. And Kate was certainly intriguing.

Determined to find out more about her, Sawyer entered the bushes where she had disappeared several minutes ago. Which way had she gone? Trying to remember old episodes of 'Daniel Boone', he looked around for footprints, broken twigs and crushed plants. He quickly grew unnerved as he couldn't find anything of the sorts.

"Kate!" he called. But nobody answered. "Damn," he mumbled to himself. What should he do?

He took a few more arbitrary steps. He looked around, his gaze wandering aimlessly, until something on the ground caught his eye: a fresh footprint, right in front of him.

Sawyer grinned. It was a start.

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At first, Kate walked away casually, just in case he tried to follow her. But soon, she started running, not caring about the tracks she was leaving. Sawyer would never be able to follow them, even if he tried, and that's something she highly doubted he'd do. Even though he'd saved her from drowning, she saw him as the type of guy who'd embrace the 'every man for himself' philosophy.

Reflecting on the brief time she had spent in his company, Kate wondered if he'd be surprised to learn she was a criminal. Probably not, judging from the doubtful looks he had sent her way when she had denied knowing Mars. Her Halliburton case also seemed to arouse his suspicions.

But she had her own questions about him. Why had he hesitated before telling her his name? Could he have been lying about it? She didn't know and for some reason it saddened her that she never would.

Pushing those thoughts aside, Kate ran for several minutes, not knowing where she was going to end up. Maybe she'd come across a town or a village? Maybe she'd be able to sneak on board a boat or a plane? From there, she didn't know where she'd go. And, to her, that was the beauty of being a fugitive: you never knew where or who you'd be the next day. That suited her perfectly.

Running through the jungle felt good to Kate. It had been a while since she'd felt this free. She loved the physical exhaustion it brought her. She loved the way running cleared her mind. And, in the present case, the way it kept her from thinking about the marshal's death and the events that had led to it.

She'd just started telling herself she could slow down when she smelled fire.

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Following the track wasn't easy at all, but it was as though someone was watching over him. Every time he thought he had lost Kate for good, every time he thought he had no choice but to head back, he found a sign she had been there before him.

After a while, Sawyer noticed that the sky was turning darker. He barely had time to think he was about to get drenched before the rain started to pour. Sawyer sighed, defeated. It was no use to try to find somewhere to hide. Between his fall into the lake and this torrential rain, his clothes hadn't even had time to dry.

He briefly wondered if the rain was going to erase all traces of Kate's passage, and felt discouragement wash over him at the thought. Why in the world did he have to go after her? 

What should he do now, he wondered, as he kept walking, following no particular path? Luckily for him, the question answered itself as he wandered into a clearing and saw something that stopped him dead in his tracks.

Right in front of him was the plane, its Oceanic logo easily recognisable.

What was it doing here? Kate had seemed so sure it was... Sawyer's features hardened as he realised what had been going on. Could Kate have deliberately tried to lose him? Why would she do such thing? Dozens of questions sprang into his mind, but he gave up trying to answer them when he noticed that he was only looking at the cockpit. The rest of the plane was nowhere in sight.

Walking closer, Sawyer saw Kate's Halliburton case on the ground, right next to the spot where one could enter the wrecked plane. He looked around, but didn't see Kate. She was probably inside.

There was one thing he wanted to do before he followed her. He grabbed the case and tried to open it. It was locked, of course. Disappointed, he put it back down on the muddy ground and entered the plane. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 

Seeing the front of the plane like that, a massive metallic bird torn apart, made Kate feel uneasy. It reminded her all too clearly of the horrifying seconds before she blacked-out and ended up in the water. Sitting in her seat, she'd noticed, terrified, that the plane had broken in three. First the tail had broken off, then the front. She'd been sitting in the middle part, and she hadn't been lying when she'd told Sawyer where the fuselage should be. The two other parts could have fallen into the ocean for all she knew. Truth was she hadn't expected to find the cockpit so close to the spot where they had fallen from the sky.

The jungle was silent around the plane and for a moment Kate stood there, unmoving. There was no one outside, and to Kate that could only mean that all the passengers in there were too badly injured to leave the plane, if any had survived at all. Maybe some had been well enough to get out and were now wandering around like she was? She swallowed the lump in her throat, feeling the same way she'd have felt in a cemetery. Filled with sadness and respect for those who had died.

Even though Kate knew she had little chance of finding anyone to help, she couldn't just leave. She had to check, she had to be sure, even though it was going to delay her escape. She walked over to the dark, gaping hole at the end of the cockpit, the jagged edges of metal a scar that would forever be a sign of the trauma inflicted on it. She stared into the endless darkness. That was where she was going to enter. Before she did, she put her Halliburton down and cast a look around again. Not a soul in sight.

Gathering all her courage, Kate went inside. The darkness was smothering, and she couldn't hear a thing. The plane was steeply inclined, making the climb difficult.

"Does anyone need help??" she yelled, but she got no answer.

Slowly, trying to detach herself from this ghastly task, she went from person to person, checking their vitals. Although the bodies were still warm, she had found no sign of life by the time she finally reached the cockpit door. There, she took a moment to breathe deeply, trying to keep the tears at bay. She had seen way too many dead people these last few years, and today was just too hard. Once again, she wondered why she had survived and they hadn't. They were far more deserving of life than she was, she had no doubt.

It suddenly started to rain and it became ever darker inside the cabin, reminding her of some horror movie. All she wanted right now was to get out. She had been there far too long for her taste, but there was still the cockpit itself to check. Reluctantly, she tried the door, but it was either stuck or locked.

"Well, well, look who's here!" a voice suddenly said, nearly making Kate jump out her skin.

What was Sawyer doing here? she asked herself, frozen, waiting for her heartbeat to slow down a little. How had he found her?

"What, didn't expect to see me again, Sweet pea?" he added as he began climbing towards her. That's exactly what she'd thought, but she certainly wasn't going to tell him. So she stayed silent and checked the last man's pulse, secretly glad she wasn't alone anymore, even though she'd have to figure out a way to get rid of him later.

Finding the man unresponsive, Kate looked up to see Sawyer glancing around and she noticed, for a fleeting instant, how affected he was to see death so close. But the next second the mask of indifference returned to his face and he climbed on an empty seat to open the overhead compartment.

"What are you doing?" she asked as she saw him extract a backpack and rummage through it.

"Just trying to find a dry shirt, cupcake," he replied without looking at her.

Kate was about to go at him for stealing dead people's stuff, but she stopped herself. Thing was, since she was going to run away blindly in the jungle, she should try to get a few things for herself, like water or a blanket.

"Girl stuff," she heard him mutter to himself before he threw her the backpack. She caught it and put it on her back. "No need to thank me, Freckles," he added, waiting.

"I'm going to check the cockpit," was her only response. Maybe, against all odds, someone was still alive in there.

Looking around, she saw a fire extinguisher and managed to get a hold of it. She banged on the lock and the door finally flew open, causing a body to come flying out. Kate gasped in shock. Still going through the luggage, Sawyer was able to avoid the flying body and they exchanged a meaningful look before she climbed inside the tiny room.

Inside, the pilot was still sitting on his seat, unmoving. Kate sighed. To touch another dead person was just above her strength right now. Suddenly, the pilot took a breath and Kate let out a surprised scream.

"Are you okay?" she managed to say as she went to him, heart pounding.

"Yeah," he replied weakly as Sawyer showed up inside the cabin, obviously worried. He relaxed when he realised what had happened and finished buttoning the shirt he had found.

"Does anything feel broken?" Kate asked, tearing her eyes off Sawyer's abs.

"No. My head's a little dizzy, that's all," he answered feebly. "How many survived?"

"Two, so far," she told him, trying not to let her pessimism show.

"How long has it been?"

"About an hour," she informed him. It felt like ages ago already.

"Has anybody come?"

"Not yet."

With effort, the pilot explained:

"You should know that… 6 hours in… Our radio went out, no one could see us. We turned back to land in Fiji, by the time we hit turbulence we were 1000 miles off course. They're… they're looking for us in the wrong place."

Kate and Sawyer exchanged a stunned look.

"What?" Kate finally let out.

"The strangest thing is that... this island where we are... it wasn't on our maps," the pilot added.

"How is that possible?" Sawyer wondered, incredulous.

"You mean that… that they won't find us?" Kate added.

"We have a transceiver. If I could use it…"

The pilot moved to go get it, but Kate stopped him.

"Let me help you," she said.

"Transceiver's right there. It's right there," the pilot told her, pointing to where it was behind his seat.

Since he was closer, Sawyer got it and handed it to the pilot, who started to fiddle with it.

"It's not working," he announced gravely before he started to cough.

"Sawyer, go and see if you could find some water," Kate told him.

She saw him hesitate a little, but at last he complied without arguing.

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Trying to progress carefully, Sawyer began searching the cabin for water or food. As he did, many things were going through his mind. Okay, so the rescue team wasn't going to find them unless they found a way to fix the transceiver. That didn't really concern him, he figured, since he hadn't planned on ever going back… back to what? He had nothing and no one to return to. No one needed him in this world, not even Kate, he realised dejectedly. Now that she had the pilot as a companion, there was no doubt she wasn't going to miss him when he disappeared for good, he thought as he opened a cabinet.

"Bingo" he murmured to himself, having found what he was looking for.

Grabbing three water bottles, he put two inside his backpack, keeping the other one in his hand as he proceeded to climb back to the cockpit.

"We'll get out of here as soon as the rain stops," he heard Kate tell the pilot. "We need to find out if there are other survivors."

So now she really was planning on finding the plane? Sawyer smiled sarcastically. The girl was hiding something and he was going to find out what.

At that moment, the plane started shaking. A deafening sound, clicking and metallic, filled the air, blocking out all other noises. Then it stopped, as suddenly as it had started. Complete silence followed.

"What the hell…" Sawyer began, before stopping still when he saw a shadow pass the window. Quietly pulling himself on a seat, Sawyer tried to look out the window, to see what had cast the ominous shadow. Nothing. Resuming his climb towards the cockpit, he could see the pilot get up and climb part way out of the opening above to try to see what was going on. Suddenly, he disappeared out the broken window as the roaring started again, snatched by an unseen enemy, and Kate screamed as a torrent of blood splashed over the window.

"Kate!!!" he yelled, terrified at the idea that the same thing could happen to her.

"Sawyer!" she cried in response.

Just then, the plane started shaking again, and a second later the plane finally finished its fall from the sky, crashing heavily to the ground. Sawyer's head was brutally bashed against a seat as the plane fell, but nevertheless he was finally able to get back to the cockpit. He saw Kate hiding behind the pilot's seat, and was relieved to see she was alright.

"Come on, let's get out of here!" he yelled, grabbing Kate's arm and pulling her up. Before leaving, he had the presence of mind to grab the transceiver, which the pilot had put down in the co-pilot's seat.

Hurriedly, they exited the plane, Sawyer not letting go of Kate's hand. Outside, it was still raining and it only made the scene even more terrifying. Looking around, Sawyer couldn't see a monster or whatever it was, nor anything else, and decided they could take the chance of running into the depths of the jungle. But suddenly, Kate let go of his hand.

"What are you doing?" Sawyer yelled so she'd hear him despite the rain. He slowed down, but as he did he realised she had just picked her Halliburton up in one swift motion.

"I'm okay! Run!" she replied, passing before him.

Seriously irritated with her, Sawyer followed her. Behind them, he could hear the same frightening sounds they had heard earlier and he increased his pace. Running in the mud wasn't easy, and all of a sudden Sawyer fell, his leg trapped in some vines. Oblivious to his fall, Kate kept on running.

Lying there, Sawyer watched her disappear. He didn't want to call out for her. There was no point in having her risk her life for someone who intended on killing himself, was there? For a brief moment, he even thought of not trying to escape at all. The monster, or whatever it was, could have him. That way, Kate would be safe and he'd get what he wanted. What he deserved.

But then he realised that, now that the pilot was dead, she'd be all alone and he didn't want that either. He had to keep himself alive until they could find other survivors. The terrifying sounds approaching, he finally freed his foot, got up and ran in the same direction she had.

"Sawyer!!" he heard after long seconds, telling him where Kate was. She had found refuge amidst a circle of close growing trees, the long hanging branches completely hiding her from view and Sawyer was relieved to see she was fine. When he came up behind her he startled her, and she turned and knocked him to the ground.

"It's not really the perfect time for that kind of thing, Pumpkin," he drawled, a smile playing on his lips.

"Sorry," she replied with a weak grin, getting off him. They got up.

"Did you see it?" she asked, unable to totally mask her fear. Sawyer had only known her for an hour or so, but one thing he knew about her was that she didn't scare easily.

"No," he replied, now serious. "What the hell was it?"

"I don't know", she said, sombre. "All I know is that we're alone… and no one is coming for us."

They let the realisation sink in for a moment. Sawyer, never one to show his true feelings, grinned nonchalantly, but his eyes were serious when he said:

"Ever seen 'The Blue Lagoon', Freckles?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"So, what do we do now?" Sawyer finally asked Kate.

They were still hiding amidst the trees, their breath slowly returning to normal. They hadn't heard the monster, or whatever it was, for several long minutes and they were beginning to relax again. The rain had stopped at last, but the sky remained dark.

"It's getting dark," she replied, her voice assured again. "We better make camp here. We'll be safe in case…"

She didn't finish her sentence, but Sawyer got her perfectly. Just like her, he had no desire to talk about these latest frightening events. But there certainly were other things he wanted to discuss with her…

Before starting up about that again, though, Sawyer took off his wet shirt and hung it over a branch in the futile hope it would dry overnight. It was getting kind of cold and he figured it'd be worse to keep it on. The thought of sleeping in the rest of his wet clothes wasn't appealing at all, but he had nothing to change into and figured with amusement that sleeping in the buff next to Kate wouldn't be appropriate. Trying to keep himself from shivering, he was thinking nostalgically about a cup of cocoa when he remembered that he'd stashed two blankets from the plane into his pack. He took them out and turned to Kate, who was sitting by his side, lost in her thoughts.

"Want one?" he asked, showing her the blanket.

Nodding, she reached out to take it, but Sawyer pulled it out of her reach before she could.

"Not so fast, Freckles!" he exclaimed with a smug grin. "I want to know, what in that case is so important that you're willing to risk your life for it?" he demanded, gesturing to the Halliburton with his chin.

Kate took a deep breath before replying tiredly:

"It's personal, okay?"

Her eyes were pleading with his, but Sawyer was determined to play his advantage to the fullest.

"Wrong answer," he replied. "I'll give you another chance."

"It's none of your business, Sawyer," she snapped, annoyed.

"It's my business if you risk my own life in the process, Sugar," he countered with fake politeness.

Kate looked at him icily in response.

"I guess it's every man for himself, then," she stated in an effort to end the conversation.

But her determination at not satisfying his curiosity was beginning to irritate the hell out of Sawyer.

"If you wanted to be alone, all you had to do is say so instead of pretending you had to pee, Sweetheart. That way I'd have avoided almost being eaten by Godzilla," he replied with growing anger.

For a second, Kate only glared at him.

"Keep your damn blanket," she then responded, turning her back to him as she tried to find a comfortable position to sleep. But Sawyer had more to say.

"You were running away from the rescue team, weren't you?"

Kate froze before looking at him again.

"You've got questions about me? Well, I've got some about you, too," she exploded. "Why did you lie to me about your name?"

Their eyes locked in an unspoken confrontation. After a couple of seconds, Sawyer snorted. He sure wasn't about to answer her question. Knowing full well she had nailed him, he smiled and handed her the blanket.

She hesitated before taking it, but she finally did and covered herself up. They both settled down as comfortably as they could. Due to the lack of space, they were shoulder to shoulder at it provided them with welcome, extra warmth.

"Goodnight," Kate told Sawyer more nicely than he'd have expected.

"Goodnight, Freckles," he replied.

Silence fell around them, the only sound he could hear being her breathing. For the first time since the crash, Sawyer actually had a chance to look back on everything that had happened lately. The monster… the crash… the bar fight… the murder.

His jaw clenched at the memory. A week ago, he had killed a man.

He hadn't slept much since then. It was only when he was completely drunk that he was able to get any sleep, however uneasy. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was the stunned look on Frank Duckett's face as he fell down by the trash can.

The moment he had realised his mistake, his whole world had collapsed. All his life, he had strived towards that moment. After a last minute hesitation, he had done what he'd thought was a good thing: he had avenged his parents' deaths and erased a despicable man from the face of the Earth. But, on the contrary, he'd killed an innocent man. He'd been played. And now, there was no possible redemption for him.

Plagued with these thoughts, Sawyer just couldn't find sleep. Hours passed slowly as his self-hatred increased. Tomorrow, he and Kate would find other survivors. There just had to be some. And then… he knew what he'd have to do, he told himself with determination.

Suddenly, the silence was broken by muffled sobs. Kate was crying.

Sawyer stopped breathing, taken aback by Kate's vulnerability. She had seemed so strong today, to see her armour break was unsettling. He didn't know what to do. How could he ever comfort her? She didn't even like him. Plus, she probably believed he was asleep and he had no doubt she'd prefer if her moment of weakness remained private.

So, he waited silently until Kate's sobs finally subsided and she fell asleep. Sawyer turned his head to look at her in the dim light the moon provided. He could see a tear drying on her cheek and he had to fight the urge to wipe it with his thumb. What was wrong with him, he wondered?

Annoyed with himself, he turned his head and shut his eyes. This time, sleep came, transferring him effortlessly back into his tortured, tormented world where he could never find peace.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When Kate woke up the next morning, she felt much better than she had just a few hours prior. In the dark of the night, she'd had a brief moment of self-loathing as she thought about the marshal's death. She thought it would have been better if she'd just died. Unless, she was being forced to live so she could make up for her mistakes. The idea that she might still be able to make some amends had comforted her somehow and she had finally fallen asleep. Thank goodness, Sawyer had been sleeping when she'd cried, and he wouldn't bug her with it today.

Her stomach growled and, glancing at a sleeping Sawyer, she decided to go and get some fruit. Careful not to wake up her companion, she got up and, silently defying the slumbering man, she folded the blanket he'd eventually given her and stuffed it inside her own backpack.

Leaving Sawyer behind, she had a brief thought for the silver case she'd left next to him. It didn't really matter, she figured, because there was no way he'd be able to open it without the key that was still inside Mars' wallet, which was tucked safely away in her back pocket.

Looking for a decent breakfast, Kate walked away. Since no rescue was coming, she was feeling free for the first time in years and it felt really strange. In fact, she wasn't sure she liked the feeling all that much, as running kept her focused on something other than the crime she had committed.

Right now, she felt the need to keep busy, to concentrate on helping other possible survivors, or she'd go crazy. Too much time to think was never a good thing. All she knew is that being stranded on that island was her chance to redeem herself. No one here knew she was a fugitive and that would give her the chance to start with a clean slate. Well, that was if that nosy blond stopped bugging her trying to learn more about her Halliburton case.

Kate found a banana tree not very far away and in no time she had climbed up, going down a few minutes later with enough fruit to satisfy both her and Sawyer's hunger.

When she got back to the campsite, Sawyer was still sleeping and Kate took a moment to eye him at ease. He was handsome, yes. But what else did she know about him? Only the name he'd given her, which she was pretty sure was false. Why lie about your name, if you weren't a fugitive, she wondered?

The idea that Sawyer could be in the same situation she was was unsettling. In a way, she had always taken a certain satisfaction, a certain comfort in being different. To find someone who could understand her, who wouldn't judge her, was troubling. But even though it scared her to be with him, she was also glad not to be alone.

Standing in front of him, Kate threw a banana in Sawyer's lap.

He woke up, startled, but relaxed and smiled when he recognised her.

"Did you just throw a banana at me?" he drawled.

"Couldn't find any rocks," she countered.

His grin grew wider as he looked her up and down.

"What?" she asked, slightly uncomfortable.

"I just realised it's the first time we've seen each other dry," he replied with amusement.

"Let's hope it stays that way," she said with a smile.

Sawyer seemed to appreciate seeing her more relaxed.

"You seem to be in a better mood, Pumpkin."

Kate didn't address his comment, only replying:

"Get up, we need to find out if there are other survivors."

"What, you don't enjoy my company, Freckles?" he asked mockingly as he got up.

She couldn't help smirking. He actually wasn't such bad company when he wasn't being overly curious.

"Maybe someone could fix the transceiver," she explained.

"Alright, boss."

Sawyer put on his still damp shirt, cringing, grabbed his pack and the banana she'd given him, and off they went.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Walking behind Kate, Sawyer wasn't complaining about the sight she offered. What a woman, he thought admiringly. Beautiful, strong, competitive… mysterious. Something was drawing him to her, something more than physical. In her eyes, he had seen the same pain someone could probably see in his own. What was she hiding? She seemed very fit physically and used to making quick decisions. Strong-willed, but vulnerable, too, he'd seen the proof of that the previous night.

"Quit staring at my ass," Kate warned him all of a sudden.

"Then give me something else to stare at," he replied with amusement.

They'd been walking for a couple of hours, mostly silent. There were a million things he'd want to know about her, but asking questions would prompt some on her part and that was the last thing he wanted.

At last, something safe to say popped up in his mind.

"So, Freckles, if we're really alone here… if this island isn't on any map… We should name it. Any suggestions? I got 'Craphole Island'."

"Ah, I thought you'd go with 'Sawyer's Island', like 'Gilligan's Island', she replied with an amused grin, turning to look at him briefly while continuing to walk.

"Okay, Sassafrass, if this were the old TV show, who'd you like to be?"

"Um… the millionaire's wife, probably," she told him after a little pause as Sawyer nodded in approval. "What about you?" she wanted to know.

"Well, Eunice, if you're the millionaire's wife, then I want to be the millionaire," he quipped with a dimpled smile.

Kate couldn't help chuckling and that made Sawyer's smile grow even wider. She was pretty darn cute when she laughed, he thought.

"Are you-" he began, but Kate suddenly froze, apparently listening to something. As he opened his mouth to ask what was going on, Sawyer heard some growling, some movement in the tall grass around them.

Something was running towards them. Something big.

"What the hell is that?" Sawyer wondered, his brow furrowed. 

"Something's coming," Kate said, stating the obvious.

"Come on, let's move," Sawyer urged her before starting to run. Almost immediately, he noticed she wasn't following him.

"Kate!!! What are you doing?!" he shouted, stopping dead in his tracks.

But she didn't answer his question. Incredulous, he saw her hastily take out the marshal's wallet from her jeans' back pocket. A second later, she'd extracted a key, which she quickly used to open her mysterious silver case. The beast, or whatever it was, was getting closer and closer and Sawyer told himself this was, without a doubt, the end of them both.

But, to his surprise, the case held guns. Expertly, Kate grabbed one and fired four, five times, stopping only when a giant, fur-covered form fell at her feet.

Shocked, they remained silent.


	5. Chapter 5

Hi everyone! Here's chapter 5. When I first began writing this fic, I had a plan. If I stick to it, there's going to be one more chapter. But... I think it could be interesting to make the story longer. What do you guys think? 

**Chapter 5**

As though in slow motion, he watched Kate lower her gun.

Thoughts and emotions were churning inside of him. She had a gun. A big, white bear was down on the ground. The gun had been in a locked case to which the marshal had had the key. The bear was no ordinary bear. She had lied to him.

She was a criminal.

As the realisation dawned on him, Kate turned around and looked at him. Although still in shock, he was able to discern anticipation in her eyes. Almost as if she was waiting, wanting him to say it out loud. To hear him say how he knew she was a fugitive from the law.

But he wasn't going to say anything. He didn't even care what she had done to end up a prisoner on an Oceanic flight. Fraud? Blackmail? She couldn't have done anything worse than that, right?

"That's a big bear," he said mechanically, trying to hide how troubled he was. "Think that's what killed the pilot?"

Kate looked at him as though he was crazy and remained silent.

"And this isn't just a bear. It's a polar bear," Sawyer added flippantly.

For a moment Kate just kept on staring at him wordlessly. Then, speaking in a low voice, she said quietly:

"Go ahead, say it. Tell me you knew it."

Sawyer shrugged in response.

"Nah, you being a criminal don't matter to me. What does matter is…" 

He bent down and swiftly got a hold of the "personal effects" envelope that was inside the open Halliburton case.

"…that," he completed, pulling the yellow envelope out of her reach when she tried to stop him.

"Give it back!" she shouted, sounding desperate.

"Or what, you're going to shoot me?" he said smugly. Excited with the prospect of finally satisfying his curiosity, he extracted a toy plane from the envelope. Stunned, he wondered, "Is that what it was all about?"

In response, Kate tiredly put the safety back on the gun and stared at it for several long seconds.

"Tell me, Kate," Sawyer asked almost gently, and the tone of his voice caused Kate to look at him again.

"It belonged to the man I loved," she murmured before holding her hand out to him.

But Sawyer wasn't ready to let go of the plane and kept on staring at her. Seeing that, Kate offered one last bit of information.

"It belonged to the man I killed, okay?" she revealed, on the verge of tears.

Her words almost made his heart stop. She was a murderer, just like he was. And that was far more disturbing to him than the fact that she was a criminal. The connection he had only sensed was now plain obvious and he wasn't sure he was ready to see it. He didn't want to be stuck on a deserted island with a beautiful woman who could understand him. Who wouldn't judge him for the mistakes he'd made.

His jaw clenched and he handed her the toy plane, his eyes avoiding hers. His gaze fell on the silver case. Inside were four more guns. What kind of woman was she, if the marshal had needed five firearms in order to bring her back to the States? Sawyer bent down, grabbed a gun from the case, slipped it into his waistband. He then rapidly put the other three and the extra ammo inside his pack, leaving the empty case on the ground.

"Come on, we've got to find that plane," he then said coldly before turning abruptly and walking away.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They'd been walking silently for a long while now and Kate was growing more and more distressed. She would have preferred if he'd given her hell. At least she'd know where they stood.

What was he thinking about? How did he feel about her? Now he knew who she was and he'd tell the other survivors if they found any, wouldn't he? She could always kill him, she told herself mockingly, knowing full well murder wasn't something she'd want to do again. Then what should she do? Why bother finding the plane if she would only be made a prisoner again? Because that was what the other survivors would do. They'd never let her walk around freely if they knew what she'd done.

She wished she had run instead of getting the gun. But she'd only had a split second to decide what to do and her instincts told her that right now she'd be dead if she had made another choice.

But what probably bothered her the most right now was the change in Sawyer's attitude towards her. She hadn't known him long, she still had no information about who he was; but the fact was that she'd always looked for approval, that she'd always wanted to be considered a good person. From now on he'd see her as a killer and it deeply upset her. Maybe it'd turn out they were the only survivors, and they'd never be rescued. She'd never be able to pretend she wasn't who she was again. She'd have to confront her mistakes every minute of the rest of her life and she wasn't sure she'd be able to do such thing.

At this point in her thoughts, the trees became fewer and fewer around them. Soon, they found themselves in a wide, open space and for the first time since the crash they had the opportunity to have a good look at the island they were on.

They were well above the sea level, up on a big mountain. In the distance, they could see the ocean and almost immediately Kate noticed some smoke coming from what must have been a beach. Was it a fire lit up by survivors or just the fuselage still burning? She didn't know. But at least it meant there was a chance they'd find some answers if they made their way down there.

"See that?" Kate asked Sawyer, but as she turned to face him she knew he had.

"How far?" he wondered, eyes still glued on the black smoke.

Was he purposely avoiding looking at her? Kate repressed a sigh and replied:

"A day's walk, maybe more."

Wordlessly, Sawyer resumed his walking and she followed him dejectedly.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"We're going to have to find some water, soon," Kate said as she recapped her almost empty bottle. They had been walking in the jungle for over an hour now, an uncomfortable silence between them. Now they had reached a clearing and the sun was beating down on them, hard.

Sawyer offered Kate no response. He wasn't in the mood for talking, too disturbed with what he had learned about his companion.

"I said, we're going to have to find some water," she repeated, clearly annoyed with his behaviour.

"Yeah, yeah," he replied, not bothering to face her.

"Is this how it's going to be from now on?" she wondered as she stopped walking.

"Like what?" he asked, irritation lacing his voice. Of course, he knew full well what she meant but he wasn't about to let it show. He stopped, too, but didn't turn around.

"You being cold to me."

Sawyer pinched his lips. Something inside of him was urging him to push her away definitely, to hurt her enough so she wouldn't ever want to be close to him. He finally turned to face her, his features hard.

"Listen, lady, I don't know you, you don't know me. We're not friends and never will be, okay?" he told her in such a harsh way that Kate took a step back, her green eyes expressing just how intense her feelings of surprise and hurt were.

Sawyer couldn't help looking away, a part of him hating himself for acting this way. And feeling guilty only made him angrier.

"Now can we move on, please?" he asked icily as he walked away.

"Well, why don't you go ahead? I'll be just fine by myself and I won't be getting on your nerves," Kate replied, not moving.

"Don't flatter yourself, Sweetie Pie, I might come in handy next time we face another monster," he countered from over his shoulder.

"Oh, sorry, I forgot how you saved me from that polar bear!" she replied sarcastically.

Fuming, Sawyer stalked away into the trees while shouting:

"Well, I didn't have a gun then, thanks to-"

The words died in his throat when all of a sudden the ground disappeared beneath his feet and he felt himself tumbling down a hill.

"Sawyer!" he heard Kate yell as he desperately tried to stop his fall. But he only kept on falling down faster and faster, trying to avoid rock and trees as much as he could. Scared, he was telling himself that he had to be approaching the bottom of the hill when, in a fraction of second, he saw the open space beneath him. He was falling off a cliff!

Desperately, he tried to find something to hold onto. Luckily, he was able to grab onto a vine, but he knew full well he wouldn't last long. Maybe this was his chance to end it all, he told himself. He was slipping when he heard Kate coming and almost immediately he saw her hold her hand out to him.

"Take my hand, come on!" Kate urged him.

For a second he contemplated letting go, and his hesitation didn't go unnoticed by Kate. Sawyer clearly saw the fear and desperation in her eyes as she realised what he wanted to do.

"Don't even think about it! Take my hand!" she insisted, on the verge of panic.

In a two second lapse, Sawyer realised how much Kate relied on him. She wanted to save him, despite the fact that he knew her big secret, and that he could tell other survivors, if there were any. Maybe it was only because she feared being alone, but that was enough for him. He suddenly felt lighter and a smile crept on his face as he took her hand at last.

With difficulty, Kate pulled him up and then they both stayed on the ground for a moment, catching their breath.

"Thanks," he drawled as flippantly as if he'd been thanking her for getting him a drink or something.

Kate didn't reply, only stared at him with confusion written all over her face. But he wasn't about to explain his sudden change of attitude.

"Come on, Freckles, we've got to keep moving. We need to find water, remember?" he said as he got up, gallantly helping her do the same.

"Okay," was all Kate could muster.

And with that, they resumed their journey towards the plane.

xxxxxxxxx

The hours that followed Sawyer's fall were much less tense, even though they didn't talk a whole lot more than they previously had.

Kate, for one, was lost in her thoughts. Even since she had first laid eyes on Sawyer, she'd wondered who he was. What was his real name? What was he hiding? Why had he become extremely cold upon learning she was a murderer, only to totally change his ways towards her after almost dying? Why had he considered killing himself??

She had no answers to these questions and it was beginning to seriously bother her. He now knew way too much about her for comfort, and she had to do something about that. Perhaps if she could get him to tell her his darkest secret, she'd be able to use it to keep him from telling anyone else she was a fugitive?

At this point in her thoughts, they came about some caves and they entered, amazed at the sight before them. The place looked as one could have imagined the Garden of Eden. Around them, plants, trees and… water.

"It's beautiful," Kate murmured.

"Yeah," Sawyer could only approve. "Look, debris from the plane," he added and for a short while they stood silent, wondering if they'd find some corpses in their paradise. But a quick look allowed them to only find pieces of the fuselage along with about a dozen suitcases.

"We should look through them, see if we could find something useful," Sawyer suggested.

Kate nodded.

"Okay. We'll camp here tonight."

Leaving the suitcases aside for now, they gathered some wood and started a fire, thanks to the lighter Sawyer had on him.

"Are you a smoker?" Kate wondered. A question as any to begin with, she figured.

"Yeah, well, I guess I _was_ a smoker. I doubt I'll find any 7-Eleven stores around here," he winced.

"Well, that's a good thing. A smoker's breath isn't very attractive," she quipped, prompting Sawyer to raise an eyebrow. Kate mentally rolled her eyes. Playing the seduction card probably was the only chance she had to get anything out from Sawyer, she figured, but she'd have to tread carefully.

As she stood by Sawyer's side, Kate noticed his tumble down the hill had left a tangible reminder in his hair.

"You've got dirt in your hair," she told him.

He ran a weary hand in it and nodded.

"Yeah, I do. I should wash up."

"Come on, let me help you out," she said, guiding him towards the water. There, she rolled up her pants and took her shirt off, leaving her only wearing a tank top. She felt Sawyer's eyes on her as she grabbed her empty bottle and entered the shallow water.

"Take off your shirt and come here," she instructed him.

"Well, Freckles, I thought you'd never ask," he drawled with a seductive wink. Great, now he was mocking her. She'd have to turn the heat on if she wanted him to take her seriously at all.

So he did as she had requested and sat down on the rock she had indicated him. Standing beside him, Kate filled her bottle with water before emptying its contents on Sawyer's head.

"Geez, it's cold," he grunted, eyes closed.

"Sorry," she replied, busy trying to delicately take a piece of leaf out of his hair.

He didn't complain again as she worked, and in no time she had almost forgotten where she was and why she was doing this. She was simply enjoying being close to him, the possibility she had to examine freely his movie-star profile as well as his well-built chest. She felt her pulse quicken as she heard him sigh softly when she gently ran her fingers thought his hair.

When Kate realised there probably was some shampoo and soap in the suitcases near them, she quickly decided that getting those wouldn't be the best of ideas at the moment. Who knew where it could lead them? Right now she'd be in no position to push him away. In fact, she felt herself caught at her own game. Sawyer was extremely good looking and she hadn't been with a man in a very, very long time. She was afraid she'd do something they'd both regret later, even though he wasn't her usual type at all. She generally went for good, honourable men like Tom and Kevin. And something in her gut told her that Sawyer didn't fall into that category…

Desperate to hide her trouble, she decided to ask him her first question.

"So, I'm sure your mother gave you a first name?" she enquired nonchalantly.

Upon hearing her words, Sawyer immediately rose and shot her a deadly glare.

"That's none of your business, got it?" he growled before angrily exiting the water.

Kate stood there, stunned, for a moment. She had struck a nerve, obviously, and as she saw him walk away something broke inside of her. She was sick of playing games with him.

In the growing darkness, she saw him sit down by the burning fire and she joined him there. Only, she stayed standing straight up.

"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to upset you," she began, her voice laced with distress. "It's just that… I can't figure you out! All I know about you is a false name and that this afternoon you almost let go of my hand! You want to die and I want to know why!"

"Why does it matter to you?" he said calmly.

"Because… because that tells me we probably have more in common that we might have thought, _Sawyer_!" she shouted, holding back her tears.

Sawyer stared at her for a few seconds before he finally spoke again.

"It's James," he said, looking at her intensely.

"What?" she replied, completely lost.

"James Ford. That's my name," he repeated tranquilly, his eyes not leaving hers.

Thankful he had given her that much, Kate didn't push for more. It was as though a connection had just been made between the two and she didn't want to ruin the moment. Instead, she lay down by his side and fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

It was morning when, awoken by a zipping sound, Sawyer opened his eyes.

A few feet away, Kate was on her knees, staring at an open suitcase. She wasn't moving, and he could tell she was thinking about the person it had belonged to. While he personally would have no problem taking stuff from a dead person (they didn't need it anymore, right?), he understood why Kate couldn't do it.

He began to sit up, but every inch of his body hurt from his fall. His muscles were also sore from all the walking they had done the previous day and he couldn't help grunting in pain. Kate turned her head to look at him.

"Are you okay?" she asked with concern.

"I feel like I've been run over by a bus, but aside from that I'm good," he replied flippantly.

Seeing he was alright, Kate pensively gazed at the suitcase again.

"I'll take care of the luggage, Freckles," he told her lightly. "Why don't you go and find us some breakfast?"

"I saw some passion fruit just outside the caves," she said, clearly relieved. "I'll go get some," she decided, getting up.

Sawyer mimicked her, groaning some more as he did.

"Need a hand, old-timer?" Kate mocked him as she passed by him to exit the caves.

"Funny," he retorted, unable to quite mask his grin.

Now alone, Sawyer walked over to the suitcases, thinking about the previous night. He had been no fool to Kate's seduction game, but had gone along with it, figuring no harm could come of it since he wasn't planning on telling her anything. Being touched that gently had actually been a balm to his scarred soul and his guard had gone down a little. But then the mention of his mother had felt like a punch in his gut and he had burst out in anger.

Both their emotions had been so close to the surface that, to his own surprise, he had ended up telling her his name. He hadn't planned on doing that, but, caught in the moment, he had. What was going on with him? She showed a little interest in him and suddenly he felt like pouring his heart out to her?

He sighed. What a couple they made, two murderers looking for a shoulder to cry on, for someone to like them in spite of what they'd done.

Pathetic.

Vowing not to reveal anything else about him to Kate, Sawyer pushed these thoughts aside and began looking through the wreckage in search of two backpacks. One for each of them. Fortunately, he quickly found a couple of decent ones. That done, he crouched near the suitcase Kate had left open and began sorting things out.

He stuffed all he could inside his. Soap, clothes, books, dirty magazines… Maybe they'd never find other survivors, but if they did he figured all this stuff was better in his possession than in someone else's, wasn't it?

For Kate, he found toiletries and girly magazines, but it wasn't until he opened the last suitcase that he found clothes that could fit her. Some pants, t-shirts… even a pair of good walking shoes, which he set out aside for her to try on. He grinned widely when he discovered a red lace babydoll and put it inside her bag, chuckling as he imagined the look on her face when she found it. Maybe she'd even wear it for him one day? Well, a man could always dream, couldn't he?

Satisfied with himself, he was zipping the bag up when he heard a scream and a big thud coming from outside the caves.

"Kate!" he yelled, hurrying in her direction.

His heart skipped a beat when he saw her lying down on the jungle floor, not moving. He rushed to her side and knelt down.

"Kate, are you okay?" he said urgently, checking her out. There was no blood apparent, but it didn't mean she wasn't hurt, especially if she had fallen down from that big tree hovering over them. She must have climbed up the tree to grab the passion fruit from the vines ascending high on the rock, he figured.

"Kate!" he repeated, brushing a strand of hair out of her face, not knowing what to do. In a repeat of their first meeting by the waterfall, Kate's eyes fluttered open at that moment.

"Are you okay?!"

Kate stared at him for what seemed like an eternity before she replied feebly:

"Yes, I… I'm fine… but… who are you?"

Sawyer froze upon hearing her words. He was about to abandon himself to panic when he noticed a twinkle of amusement in Kate's eyes. She was toying with him, being the experienced conman he was, he could tell. The hell if he was going to let her get away with it, he decided, repressing a smile.

"Don't you remember me? I'm Jim, your husband… Let's see if I can jog your memory," he said before leaning in to kiss a suddenly wide-eyed Kate.

"Hey!" she gasped as she turned her head to the side, causing his lips to brush her cheek. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"Gotcha," he replied with a smug grin, not pulling back. "You shouldn't play with the master, Freckles."

"Get off me, James," she countered.

The mention of his first name stunned him for a split second, but he quickly recovered. Coming from Kate's luscious lips, it actually didn't sound half-bad.

"Are you sure, Freckles?" he drawled.

He saw a hesitation in her eyes before she gazed at his lips. The whole thing barely lasted a second, but he was trained to see that kind of thing. As his terrified brain urged him to get the hell off her, something equally strong inside of him kept him from moving. He felt frozen until she spoke again.

"Yes, I'm sure," she finally breathed out before pushing him off her and proceeding to slowly get up.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Sawyer asked her, his concern returning as he saw her wince in pain.

"Yeah, I am," she told him more firmly than before. "I got the wind knocked out of me when I fell, that's all."

Sawyer glanced up to the branch she had most likely fallen from and then looked down to the ground. Just two inches from where her head had rested was a rock. Retrospectively worried, he tried to shake off the thought that she'd almost died and picked up the few passion fruit that had fallen near them.

"Well, Jane, let's eat those and get on our way," he told Kate, who nodded in approval.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They were now nearing the black smoke and Kate was beginning to experience a familiar feeling of anguish in the pit of her stomach. Since telling Sawyer about her past and seeing how he didn't seem to judge her for it, she had felt more carefree than she had for a long, long time. But now that the time might be near when she'd have to face other people, anxiety was creeping up on her. What if Sawyer told someone she was a fugitive? She had to ask him what he intended to do and try to change his mind if she needed to.

Now.

She stopped walking abruptly and Sawyer bumped into her as she turned to face him. Swiftly, he put his arms around her in order to keep her from falling to the ground.

"Well, hello there," he drawled seductively.

But Kate didn't react the way he'd have expected her to. She didn't even smile and, sensing she had something serious to say, he let go of her.

"What is it, Freckles?"

"James… I…" she began, locking her hesitant eyes onto his wondering ones, "There's something I need to know before we get to the beach."

"Ask away, Sugar pop," he replied with fake nonchalance, but his eyes telling a whole other story.

The moment to come would be a defining one and it took Kate a couple of seconds before she had the courage to speak.

"If we do find other survivors… Will you…" Kate paused and took a deep breath. "Will you tell them that I'm a murderer?"

She couldn't look at him for a second, but when she did, she saw in his eyes a brief glimpse of hurt and she prayed she hadn't just ruined everything by doubting him.

"Don't worry, Freckles, your secret is safe with me," he finally replied, his intense gaze on her, and immediately Kate knew she could trust him. In his own way, he'd given her his word.

They were still standing very close and Kate was so relieved and thankful that, on an impulse, she leaned in and kissed him lightly. Then, realising what she'd just done, she proceeded to pull back but, instantly, she felt Sawyer's hands around her mid-section, holding her firmly in place.

While her pulse quickened, their eyes locked, but right at this moment they heard noises coming from the bushes near them. In a flash, they separated and drew their guns. They stood there, unmoving, until a short man emerged in front of them.

"Bloody hell!" he exclaimed, alarmed. "Don't shoot! I'm… just… I'm Charlie! I'm a survivor of flight 815!"

Kate and Sawyer exchanged a look and they put their guns back in their waistbands, prompting the man to let out a relieved sigh.

"Who are you?" Charlie wanted to know.

"We were on the plane, too. I'm Kate and this is-"

"Sawyer," he cut her, gazing at her meaningfully. She got the hint and frankly she wasn't surprised he'd shut himself up again. They had bonded over the last two days, revealing things about themselves they wouldn't have if placed in a different situation. But now they weren't alone anymore and it changed everything.

"Are you alone?" Kate asked Charlie.

"There's over 40 of us down at the beach," he replied, gesturing behind him. "Come with me, I'll take you to Jack."

"Who's Jack?" Sawyer wondered.

"He's the doctor," Charlie explained. "He's sort of our leader."

"A doctor… great," Kate heard Sawyer mumble as they followed Charlie to the beach.


	7. Chapter 7

Hi! Thanks so much for the kind reviews, you make my day!

I'm nowhere near done with chapter 8, so it might be a while before I post again. Sorry. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this chapter! (And thanks again to you, Melinda! )

Chapter 7 

"Have we met anywhere, Charlie?" Kate asked as they approached the beach. Without even seeing her face, Sawyer detected a note of anxiety in her voice. Was she worried Charlie knew something about her past?

"No, that would be unlikely," Charlie replied, and Sawyer saw the tension leave Kate's body. "I look familiar, though, right?" the Englishman continued with a hint of satisfaction in his voice.

Kate nodded.

"Yeah."

"Can't quite place it?"

"No, I can't," she replied.

Sawyer was getting annoyed with the guy. Would he just tell her who he was and get it over with?

"Damn, Limey runt, would you just tell her?" he growled in exasperation.

Charlie shot him a fearful look, but his smile quickly returned when he gazed at Kate again. And he began to sing, if you could call that singing, Sawyer thought.

"You all everybody… You all everybody," he sang, before asking, "You've never heard that song?"

"I've heard it. I just don't know what the hell…"

Sawyer was about to pin the guy to a tree when Charlie finally explained.

"That's us. Driveshaft. Look, the ring. Second tour of Finland. You've never heard of Driveshaft?"

"The band?" Kate asked, incredulous. "You were in Driveshaft?"

"I am in Driveshaft. I play bass."

"Serious?"

"Yeah, I-"

"Are we almost there, Pippin?" Sawyer interrupted him, irritation lacing his voice. He just couldn't stand the guy and the star-struck way Kate was looking at him. Geez, he never knew she could act so… so girly.

Charlie didn't even have to reply. A second later, the beach opened before them and the first thing Sawyer saw was the big fire the castaways had built. The fuselage was further down the beach, a good distance from where they had decided to set up camp.

Quickly, all eyes converged in their direction as people started to talk excitedly. Sawyer didn't smile back at them the way Kate did. He was pissed off. He already hated them all. He wished he and Kate had never found them.

"Jack!" Charlie yelled, and a tall, dark-haired man lifted his eyes from the pills he seemed to be sorting out, not too far away from them. Intrigued, Jack walked over to them. He wasn't the only one, as two other men converged in their direction, too.

"They're survivors from the plane, too!" Charlie exclaimed once the men were all within earshot.

"Hi, I'm Jack," the doctor announced, extending his hand to shake Kate and Sawyer's. As he shook it, Sawyer examined the guy. He was good-looking and athletic. That, combined with the fact that he was a doctor, explained the appreciative look on Kate's face, he figured, his irritation growing.

"This is Kate, and this is Sawyer," Charlie told everyone excitedly.

"I'm Sayid," a middle-eastern man said, shaking their hands, too. His tone was gentle, but Sawyer noticed the suspicious way he was staring at them. "And this is Hurley."

"Hey, dudes," the big guy said, making a little greeting gesture with his hand. "Were you sitting in the tail section?"

"No," Kate replied. "We were in the middle section. Actually, the plane broke apart about three rows from where I was sitting."

"What happened to you?" Jack asked Kate.

"We fell into a lake, in the jungle. About two days walk from here."

"I'm curious: why do you have guns?" Sayid asked them, and from the look in his eyes, Sawyer knew the guy wasn't a man you should lie to.

But he did anyway.

"There was a federal marshal on the plane. We found his body on our way here, and guess what? He had these two babies on him," he told Sayid, repressing his annoyance.

"I think it would be preferable if you kept the guns, Jack," Sayid said, turning to the doctor.

"What??" Sawyer said, taken aback.

"If we're going to live together, then we have to establish some rules," Jack intervened. "We can't let you two walk around with guns."

"Finders keepers, losers weepers, Jackass," Sawyer replied, fuming.

"Calm down, Sawyer," Kate told him, putting a hand on his forearm as she gazed into his blue eyes. "Let's give him _both_ our guns."

Realising she was trying to tell him he still had three more firearms inside his pack, Sawyer sighed. He didn't like that the doctor wanted to run the show, didn't like that Kate wasn't putting up more of an opposition.

"Come on," she encouraged him, as she handed her own gun to Jack.

Sawyer sighed deeply again, but complied with her request.

"There's a lot we need to tell you about, Jack," Kate said, looking intensely at the doctor.

"Okay," Jack replied, seeming to understand what she was about to reveal shouldn't be heard by everyone. "Charlie, Hurley, would you get Kate and Sawyer what they'll need to make themselves at home? Tarps, pillows… you know."

Hurley and Charlie seemed disappointed, but didn't fight Jack requests.

When they were gone, Kate told Jack and Sayid about what they had gone through. While keeping quiet about everything that had anything to do with her fugitive status, Kate revealed how they had found the cockpit and what the pilot had told them about being off course at the time of the crash.

When she mentioned the transceiver, Sayid suggested he might be able to get it to work.

"Oh, great, let's trust this guy! How do we know you aren't the one who caused the crash, Abdul?" Sawyer accused him.

"And how do we know you weren't the one being escorted by the marshal?" Sayid countered calmly.

"Sayid was a military communications officer," Jack explained.

"Where, in the Republican Guard?" Sawyer snorted.

Sayid didn't reply, but the Southerner knew he was right.

"He's our best chance, Sawyer," Kate intervened.

Once again defeated, Sawyer finally opened his backpack and, careful not to expose the other guns he had into his possession, extracted the transceiver before reluctantly handing it to Sayid.

"It is dual-band military spec. Chances are the battery is good, but the radio is dead," the Iraqi announced. "I will see what I can do."

"Anything else we need to know about?" Jack asked Kate, not bothering with Sawyer anymore.

Kate resumed her story, telling the stunned men how they were chased by some kind of monster and had later killed a polar bear. She finished by telling them about the stream they had found at the caves.

"That's great news. We've hardly got any water left," Jack told her. "I'll need you to show me that place."

"Sure," Kate replied with a wide smile.

Sawyer just wanted to throw up.

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After leaving Jack and Sayid, Kate and Sawyer silently made their way down the beach, looking for Hurley. Kate knew Sawyer was angry with her for taking Jack's side over the guns, but she knew she hadn't done anything wrong. So why did she feel guilty? She had the right to be friends with other people. Just because she and Sawyer had shared some kind of connection, it didn't mean they always had to agree, did it?

They finally came across Hurley, who gave them each a tarp and other useful items, as Jack had asked.

Sawyer took his stuff and immediately started to walk away to a deserted section of the beach.

"Where are you going?" Kate wondered.

"To build my new home, shortcake," he replied dismissively.

"Why so far from everybody else's?" she asked, although she wasn't surprised at his behaviour. She wasn't surprised, no, but she was disappointed. Back when they were alone, they'd been getting closer and she had started to see a side of him that their news friends were very, very far from suspecting.

"I need my privacy, pumpkin," he told her, turning around without slowing down his walk, "but feel free to drop by later," he added with a suggestive lift of the eyebrow.

"Pig," Hurley mumbled to himself. "Is he always like that?"

Kate couldn't help smiling affectionately as she considered the question.

"Ja-, I mean, Sawyer? Pretty much. But he can also be quite funny, too."

"Did you know him before the crash?"

"No. We fell into the lake and he saved my life," she explained, stealing a glance at Sawyer. It made her sad to see him alone down there.

"I could help you build your tent, if you want," Hurley suggested. "I could tell you about the rest of the people here."

"Sure," she answered gratefully, tearing her eyes off Sawyer. "I'd love to."

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"I was coming down to help you with your tent, but I see you've been busy. I didn't expect you to be done already," Jack told Kate, grinning, as he peeked inside her tent.

Kate was inside her tent, putting the finishing touches to her bed, enjoying the sight of the ocean in front of her.

"Hurley helped me," she replied, returning his smile. "He already has a lot of experience, it seems."

Even though she knew Sawyer hated Jack for being in charge and taking the guns, she couldn't help liking him. He seemed to be a good man who put the well-being of others before himself. She felt the castaways had made an excellent choice in deciding to trust him with their destinies. Plus, he was very handsome, she noted, trying not to blush.

"I'm surprised to see that Sawyer's tent isn't next to yours. I thought… you two…" he trailed off, an inquisitive look in his brown eyes.

"No, no," she replied, denying with a fervour that surprised her. "We only met after the crash. For a while there we thought we were the only survivors," she added, hating that she was trying to justify herself for having some kind of bond with Sawyer. Why did she feel the need to do such a thing for Jack's benefit?

"Oh, I see," he said, visibly delighted. "I was surprised a woman like you could be with a man like him. He doesn't seem to be the easiest guy to get along with."

"He's not that bad, when you get to know him," she replied, in a weak attempt to defend Sawyer. At the same time though, she was secretly pleased that Jack seemed to have such high considerations of her.

"Do you? Do you know him?" Jack countered, his eyes locked onto hers.

Truth was that she really didn't. But from what she knew, from what she sensed, James Ford was a decent human being behind the walls he'd built to surround himself. How could he be a worse person than she was, anyway?

"I don't," she replied, looking down. Silence fell between them as she tried to find a way to change the subject. Luckily, seconds later Charlie came to get Jack, as he was worried about a pregnant girl he referred to as Claire. As she pensively watched the men walk away, Kate decided it was time she and Sawyer had a little talk.

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Long after darkness had fallen on the beach, Sawyer headed to Kate's tent. He wouldn't have admitted it to anyone, but he already missed her. After spending every minute of the last two days with her, it felt strange to be away from her.

He could have put up his tent right by hers, of course, in an effort to maintain the closeness they had shared while in the jungle. But he hadn't, pissed off by the fact that she had taken the doc's side over his when Jack had asked for their guns. She was so love-struck over the doc, Sawyer thought wryly. She'd probably forgotten all about their kiss already. He wasn't crazy enough to butt in between the two and give Kate the chance to reject him in front of her new boyfriend. He wouldn't give them the satisfaction.

Then why was he headed to see her now? Because he couldn't help himself, that's why. He wasn't going to apologise for anything. All he wanted was to chat a little, see how she was doing. Nothing more.

"Hey Freckles, are you decent?" he asked when he reached the entrance to her tent.

"Yeah, come in," she replied.

"Damn, I was hoping to get a free peep-show," he drawled as he came inside and found her busy going through the bag he'd packed for her in the morning.

Kate looked up at him and smiled.

"You never stop, do you?"

"That's why you like me, kitten."

Kate let out a chuckle and he smirked as he sat down. He loved to see her grin. It must have been written all over his face, because when she met his eyes she quickly looked away, suddenly self-conscious. Her gaze dropped to her bag and something inside seemed to catch her attention.

"What is…" she began, before extracting the red babydoll. She blushed profusely when she realised what it was and he couldn't help laughing.

"You should try it on, Freckles, see if it fits," he said with a naughty grin.

She exhaled loudly in mocked exasperation, but she couldn't erase the smile from her face.

"You're such a jerk, Sawyer."

"Oh, so now I'm back to being called Sawyer?"

"Are you always like this?" she asked him, smiling but looking at him expectantly.

"Like what?"

"You know… Trying to get all the girls into your bed?"

"I'm not trying to get all the girls I meet in bed!" he responded, feigning to be hurt. "I don't try with the ugly ones."

Kate couldn't repress a laugh. But then she grew serious again.

"It's been quite a day, hasn't it?" she said. "I never expected to find so many survivors."

"I never expected to find them already established as a little community," he sneered.

Kate didn't comment at first, only staring at him with question marks in her beautiful green eyes.

"Why are you being so difficult, James?" she wondered and he noted how, now that they weren't joking anymore, she'd reverted to his real name. "Why do you want these people to hate you?"

Sawyer clenched his jaw. He had sworn to himself not to tell her more about who he really was, and he was going to stick to his promise.

"Why do you care?" he asked indifferently.

Kate looked down to her hands, still holding the red lingerie.

"I don't know why. I just do," she replied pensively.

She looked up and their eyes met. They were serious now and Sawyer felt his pulse quicken. An overwhelming desire to kiss her washed over him.

His rational mind switched off and he began leaning in when he heard a voice coming from outside.

"Kate? Are you in there?"

It was Jack, of all people. One day, he was going to punch this guy. Hard.

"Yes, I am," Kate replied, avoiding Sawyer's eyes. "Come in."

Jack did just that and Sawyer did his best not to seem fazed to see him. Jack probably did the same as he discovered the Southerner next to Kate.

"Kate, I…" the doctor began, hesitating as he noticed the hot little number Kate was still holding. Embarrassed, she stuffed it inside her bag. "… I wanted to ask you if you'd be willing to take me to the caves in the morning," he said, "We really need to get some water."

"Sure, Jack. No problem at all."

"Great. Well... I'll see you tomorrow, I guess," Jack said as he turned to leave.

"Night-night, doc," Sawyer said, but Jack left without responding.

Jack's visit had awakened again in Sawyer that all too familiar feeling of self-hatred. The moment was gone and he decided it'd be better to call it a night.

"Guess it's time for me to retreat to my own quarters," he drawled, "unless you want to beg me to stay?"

Kate returned his smile.

"This pillow looks quite appealing, actually. Goodnight, James," she said gently.

"Goodnight, Freckles. Sleep tight," he replied.

And he left, wondering what the next day had in store for them.

xxxx


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi! Thanks everyone for the nice reviews. Two of you mentioned how they missed the closeness between Kate and Sawyer. I hear you, ladies. ;) The closeness will be back come chapter 9 and I'm making a conscious effort to involve the other survivors as less as possible. I hope you like this chapter, but all comments are welcome. :)**

**Chapter 8**

It was still early when Kate exited her tent the next morning. She didn't know when Jack would be ready to leave for the caves and she wanted to be all set when he was. Looking around for him, she saw him kneeling in the sand next to his tent, busy preparing his pack.

"Hey, Jack!" she greeted him when she got near him.

He smiled when he turned his head towards her.

"Hi, Kate. Did you sleep well?" he asked, seeming to genuinely care.

She nodded, grinning.

"Yes, I did. It was a lot better than the previous nights on the island, for sure."

"That's great to hear," he commented before his gaze landed on the backpack she was carrying. "Are you all set to go?"

"Yes. Who else is coming?" she wondered as she kneeled by his side.

"Locke," he said and Kate remembered the bald man she had met at dinner the night before. "He went to collect the water bottles."

As Kate nodded once more, her gaze fell on the guns Jack had set down on the ground. Figuring one of these was for her, she reached out for one.

"Hey, hold on, Kate," Jack stopped, gently putting his hand on her forearm. "Do you even know how to use a gun?"

In a fraction of second, Kate tried to figure out what she should say. Last thing she wanted was for Jack to get suspicious of her.

"A little. My father taught me how to shoot," she lied, downplaying her abilities.

"It'll be better if Locke and I carry the guns, Kate."

"I know how to defend myself just fine, Jack," she retorted.

He let out a little laugh that Kate found a bit condescending.

"I'm sure you do. But we'll watch your back, don't worry about it."

As Jack went on getting ready, Kate stood there, trying to suppress the irritation that was growing inside of her. She was angry. Angry with herself or angry with Jack, she didn't know. All she knew was that she didn't need, didn't want to rely on a man to protect her. She could probably defend herself better than Jack could, she told herself. But she wasn't going to fight him. At least, not now. She had a better idea.

"I… I forgot something in my tent. I'll be right back," she told Jack who merely nodded, busy with his pack.

Kate spun on her heel and walked away, heading towards Sawyer' tent.

It was still early, but he was already sitting outside in his plane seat, reading a book.

"I need a gun," Kate declared unceremoniously as she stopped beside him.

Cocky as ever, Sawyer took the time to finish his page before he put down his book and looked up at her.

"You do? And why is that, Sweet cheeks?"

"I'm going back to the caves," was her only response.

"Well, Thelma, your boyfriend has two guns," he replied dismissively, reaching for his book again. "Ask him for one."

Sensing her frustration growing, Kate stayed silent. Sawyer was annoying enough when it came to Jack, the last thing she wanted to do was to encourage him on that path.

"What are you saying, Sassafrass, he doesn't want to give you one?" Sawyer wondered with a faked, surprised look on his face.

"Forget it," she replied tiredly. She didn't feel up to fighting either Jack or Sawyer over that stupid gun. She'd go with Jack, let him protect her. No big deal, she tried to convince herself.

"Ah, interesting," Sawyer quipped. "And if I do give you a gun, and your boyfriend sees it, how will you explain?"

Kate really hated to admit it, but he was right. She had no desire for Jack to find out she'd lied to him.

"Stop referring to him as my boyfriend, okay?" she countered coldly, not knowing what else to say. Suddenly she really felt like taking it out on the Southerner. "You know nothing about me," she said harshly.

"What, he's not your special someone?" Sawyer asked innocently, while his eyes revealed a hint of insecurity.

Kate tensed up. She could deny having any feeling for Jack, but how was it Sawyer's business anyway? Did he interpret their brief kiss as a sign that they were now more than friends? Were they even friends? She didn't know. She felt confused herself about why she had kissed him. Yes, she had been relieved he'd decided not to tell anyone about her past. But did that explain everything?

As things were right now between them, she saw no reason to tell him about any feelings she may or may not have for the doctor.

"I haven't even known him a whole day," she replied curtly.

Sawyer stared at her for a second before he spoke again.

"Well, Freckles, I seem to remember you kissing me after barely two days," he said with a suggestive grin on his face.

"Are you trying to be a pig or does it come naturally?" Kate responded with disdain before turning abruptly and walking away.

She had only gone a few paces when Sawyer spoke again.

"Kate, I could come along with a gun and protect you," he suggested with a gentleness she wouldn't have expected from him.

Kate stopped and turned around to face him. She felt grateful to him for offering and couldn't stop a little smile from forming on her face. But it faded as she wondered why the prospect of being protected by Sawyer pleased her while Jack's offer had made her crazy. Suddenly eager to leave, she replied:

"Thanks, but I'll be fine. I'll see you later, James."

And she went back to Jack, feeling Sawyer's eyes following her the whole way.

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When Sawyer found himself reading the same sentence for the fifth time, he brutally threw his book down. He just couldn't concentrate, unable to shed the vision of Kate leaving with Jack and Locke.

He was worried about her. He should have forced her to take the gun, telling her he'd deal with Jack if he said anything. He should have followed them, even if she didn't like it.

Sawyer suddenly froze. What in the world was wrong with him? Why was he so obsessed with Kate's safety? Why did seeing her leave bother him so much? Why did he hate Jack with all his heart? He had an idea why and he couldn't stand it. His jaw clenched and his hands balled into fists. He couldn't let himself have any feelings for Kate. No good could come out of this. He'd only hurt her in the end, his disastrous experience with Cassidy being proof enough that he was unable to love, whether it was a woman, his own child or himself.

Why would Kate like him anyway? Now that they weren't alone anymore, now that Doctor Do-Right was in the building, there was no way in hell she'd choose him. Even if she didn't know that he was a conman and a murderer.

Suddenly feeling a surge of self-hatred washing over him, Sawyer reached for the letter he still had in his pocket.

If she knew about all this, she wouldn't even lay eyes on him again without being disgusted. Then he'd be alone again. And it would be for the best.

"Jack will make sure she's safe, dude, don't sweat it," Hurley suddenly said, startling him.

Lost in his thoughts, Sawyer hadn't even noticed him walk over to him. That was a first, for sure.

"Oh, I'm not worried, Staypuff," he said curtly as he discreetly put the paper back where it had been, "I know the doc is the local hero. And what makes you think I'm concerned about Kate anyway?"

"I've been watching you," Hurley replied. "You've been reading the same page for an hour, glancing every two seconds at the jungle."

"Well I…" Sawyer began before realising he didn't have to explain anything. Annoyed, he callously continued: "What do you want anyway, Pork Pie?"

Hurley flinched, seeming ready to just walk away. But then he gathered all his courage and spoke again.

"First of all, stop calling me names, okay? It isn't nice. Second of all, we all do chip in to help around here. You need to start doing that, too."

Sawyer couldn't help smiling at Hurley's guts. Maybe he should start showing the guy some respect, he thought, amused. Then, pointing with his chin at the axe Hurley was holding, Sawyer wondered jokingly:

"Did you bring the axe to scare me into doing something?"

Hurley seemed to relax a bit.

"We need some wood to keep the big signal fire burning," he explained.

Figuring he could picture the logs as Jack's face as he hit them, Sawyer got up and took the axe from Hurley. Physical exertion was exactly what he needed right now.

"I'll get right on it, Hoss."

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As the group neared the beach, on their way back from the caves, Kate was lost in her thoughts.

She couldn't help thinking about Sawyer. He was an intriguing man, to say the least. There were times when he was really sweet and funny, while at other moments he was impossible. Rude, uncaring, guarded. Yet she felt attracted to him like a magnet. Last night, if Jack hadn't interrupted… She knew he was about to kiss her and she knew she wouldn't have resisted him. Was their attraction for each other purely sexual or was there more? Was there really a connection between them?

And what was the nature of that bond exactly? What did they have in common? Everything she knew about him she'd had to guess. All she knew about him was that he was a hurt and lonely person.

And so was she.

Lifting her eyes from the jungle floor, Kate's gaze fell on Jack who was walking in front of her, protecting her as he'd told her he would. He was the type of man she usually went for. A good man whose life was dedicated to helping other people. If Sawyer hadn't been in the picture, she'd probably be trying to seduce him. To make herself believe that if an honest man cared for her, then it meant she wasn't that bad.

But there WAS Sawyer. And perhaps it was time for her to explore the feelings she had for him. Whether it was sexual attraction or something deeper.

Minutes later, the threesome stepped onto the beach again. While Locke went directly to Claire to give her some much needed water, Jack and Kate put down their heavy backpacks and began extracting water bottles. As they did, Kate scanned the beach, looking for Sawyer, who didn't seem to be around. But before she could go and find him, Sayid walked up to her and Jack.

"I have fixed the transceiver," he announced.

Upon hearing the news, Kate felt as thought someone had just kicked her in the stomach. Rescue? That was the last thing she wanted. She was just beginning to let her guard down, just starting to get used to not be running anymore.

"That's great news," Jack commented.

"Except we're not picking up a signal," Sayid said, lighting a spark of hope in Kate's eyes.

"Why are you trying to pick up a signal, aren't we trying to send one?" she wondered, trying to understand how this worked.

"Yes, but what you want to see here is little bars," Sayid explained. "Bars would show the radio's getting reception."

"We need the bars?" Jack asked.

"We could broadcast blind, hope that someone, maybe a ship somewhere picks up our distress call," Sayid replied. "But that would be a waste of the battery. It might not last for long. There is one thing we could try."

"What?"

"Seeing if we could get a signal from high ground."

"Let's do it", Jack decided to Kate's despair.

She knew what she had to do now. She had no choice, really.

"I'll go with you," she declared to the two men. "Just give me a minute."

Tiredly, Kate grabbed her pack and walked away, heading to Sawyer's tent to get a gun. She'd have preferred to be going there to chat, but it was a luxury she couldn't afford. She had to go up the mountain in order to know right away if Sayid succeeded at sending a distress call. She had to know if she needed to run again.

As she neared Sawyer's tent, she wondered what she was going to tell him. Was she going to tell him she might not come back?

The question didn't prove to be issue, as she discovered when she arrived there. Sawyer was nowhere in sight. It was better that way, Kate told herself sadly as she searched his bag and finally found what she was looking for.

That gun would come in handy if she had to live alone out here forever, she thought dejectedly. In a way, she hoped Sawyer would show up right now, talk her out of this. Or offer to run away with her, she thought before sneering at herself. She was being ridiculous. He'd find a way to forget about her quickly enough.

And waiting to be taken to prison wasn't an option.

No man was worth more than her freedom.

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	9. Chapter 9

Hi! I hope you like this chapter… ;-) Let me know what you think!

**Chapter 9**

Thoughts were swirling around inside Kate's mind. She was experiencing so many emotions at that time that she didn't know if she was relieved or disappointed, scared or pleased.

It was already late that afternoon and she had just left Jack, Sayid, Shannon and Boone at the beach. The trek up and down the mountain had been long and difficult, but they had made a truly amazing discovery. When Sayid had tried to use the transceiver, they had found out something was already transmitting… from the island. But the most unsettling thing had been to realise that this message had been transmitting for over _16 years_.

What had happened to that woman? Was she still on the island? Would someone ever come? Would _she_ also spend 16 years here?

Kate had many questions. But even though finding out about that message was huge news, it was still secondary when compared to the joy and relief she experienced from being able to see Sawyer again. Her thoughts kept drifting to him and she wasn't even trying to fight it.

Arriving back at the beach, Kate had gone straight to his tent, but he wasn't there. Asking around, she had learned he was chopping wood in the jungle. Without even taking the time to get rid of her pack, she had headed back into the trees, following the sounds he made when the axe hit the log.

She was impatient to see him, to exchange some meaningless banter with him. Until the moment she had known for sure they wouldn't be able to send a distress call, Kate had felt totally miserable at the prospect of never seeing him again. She had to admit it to herself: James Ford had found a way to smash through defences she had thought unbreakable.

The notion was scary, yes. She didn't know how to be truthful to anyone anymore. She didn't know when she'd have to run again. They could both get hurt if they got too close. But it was a risk she couldn't _not_ take. That is, if he was feeling the same way about her she was for him.

Something was telling her that he did feel the same way. How jealous he seemed to be of Jack and how concerned he seemed to be about her safety were strong indications of that. The problem now was whether or not he'd be able to surrender to those feelings, as she was now ready to do. Well, as ready as she could ever be, she thought as she caught a glimpse of his shirtless figure through the trees.

A big smile appeared on her face as she increased her pace.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The axe forcefully hit the log, which split in two and fell to the ground.

It would have amazed anyone watching to see how much strength he could still muster after so many hours of doing the same thing. But Sawyer knew perfectly well how he was managing it.

He was angry.

Earlier, after a couple of hours taking his hatred of Jack out on the poor trees, Sawyer had returned to the beach, looking for Kate. She was nowhere to be found and he had gotten worried. The caves weren't that far; what if something had happened to her?

But when he had seen Locke chatting with the pregnant girl, his concern had turned into anger. Where were Kate and Jack? Fooling around at the caves, maybe?

Without even considering asking Locke where they were, he'd grabbed the axe again. Livid, he headed back into the jungle, not knowing if he was angrier with them for not being back or with himself for caring that they weren't.

Kate seemed to have chosen the doc and that was fine by him, he told himself as he forcefully swung the axe once more. Since he knew he could never be just friends with her, Sawyer was perfectly aware of what he had to do now. He had to push her away, ending any chance of their being together once and for all, and save the both of them from pain they didn't need.

He kept telling himself that was exactly what he was going to do until a voice startled him.

"Hey," Kate said joyfully as she appeared in front of him. "Nikki told me you'd be here."

Slowly standing upright again, Sawyer felt his pulse quicken at the sight she was offering. She was dishevelled and sweaty, but he'd never seen her so stunning.

"Who the hell is Nikki?" he replied grumpily, trying to focus on a log instead of losing himself in her.

"I'm surprised you haven't noticed her," Kate commented with a teasing grin.

Raising his eyes from the log to her lovely mouth, Sawyer clenched his jaw as he wondered if those lips were already well acquainted with the doc's.

"So, did you and Jacko have a nice day at the caves?" he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Kate's smile faded.

"We weren't at the caves," she replied after a brief silence.

"Oh, so you found a more… secluded spot?" he countered with a disdain he couldn't hide.

He saw Kate tensing up.

"Haven't you heard?" she told him tersely.

"Heard about what?" he wondered, his curiosity momentarily taking over his jealousy.

"Sayid fixed the transceiver. We went up a mountain to get a signal."

Was rescue coming already? Sawyer was shaken up. Did it mean that the authorities would come for Kate shortly? If they were, he'd have to find a way to help her escape.

"Did you?" he asked, afraid of her answer.

"No. Someone else was already transmitting."

"What???"

He couldn't believe his ears.

"The message was recorded 16 years ago" Kate added. "A French woman was calling for help."

Sawyer took a second to ponder her answer.

"You mean… no one's come for her yet?"

Kate shot him a look that meant she thought it was the case. Staring at the ground, he repressed a sigh. Kate wouldn't need saving from the feds: she would need saving from him, instead.

"Well, then, look at the bright side: you'll have plenty of opportunity to spend more time with the doc," he drawled cockily.

As he stared at Kate, waiting for her to get angry with him, Sawyer was surprised to see her eyes filled with sadness.

"James, do you know why I went up the mountain with them?" she asked. Since he was staying silent, she continued: "Because I needed to know if they got help to come. I needed to be ready to run away if they did."

"Run? Where?" he said stupidly, trying to block reality from sinking in.

"This is a big island. They wouldn't find me," Kate replied with determination.

Shaken up with the realisation that she could have been gone forever, Sawyer stayed mute for a moment. While he couldn't be with her, while he knew he had to push her away, he now knew just how deeply he'd miss her if she left.

"Ah," he could only let out, apparently nonchalantly, while inside he was trying to strengthen the walls he had built around his heart. He had no choice but to end this now, but he hated himself for being about to hurt her.

"Wouldn't you have missed me?" Kate wondered, taken aback.

He looked at her, his heart screaming that it'd kill him if she left. A two-letter word was all he had to say and it would be over. She would turn around and leave, turn around and got to Jack for comfort. He had to say that word, even if it broke his own heart in the process.

"No. Why would I?" he finally told her cruelly.

Kate took a step back, hurt.

"I thought… you and I had a connection," she murmured.

"A connection?" he sneered. "You want to know what we have in common, Sweetheart?"

Kate only nodded.

"You wondered why I called myself Sawyer, huh?" he said as he grabbed his shirt and proceeded to put it back on. "Well, Sawyer was a confidence man. When I was a kid, he romanced my momma to get to the money, wiped them out clean. Then my daddy killed my mommy," he said sarcastically.

Kate gasped, but it only made his own gaze steelier. He didn't want her pity; he'd had enough of that as a kid.

"I dedicated my life to finding him, to getting revenge. On the way I became a conman, became the man I was hunting. But that's not the sad part. About a week ago, I killed in cold blood a man I thought was Sawyer. But… turns out he wasn't. So, I'm a murderer, too. How do you like that?" he asked her, glaring at her almost menacingly.

But Kate didn't turn around as he had expected her to. Like he had prayed she would. Instead, she slowly walked up to him, her green eyes locked into his blue ones. Sawyer knew he had to push her away right now if he wanted to avoid complete disaster, but he couldn't move. Kate raised her hands to his face and gently let them caress his face from his forehead to his stubbly cheeks. His breath caught in his throat. He had to stop this. He knew he had to.

He saw it in her eyes: she knew exactly how he felt, she understood him like no woman ever had. Like he had never let anyone even get close to. For a second, he shut his eyes, considering giving in. He'd never wanted anything more than he wanted to let her soft hands heal his scarred soul.

But he knew he couldn't. She deserved much more than he could ever give her.

Resolutely, he wrapped his fingers around her wrists and stepped back.

"Don't," he only whispered.

For a second neither of them moved. He just couldn't bring himself to let go of her, because he knew there would be no turning back once he did.

"I know… I know exactly why you're pushing me away," she said softly, her intense gaze still fixed on him. "You think you're not worthy of… happiness. Do you think I don't know what that feels like? At least you had a good reason for going after that man. I ruined so many lives out of pure selfishness!" Tears were threatening to fall now.

Sawyer finally let go of her. They stood there, face to face, for a long moment. While he didn't want her to understand, he was also dying to know more about her crime. To know how such a good person could have ended up a murderer.

Kate must have understood that he wanted her to go on, because she continued:

"I killed my father, James. I killed him because I hated how my mother loved him more than she loved me. I killed him because even though he beat her, even though everybody in town pitied us, even though I was miserable, she stayed with him. How selfish is that, huh?"

Finally realising how alike they were, how hurt she was, too, Sawyer could only murmur:

"Kate…"

But she apparently didn't hear him.

"After I killed him, my own mother was so disgusted with me that she sent the feds after me. She told me I had no right to decide Wayne wasn't the man for her. Still I continued to believe I'd done this for her, for HER well-being. And later, I caused the death of the man I had loved for years just to get the chance to tell my mom she was wrong about me. But she was right, James. I'm no good. So if someone isn't worthy of falling in love, it's me!"

The words had just as soon left her mouth that she froze, clearly stunned at what she just admitted. Then she turned around and ran away.

Sawyer couldn't move. He was in shock, too. Did she just imply she was falling for HIM? It couldn't be.

They would get hurt.

He wasn't ready for her, but he wasn't ready to lose her either. And he had to somehow let her know that. He couldn't just let her run away from him.

His legs finally agreeing to move, he hurried after her. He had just caught a glimpse of her through the thick foliage when she let out a terrified scream.

A second later, he saw the same thing she was and stopped dead, as horrified as she was.


	10. Chapter 10

Hi! This chapter isn't very long, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. I'm moving at the end of the month, so it might take a while before I'm able to post the next one. Too bad: there's something pretty nice coming up for you skaters. 

Thanks for reading!!! 

**Chapter 10**

Kate couldn't believe she'd just told Sawyer she was falling for him. How could that have happened? Now she was convinced he'd never speak to her again. It had been too much, too soon, but she hadn't been able to stop the words from leaving her mouth.

Had she lost him for good, she wondered as she ran away? She had been so stupid! But she knew she was only getting what she deserved. She'd better accept it, she told herself as she finally slowed down, her teary eyes making it hard to see where she was going. Swiftly, she wiped the tears from her face.

And then she saw him.

Charlie.

For a second her mind couldn't process what she was seeing. Just a second. Then the enormity of what was in front of her sank in, and she froze, staring at the horrific scene in front of her.

Charlie was hanging from a tree, unmoving.

A small scream managed to escape her lips. The rest of her body was paralysed.

"Go and get the axe, I'll hold him up!" Sawyer suddenly shouted from behind her, startling her. "Quick!" he added, his voice finally causing her to come out of her trance.

There was no time to go back for the axe, she knew that. Every second counted. In a flash, she reached for the gun she had taken from Sawyer and, unbeknownst to Jack, tucked into her waistband. As Sawyer supported Charlie's weight, she took aim, and fired, cutting the rope in two. Charlie fell into Sawyer's arms.

He settled the Englishman on the ground and shot Kate a surprised look. Too worried about Charlie to react, Kate knelt down by his side.

"No pulse," Sawyer told her, obviously distressed.

Without wasting another second, Kate started to perform CPR on Charlie.

"Come on!" she yelled desperately after what felt like an eternity, when Charlie was still showing no sign of regaining consciousness.

"Kate," Sawyer said gently, but she ignored him. She knew what he was trying to tell her and she just couldn't face it. "Kate!" he said louder as she furiously banged her fist on Charlie's chest.

"He's gone, Kate," he told her softly, cupping her face to force her to look at him. "We did what we could."

"No," she replied, repressing a sob. "Not another one."

Sawyer was looking at her with such gentleness that Kate wished she could hide in his arms and never leave them again. But he had pushed her away just minutes before and her admission certainly hadn't improved things between them. Right now, it seemed as though he didn't mind being close to her, but this wasn't an ordinary situation. Who knew how he'd act towards her when things got back to normal? She wasn't going to throw herself at him. If he wanted to be with her, he'd have to make the first step, she resolved.

Suddenly, to their surprise, Charlie gasped and opened his eyes. Sawyer let go of Kate and, stunned, they stared down at him.

"Charlie!!" Kate exclaimed at last. "Are you okay?"

Charlie nodded feebly as he slowly sat up.

"Claire," he said with difficulty, his voice raspy.

"What?" Kate asked, unsure she had heard right.

"Where's Claire??" he asked, clearly alarmed.

"We haven't seen her, Charlie. She's probably at the beach," Kate told him gently.

"Ethan took her! He bloody hung me up there!"

"Who the hell is Ethan?" Sawyer asked gruffly.

"He's a survivor, too, and he took Claire! He can't be far; we've got to stop him!" Charlie exclaimed. He was frantic.

"Take him back to the beach, Freckles. I'll find that Ethan guy," Sawyer said resolutely as he got up.

"You're not going to get rid of me that easy, James," Kate countered, getting up too and locking her gaze into his.

For a couple of seconds Sawyer just stared blankly at her. Kate wondered if he had got the double meaning behind her words. Had her involuntary admission cut all bridges between them? Anxiously, she waited for him to push her away once more. But then she saw the corners of his mouth twitch and he smiled.

"I hope not," he replied, still grinning but looking at her intensely.

How in the world could he affect her like this? Why was it that he only had to smile to reduce her to a puddle of goo? With difficulty, she tore her gaze off him and looked at Charlie.

"Do you think you can make it back to the beach on your own?" she asked him.

"Yeah," he nodded as he stood up.

"Tell Jack to send us some backup, just in case," she instructed him.

"Okay. Now go and find her. There's no time to waste," the musician urged them before he went his own way.

Frenzied, Kate began looking around, trying to figure out which way Claire and Ethan had gone. Soon, she found what she was looking for.

"This way," she said, and off they went.

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"Are you sure they really went this way?" Sawyer wondered.

"I think so," Kate replied as she studied the ground. They had been uneasily following Ethan's track for a few minutes now, but still no sign of Claire. "I wish Locke were here. He seems to be a much better tracker than I am," she added gloomily.

"Who the hell…" Sawyer began before pausing, and then adding, "Ah, I know. You mean Mr Clean."

He hadn't even tried to be humorous, but still he saw a smile creep up on Kate's face.

"You're funny," she told him evenly before resuming her walking.

Behind her, Sawyer was grinning so widely he felt stupid. Why did it make him so happy to know she found him amusing? Because it was a sign that maybe everything wasn't lost between them? Minutes ago, she had tried to let him know she was willing to wait on him, hadn't she? He was pretty sure she had, but he wasn't going to look for confirmation. Whatever her answer would be, it would disturb him deeply and he wasn't ready for that.

"So Jack gave you a gun after all?" he said, trying to think about something else.

"No," Kate replied without looking at him. "I took it from your pack."

Reminded that had the transceiver worked he would have lost her forever, Sawyer stayed silent. Sombrely, he wondered if that was why he was trying to find Claire. Was it because he knew how devastated Charlie would feel if he lost Claire? He hadn't been on the beach long, but he'd had time to notice how close the two were growing.

Realising how much he'd changed over the last three days, Sawyer cringed. What the hell was going on with him, wanting to help people he didn't even know? Falling for the first woman he had laid eyes on?

Annoyed with himself, he tried to focus on what they were doing. One question was bugging him: how come they still hadn't caught up with Ethan? The guy was either dragging or carrying a pregnant woman. That had to slow him down…

As if she had read his mind, Kate suddenly stopped walking.

"Something's not right," she murmured. "I don't understand. How can he be faster than we are? I don't think Claire is following him willingly."

"Did you ever think Charlie might be lying?" Sawyer asked her, without really believing in that possibility. "Maybe he hung himself, had a suicidal urge or something."

"Why would he do that?" Kate wondered with disbelief written all over her face.

"Maybe he's a junkie in need of a fix? You know these rock stars, Freckles. Maybe he's delusional and stuff?"

"It makes no sense, James," she told him absently as she studied the ground again. All of a sudden, she froze. "Look. There are two trails."

"You think Claire could've escaped?" Sawyer asked, hopeful.

Kate sadly shook her head.

"No. The footprints are too big."

"Then what?"

"If Ethan knows that we're behind him, he could be setting up a dummy trail. Take off in one direction; double-back his own footprints."

"Damn," Sawyer muttered. "What do we do now?"

"We split up," Kate replied with determination.

"No way."

If she thought he was going to let her go alone after some crazy guy, she was wrong.

"We don't have - " she paused abruptly, bringing her hand to her forehead. She swayed a little and Sawyer, noticing how pale she'd become, moved towards her. Not a moment too soon; she started to fall, and Sawyer managed to catch her before she hit the ground.

"Kate! What's going on?" he asked, clearly alarmed.

"I'm okay," she said feebly, trying to get up. He tightened his hold on her, determined that she not try to stand until some of her colour had returned.

"You've been walking almost non-stop for three days, Kate. Have you eaten at all today?" he asked, concerned.

"I… I had a mango on the way to the caves," she admitted, knowing she should have taken better care of herself.

Sawyer was about to sit her down on a rock and force her to rest when he heard some noise behind him. Swiftly, he got a hold of the gun Kate had tucked into her waistband and aimed, ready to fire.

A couple of long seconds later, Locke emerged from the bushes. When he noticed Sawyer and the gun he was holding, he didn't flinch.

"Hello there," he greeted Kate and Sawyer with a big smile as Jack and Charlie appeared behind him.

Relieved, Sawyer lowered his arm, but not before Jack noticed the firearm.

"Where did you get that gun?" he asked heatedly.

Sawyer kept his cool, but his dislike of the doctor increased exponentially. He got up to face him.

"Well, maybe the marshal had three after all," he replied cockily, making Jack even angrier.

"So you lied to me? To us?"

"I guess I did," Sawyer answered smugly.

The two men stood in front of each other, seemingly ready to fight.

"There's no time to waste over that, Jack," Charlie intervened. That seemed to calm them down. After one last menacing look at Sawyer, Jack spoke again.

"John, you go first."

"Wait," Kate said, and all eyes converged on her. "There are two trails."

"What?" Jack asked, surprised. "Now you're a tracker?"

To Sawyer's pleasure, Kate dismissed his comment and quickly showed Locke the trails. The bald man agreed with her.

"So, we've got two trails. Let's split up," Jack decided. "John, Charlie and I will take that one. Kate and Sawyer will take the other one."

"No. We should stay together, Jack," Locke disagreed.

"Why? We've got two trails, and apparently, two trackers. And they have a gun," he added bitterly. Sawyer didn't even try to repress a smile, which got wider when he caught the meaningful look Kate sent his way. Maybe she wasn't as impressed with the doc as he had assumed she was.

"So let's go," Charlie urged them and he sounded so desperate, so worried about Claire that no one argued. 

"Be careful," Locke warned Kate and Sawyer as they set off on their separate paths. 


	11. Chapter 11

Hi!!! I'm sorry it took me so long! I hope you like the chapter. Big thanks again to Melissa for being such a great (and quick) beta reader:-)

**Chapter 11**

As they followed Ethan's trail, Kate couldn't help smiling derisively to herself. There they were, two murderers tracking a kidnapper. How ironic.

Thinking about the revelations Sawyer had made earlier, Kate wondered why she wasn't more upset about them. Why did him being a murderer feel so unimportant? It seemed like it had nothing to do with the man she was walking with. His past didn't matter to her.

Then why was it so hard to let go of her own past? Sawyer didn't seem to care that she was a fugitive either. When she was around him, she never had to be someone she wasn't.

The thought was comforting, but scary.

She discreetly glanced at Sawyer and her pulse began to race, as it always did lately. In just a few days he'd become so important to her that she didn't know what she'd do without him. She wasn't sure how that had happened. All she knew was that it would break her heart if he pushed her away once more. Never before had she opened up like this, and she was convinced that if he rejected her again she'd never recover from the pain of it.

Her train of thoughts was suddenly stopped when Ethan's trail led them to a small river.

"Damn," Kate muttered. "Which way did he go?"

Not admitting the lack of hope they were each feeling, they searched both sides of the river. They found nothing. If Ethan had really taken the path they were following rather than the one Jack and the others were searching, he could have gone anywhere.

With the oncoming darkness, it was clear to them that they weren't going to find Claire.

"It's like they vanished," Kate commented, despair written all over her face.

"I think we should go and see if the others had better luck than we did," Sawyer suggested quietly.

Silently praying for Claire, Kate nodded and followed Sawyer.

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They sat together on a large rock, back where they'd separated from the others. They remained silent, both lost in their gloomy thoughts. From time to time, Kate felt Sawyer's hesitant gaze on her, but she didn't acknowledge it. She knew he wanted to comfort her but didn't know how. This was fine with her, because she hadn't been reassured by anyone since Sam had left. She had been five years old then, and ever since that day she hadn't let anyone look after her. She would have to get used to Sawyer wanting to protect her…

They didn't have to wait long for Locke, Jack and Charlie, as they came back to the meeting spot only a couple of minutes after Kate and Sawyer did. They all seemed sad and concerned and it was easy for Kate to figure out they hadn't had more luck then they'd had. Quickly, they traded information. Locke was convinced the trail they had followed was the dummy one. Ethan must have followed the river.

"We've got to search every inch of that river," Charlie urged them.

"Not now," Locke intervened quietly. "It's getting dark."

Jack looked as though he'd been stung.

"No way! We'll lose any chance of finding her!" he exclaimed.

"The sun is beginning to set," Locke replied tranquilly. "There's nothing we can do until morning."

Although everybody clearly hated the idea, they all knew they had no choice but to wait until the sun rose again. They decided to camp out right where they were. Locke went to get some food while Charlie just sat there, numb, as he most likely thought about Claire.

"I'll get some firewood," Sawyer declared briskly before vanishing into the trees.

He was clearly very upset and Kate wondered why. He hadn't really known Claire and she was surprised that he was so disturbed by her disappearance. Should she go after him and try to comfort him, or should she leave him some space? She was still trying to decide when Jack came by to talk to her.

"Did you know about the third gun, Kate?"

It took Kate a second to realise what he was talking about. She couldn't believe he was still thinking about the stupid gun at such a time! Claire was missing. She and Sawyer had spent hours looking for her, not knowing how dangerous it could be. Wasn't it obvious they were all on the same side? 

"Yes, I did," she replied with some annoyance.

"What?" Jack exclaimed, stunned. "I can't believe you hid that from me, from us! I expected better from you. Not from him, but from you, I did."

"He's a good man," Kate protested in an effort to defend Sawyer's honour. "You have no right to judge him."

"Did he force you to keep the secret? He obviously wasn't pleased when I made him give me your guns yesterday," Jack continued.

Kate was getting pretty irritated with Jack's attitude. He was so sure she was better than Sawyer, it made her sick. She had killed a man for selfish reasons while Sawyer had sought to avenge his parents. Jack didn't know anything about them, she told herself angrily. Just because she was friendlier to others than Sawyer was, the doctor had decided James was the bad guy. She hated that.

"I think today James and I have proven that we're on the same side as you," she said, and the use of his first name surprised herself. But it felt right. "In fact, Jack, we have a fourth gun back at the beach. And we're keeping it," she declared with fire in her eyes.

Jack was in shock for a moment and Kate started to feel guilty. Jack had been chosen as the survivors' leader and he was doing his best to live up to the task. She was about to apologise when, probably feeling he had no choice but to cave momentarily, Jack spoke again.

"Fine, Kate. But don't be foolish enough to believe that this won't come back to haunt you," he countered, his voice letting show a hint of menace. "You can't live with us and do things your own way."

Not liking to be threatened, Kate stiffened. All need to express regret vanished.

"I'll handle it," she replied curtly before going after Sawyer.

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Later that evening, the group was sitting around the fire. There had been few words exchanged so far, as they were all deep in their thoughts. At one point, though, Kate expressed what everyone was wondering.

"I don't understand how he could've escaped. We were faster than he was."

Locke was the one who responded.

"Maybe he just knows the island better than we do," he said evenly, a little smile creeping up his face as he saw Kate and Sawyer's surprised stares turn in his direction. Jack and Charlie didn't even flinch, to Sawyer's amazement.

"How could he?" Sawyer wondered.

"Earlier today, Hurley found out that Ethan wasn't on the plane," Locke explained. "His name wasn't on the manifest."

"What?!" Kate exclaimed. "You mean…" 

She didn't finish her sentence, clearly disturbed at the idea. Charlie and Jack obviously already knew about Hurley's findings.

"We're not alone. Yes, that's what I mean," Locke confirmed. To some extent, he seemed to enjoy himself and Sawyer felt like hitting him. Couldn't the bald man see how the news troubled Kate?

"You think he had an accomplice?" Sawyer wanted to know. "But how…"

"It's very possible he had help," Locke agreed. "But you're asking the wrong question. Not how, _why_."

The bald man's words were followed by silence. The survivors seemed to be trying to find the answer to that question, without success. Eventually, they decided to take turns standing guard and settled in for the night. One by one, they fell asleep, except for Kate and Sawyer.

Having volunteered to take the first shift, Sawyer remained seated, his back to a tree. A couple of feet from him, Kate was trying to let sleep take her, but she kept on shifting positions. In the flickering light the fire offered, she was so beautiful that Sawyer felt his heart leap. Why had she such massive effect on him? How was it possible that they had connected the way they had? It amazed him how she seemed to know exactly what he needed. Earlier, she had helped him get some wood, but she hadn't spoken a word, hadn't tried to get to know why he was so upset. Her mere presence had comforted him and he was grateful for that.

He wanted privacy because Claire being kidnapped angered him. How could a man do that? What if it had been Kate who was taken? She would have given the guy a hard time, he thought with small, proud smile. But he became sombre again when he realised that, sometimes, the fight was useless. Remembering with pain how his mother had been powerless to save her own life, Sawyer clenched his jaw. What if he lost Kate like he had lost his mother? He wasn't totally ready to give into his feelings for her, yet he craved to be near her. He had never experienced anything like this, not even with Cassidy. Somehow, he had to let her know this.

"Kate," he suddenly said, his voice low and husky.

Surprised, Kate turned to look at him. Their eyes met and she started to sit up. Before she was done, Sawyer's arms were around her body and his lips on hers. Recovering from her initial shock, she parted her lips, inviting him to deepen the kiss. His heart beating so wildly he thought it was going to explode, Sawyer complied, trying to express in his kiss all that he couldn't with words.

Kate must have understood this perfectly; because when they finally had to breathe she smiled before curling up into his arms. That's how, in a matter of seconds, she fell asleep that night. To Sawyer, nothing could've felt more right.

When the time came to wake Jack up for the next shift, he gently put Kate down. She didn't move a muscle. Then, while Jack looked out for them all, he lay down by her side and let sleep take him too.


	12. Chapter 12

Since I haven't heard from my dear beta reader Melinda in a few days , I'm going to go ahead and post anyway. I'll correct the last part of the chapter later, so all my apologies for any mistake you should find.

**Chapter 12**

"Hey, Kate, wake up," she heard Charlie whisper. "It's your turn to stand guard."

Slowly emerging from her sleeping state, Kate sat up.

"Thanks for waking me, Charlie," she told the Englishman, who smiled playfully.

"I know how much you wanted to have your turn," he replied teasingly.

Charlie was referring to how she'd had to fight Jack so he'd let her stand guard like the men were to. In the end, the doctor had surrendered, but the episode had left Kate wondering if she'd lost Jack's trust for good when she'd refused to give up the other guns. She knew she shouldn't torture herself over it. After all, Charlie had overheard her tell their leader about the firearms and yet it didn't seem to matter to him. Maybe Jack was more concerned about his authority being questioned than he was about the guns?

As Kate's gaze fell on Sawyer's sleeping form nearby, she recalled how proud of her and glad he'd seemed when she'd won her argument. Of course, he knew what she was really capable of while Jack didn't. But was that the only reason for his different reaction? Or would Sawyer always leave her be, while Jack would try to control her?"

Since Charlie was too worried about Claire to go back to sleep, they chatted together, careful not to wake up the rest of the party. From time to time, Kate's eyes would drift towards Sawyer and her heart would give a small leap as the memory of their kiss flooded over her. Did it mean all that she thought it did? Did it mean he was ready to let himself love her? She thought so, but a part of her was afraid that he'd wake up and push her away once more. And that, she wouldn't be able to take.

So, when the sun began to rise and the rest of the party awoke, Kate tried to maintain some distance from Sawyer, waiting for him to make the first move. From the corner of her eye she saw him glancing at her a few times, but he seemed as afraid to look at her directly as she was.

There wasn't much opportunity to have much contact anyway, as they resumed the search for Claire. They examined every inch of the area around the river, but had no more luck than the previous day.

Claire was nowhere to be found.

All of them sad and worried, they decided to go back to the beach. There was nothing more they could do for now. As they walked, Sawyer suddenly materialized beside Kate.

"Are you okay?" he asked in a low voice, probably not wanting the others to hear the concern in his voice. He was reluctant to let people know how good of a man he really was, of course. The realisation caused Kate to smile tenderly at him.

"Yes, I am. You?"

"I'm okay. This ain't over yet," he stated, his resolve written all over his stubbly face. Their eyes met and all of a sudden Kate felt a surge of love for him. He was ready to risk his life to save a woman he hardly knew. At that moment, Kate knew without a doubt that she was deeply, madly in love with him.

It must have shown in the way she looked at him, because for a second he dropped his eyes, a little uncomfortable. But when he lifted them again, she saw the same emotion reflected in his blue eyes as she herself felt.

"You're dirty," he said after a moment, smiling as he wiped her cheek with his thumb.

"I can't wait to wash up," she sighed.

"Need some help, Freckles?" he whispered suggestively in her ear, making her grin widely.

Everything was back to normal.

Sawyer was busy.

On his knees inside his tent, he was digging. No way he was going to let the doc get those guns. He needed them to protect Kate. Now that he felt ready to give into his feelings for her, he wasn't going to let anything or anyone jeopardize everything.

So that was why he was digging a cache beneath his bed, in case Jack decided he had the right to search his place.

"James?" he suddenly heard Kate say, and he almost jumped out of his skin. "Are you in there?"

"Yeah," he replied.

Without waiting for further invitation, Kate lifted the tarp and came in, bringing in with her the scent of soap and flowers. It was obvious she had finally washed up and put on some clean clothes. She was wearing a green tank top Sawyer had never seen on her before, but he immediately knew he wouldn't mind if she wore it everyday. It not only brought out her feminine forms, but also her green eyes.

"Hey there," he greeted her with a naughty grin.

Kate smiled, too, before she asked, "What are you doing?"

"I'm hiding the guns," he told her, his jaw clenching as he thought about Jack.

To his surprise, Kate seemed uncomfortable and looked away.

"What?" he asked a bit coldly, bracing himself for the words he was afraid to hear.

Kate took a deep breath before looking at him again.

"Jack already knows about the guns," she began, knocking the wind out of Sawyer. "I told him."

"What??" he exploded. "Why would you do something so stupid?!"

"He asked me if I knew about the gun you had and I said yes," she replied, trying to stay calm. She seemed torn between irritation and disbelief at his attitude. "Then I told him that, in fact, we had a fourth one."

Sawyer knew he was making a huge mistake as the words rolled on his tongue, but he couldn't help himself. In fact, a part of him appeared to _want_ things to turn ugly between him and Kate.

"I should've known you'd be more loyal to him than to me," he said with disgust.

For a second or two, Kate looked as though she was going to respond, but she didn't. Livid, she got up and exited the tent without a word or a look at him.

Hating himself for reacting that way, but also feeling hurt and betrayed, Sawyer didn't move. He had been so stupid to think she'd chosen him over Jack! He kicked the sand in irritation, but then a thought came into his mind: Jack still hadn't come to him about the guns. Why was that? 

Suddenly wondering if he shouldn't have given Kate the opportunity to explain herself before messing up everything, Sawyer got up and exited his tent just in time to see the woman he loved run into the jungle.

He was trying to decide whether to follow her or not when he heard a voice beside him.

"She's got quite a temper," Hurley commented with a smile as he followed Sawyer's gaze. "Charlie told me how she told Jack to stick it about the guns."

Sawyer turned his head so fast to face Hurley that it was a wonder his neck didn't break.

"What? What did you say?"

Hurley seemed taken aback.

"Huh… well… calm down, dude. Charlie just told me Kate defended you, didn't let you take all the blame for not telling him you had more guns. Then she told Jack you guys were keeping them, not matter what he said." 

"Really?" Sawyer let out, both happy Kate really was on his side and distressed that he had driven her away over false accusations.

"Yes," Hurley continued. "According to Charlie, the look on Jack's face was priceless when she added you guys had a fourth gun!"

"Damn," Sawyer muttered. It was obvious he had some apologizing to do, and that was not something he enjoyed doing at all.

Knowing he better go and talk to Kate right away, Sawyer left Hurley standing there and entered the jungle.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kate was running as fast as she could. She was no fool; she'd done this enough times to know she wasn't only running physically away from Sawyer, but also away from the feelings she had for him.

After a few minutes, she slowed down, out of breath. Sawyer was nowhere in sight. A part of her was disappointed that he'd not ran after her, while the other was relieved he hadn't. She felt so hurt; it was too much to bear. Didn't he get it already? It was pretty clear she had fallen deeply for him, why couldn't he believe her? Why did he always have to worry about Jack?

Deep down she knew the answer to all those questions. In fact, if he hadn't been the one to let his insecurities get in the way, she would probably have let her own stand between them, she couldn't deny it to herself.

So she knew all that, but none of it lessened her pain or anger. So when, a couple of minutes later, she saw Sawyer emerge from the bushes, her features hardened.

"Go away," she told him coldly, trying to ignore how her pulse sped up at the sight of him.

For a brief second, Sawyer seemed disheartened at her reaction. But then he gathered his courage and offered tentatively:

"I… I know you wanted to defend me, Kate. But when it comes to Jack, I'm… I'm…"

"You're an insecure moron," she stated, trying not to see the apology in his eyes. "And I can't take it anymore. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to open up? To be myself? Not to play any game? And then you push me away. Every time you feel insecure or scared. Well, you know what? I'm scared, too," she added heatedly.

Kate locked her eyes into his, and for a moment she was afraid she'd just lost him for good for talking to him so truthfully. But then he looked down, diffident. He was clearly trying to find the courage to actually ask for her forgiveness. While Kate felt her resolve weaken, she wasn't going to help him out. She waited.

"I'm sorry, Kate," Sawyer finally blurted out.

He seemed so nervous; Kate couldn't help finding it cute. Suddenly her resentment vanished and she grinned. Right away she saw his relief.

"Come here, you idiot," she told him, opening her arms to him.

A mischievous smile materialised on his face as he obeyed her and she knew he wasn't going to let her in control for long. In fact, as soon as she wrapped her arms around his neck, his lips crashed over hers in the most passionate kiss they had shared so far. His tongue explored her mouth as his hands roamed all over her body. Kate didn't complain, as she felt a surge of desire invade her whole being. No man had ever made her feel so wanted, so beautiful, so… complete. Forgetting all about their previous argument, Kate abandoned herself to the man holding her, surrendering to the moment. She knew where they were heading, but she wasn't going to stop this. She probably wanted it as much as Sawyer did, if it wasn't more.

"James…" she moaned when he released her lips and started kissing her neck. Her words had the effect of an electric surge on Sawyer, who instantly picked her up. He took a few steps, stopping when Kate's back was against a tree. Feeling as though she was losing any control she had left over herself, Kate attempted to unbutton Sawyer's shirt without ripping it off.

She was starting at the second button when she heard voices and stopped dead. Sawyer had visibly heard it, too, as he carefully put her down. He looked concerned and she saw him reach to his waistband for a gun he didn't have.

"Damn," he mumbled.

"How many times do I have to tell you," they heard a woman's voice say, "there's no such thing as monsters."

"Maybe it was a dinosaur," a man replied. Kate recognised his voice and relaxed.

"It's Nikki and Paulo," she informed Sawyer, who seemed lost, but didn't dare ask his usual question.

"It's not Jurassic Park, Paulo, it's the South Pacific," Nikki said. They were coming their way and Kate sighed. The moment was gone, and a look into Sawyer's eyes told her he realised it, too. Maybe they should give themselves a little more time before getting intimate, considering how difficult the last days had been, emotionally as well as physically.

"This jungle is more crowded than a New York street," Sawyer muttered with irritation, as he re-buttoned his shirt.

Kate smiled lovingly at him and gave him a little kiss.

"Come on," she whispered, "We should get back to the beach."

Sawyer let out a sigh, but he didn't oppose. Disappearing into the bushes, they avoided Nikki and Paulo and made their way back to camp.


	13. Chapter 13

_Hi! Here's the newest chapter. I hope you like it... let me know, okay? _;-)

_Big thanks once again to the wonderful Melinda for proof-reading._

**Chapter 13**

The next week was rather quiet for the castaways. Kate and Sawyer settled into a routine, her picking up fruit for the group while he had taken up the task of chopping wood. Kate had met some very nice people she now considered to be friends, like Sun and Rose. Survivors had begun to get used to Sawyer's nicknames and grumpy attitude at times, but it was clear to Kate that he was making a conscious effort to get along with everyone. She loved him for it and at times she'd go out of her way to reward him with a searing kiss.

They tried to keep their relationship private, though. Neither of them felt comfortable with public displays of affection. Furthermore, they both felt like taking things a bit slower. After all, they had met less than two weeks prior and they were such messed up people that it felt right to keep some kind of distance between them for a while.

About ten days after her disappearance, Locke and Boone had found Claire about a mile from camp, wandering in the jungle at night. She didn't remember a thing about her ordeal. Then Ethan had come to Charlie, ordering him to bring Claire back to him. That's when Jack had decided to move everyone to the caves, and that's where they remained, even though, the previous day, Charlie had shot and killed Ethan when they had caught him in the jungle. Jack felt that there were still Others out there, and that the caves were a natural shelter for all of them. The castaways had complied with his decision, as many questions remained. Was Ethan acting alone? Who were the Others? Where did they hide?

So, they had been at the caves for the last four days and nights. The only people allowed leaving from time to time were Locke to gather food and Sayid to keep the signal fire burning. Occasionally, Sawyer would go and chop some wood at the cave's entrance, but that was all. Kate was beginning to feel trapped and that was a feeling she particularly hated. Plus, she and Sawyer had had virtually no time alone and it was driving her nuts. When it was dark at night, they would slept in each others' arms, but it only made the desire they felt for each other more difficult to ignore.

The sun was setting on what was to become the fifth night at the caves when Kate decided she'd had enough. She needed some time alone with the man she craved, no matter what the risks were. Glancing around, she met Sawyer's gaze and the longing she saw in his blue eyes confirmed her suspicions that he wouldn't object to sneaking away with her.

Remembering a small waterfall she had found while picking fruit, she decided she'd take Sawyer there tonight. The spot was romantic and it would remind them of their first meeting. Unable to stop herself from smiling widely, Kate began planning their 'escape'. She would need someone to know where she and Sawyer were, just in case. Even though her relationship with Jack had improved lately, the last thing she wanted was the doctor searching the jungle for them!

Spotting Hurley a few feet away, looking bored, Kate walked over to him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"James, wake up!"

It took a moment before Sawyer realised he really was hearing Kate whispering in his ear. He opened his eyes, trying to understand what was going on. In the darkness, he saw her looking at him with a smile and he relaxed. No 'Attack of the Ten Foot Others' for tonight, he told himself, relieved.

"What?" he asked grumpily, for good measure. After all, she had just woke him up, hadn't she?

"Meet me outside the caves in two minutes," she told him with a mysterious grin before she got up and disappeared into the shadows.

What was that about? Did she want to be alone with him as desperately as he wanted to be alone with her? Not wanting to get his hopes up, Sawyer grabbed his gun and picked up his pack. After a while on this island, you learned to be prepared for any eventuality.

Trying not to step on any of the sleeping survivors, Sawyer made his way to the caves' exit. There, Arzt and Michael, who had begun building a raft, were standing guard that night. For once, someone was interested in what Arzt was saying about sea currents and stuff, so Sawyer had no trouble sneaking out. He only had time to wonder where Kate was that she materialised by his side.

"Follow me," she whispered as she took his hand in hers.

Withholding his curiosity until they were far enough from camp, Sawyer then stopped.

"What's going on, Freckles? Where are we going?"

Kate merely slowed down, but he could see the smile on her face.

"It's a surprise. A nice one, so relax. We'll be there in a few minutes."

So he followed her silently, enjoying the feel of being alone with Kate. The night was comfortably warm, not too humid for once. He wasn't able to relax completely, though, all his senses in alert for an eventual danger. The last thing he wanted was for Kate and him to end up in a cauldron, surrounded by dancing Others, or as a polar bear's midnight snack.

Finally, the trees opened up before them and, in the dim light the moon offered, he saw the waterfall. It instantly brought him back to the day he had saved Kate from the bottom of the lake. How their relationship had evolved since then! He'd never have believed it if someone had told him he'd one day feel that way about someone.

"So," Kate began, turning to face him with a mischievous smile playing on her lips, "It's nice, huh?"

Grinning naughtily, Sawyer wrapped up his hands around her and pulled her up against his chest.

"Oh, yeah, it's nice," he replied before kissing her neck. "Very nice. But aren't you worried Doctor Do-Right will come looking for you when he finds out we're gone? Could lead to a pretty awkward situation, Cupcake."

"Don't worry," she reassured him, "I've got that situation covered. Hurley knows we're spending the night out. He'll tell Jack if he notices we're gone."

"So, is that what were doing here? Spending the night out?" Sawyer wondered, raising a suggestive eyebrow.

"Well, if you want to, of course. I borrowed Locke's backgammon game. It could be fun," she teased.

"Oh, I know ways to have fun without any board game, Freckles," he drawled. Kate smirked and rolled her eyes, but that didn't stop him from letting his hands sneak under her top. However, instead of feeling her soft skin under his fingers, he had the surprise to touch some silky fabric.

"Wait a second there, Sassafrass," he told her as he took a step back, but not letting her go. He pulled her t-shirt up over her head without her stopping him. In the shadows, he could now distinguish the red babydoll he had given her when they had first found the caves.

"Well, Freckles, I knew you'd look good in the little number, but not THAT good," he approved, looking her up and down.

To his words, he would have expected Kate to kiss him heatedly before undressing him. At least, that was what all the other women did when he'd tell them things like that. But Kate wasn't like those other women, he should've known. Instead, she blushed and briefly looked away, before locking her green eyes with his. In them, he saw that she was waiting for something else, something true.

At that exact second, he felt it, felt just how much, just how deeply he loved her. What they were about to do was something he'd never experienced and he felt she deserved to know it.

Raising his hands to her face, he gently caressed her cheeks.

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, Kate," he said in a low voice, his intense gaze on her.

Kate stood still for a second, searching his eyes. Then, slowly, she leaned in and her supple lips met his.

xxxxx

Later, as they lay in each other's arms between the blankets Kate had brought, Sawyer was lost in his thoughts.

Ever since he'd lost his parents, he'd lived with the sole purpose of avenging them, destroying himself in the process. Meeting Kate had turned everything around. Now he had a reason to live, a reason to be happy. He loved this woman like he didn't think it was possible to love. He knew that he'd do whatever it'd take to protect her; he'd give up his own life if he had to. It wouldn't be such a sacrifice; he'd die without her anyway.

He'd never been so sure of anything, and he needed to tell her.

"Kate, I… You need to know…"

He hesitated, unused to speaking from his heart. Concerned, Kate lifted her head to look directly into his eyes.

"What's wrong, James?" she asked him in a murmur.

"Nothing's wrong, Kate," he replied, wrapping his arms tighter around her. She was so delicate in his embrace; he loved her so much… Suddenly, it felt easier to tell her. "I've never been in love until I met you. I've never ley anyone know the real me the way you do now. I guess… What I'm trying to say is that… I love you," he finally said, unsure of her reaction.

Kate smiled tenderly, but it was obvious she was overwhelmed with emotion.

"I love you too, James. More than you'll ever know," she whispered after a moment, a tear dripping on Sawyer's torso.

In response, he kissed her lovingly, erasing in the process all the doubts, pain, guilt they'd gathered throughout the years.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They didn't sleep much that night, as they tried to take in as much of each other as they could. Who knew when they'd have a chance to be alone like this again? But eventually the sun rose and they knew they'd better go back to the caves soon if they wanted to avoid becoming "the new lead item on the coconut Internet", as Sawyer put it.

The night had been even more magical than Kate could ever have dreamed of. Sawyer loved her, and he had proven it in many ways, she recalled with a coy smile.

But one thing kept coming back to her mind. Sawyer had told her about his conning days, and she wasn't stupid enough to think he hadn't taken many women to bed as a way to get the money he was after. But could she believe him when he said he'd never been in love before? Although being the first would make her feel special, it was hard to believe he'd never known love at all. Even though she hadn't loved them as completely as she loved Sawyer, she'd had real feelings for Tom and Kevin.

Kate knew it wasn't the best of ideas to ask Sawyer about that, but she just couldn't help herself.

"James?" she suddenly said while they walked side by side in the jungle.

"Yeah?" he replied nonchalantly.

"I was wondering… I'm curious. Did you tell the truth last night? About never being in love before?"

It only lasted a fraction of second, but Kate noticed the hesitation in his eyes.

"Yeah," he told her, but he seemed vaguely uncomfortable. Of course telling her about his true feelings had been easier in the darkness, but Kate wondered if there wasn't more to it. And why did she want to know so badly? What difference did it make?

"You don't seem so sure," she told him, trying not to sound bitter.

For a second she thought he was going to send her off harshly, but then his features softened.

"There was a woman I thought I'd loved. If I'd been able to open up to her the way I've opened to you, who knows, maybe it could've been real. But I ruined everything," he said with some regret perceptible in his voice. "Anyway, they're better off without me."

Kate stopped dead; feeling has though she'd been punched in the gut. Sawyer seemed to realise his mistake even before she spoke.

"They?" she wondered, her voice shaky.

Stopping, too, Sawyer cursed under his breath before sighing, exasperated with himself.

"We had a kid," he finally told her, afraid to meet her gaze.

Kate felt paralysed.

"You did?" she was able to muster.

Why did Sawyer having a kid bother her so much? The guy was in his mid-thirties, it wasn't so surprising that he did. Still, Kate felt as though her whole world was falling apart. It was far more difficult for her to swallow that than learning he was a murderer, she though self-derisively.

"It's not like that," Sawyer replied with some irritation, "I've never seen her; I was in prison when Cassidy told me. Kate, it-"

Kate blanched at the mention of the name.

"Cassidy? Her name was Cassidy?"

"Yes… Why?"

"And your daughter… Isn't she around four years old right now?"

"Yes… What…How would you know??"

He was now as pale as Kate was. They had seen strange things on this island, but this was just too much.

"I met her, after I killed Wayne… She helped me… to see my mom… Oh my god, that's impossible!"

"You know her?" Sawyer repeated stupidly, clearly shaken up.

"She still loved you, she told me…" Kate added with visible distress. He had a child and a woman who still loved him out there. What would happen if rescue came? Would she lose him to them? This was just too hard to take. Kate started walking again, away from him.

"Kate, come on, it doesn't change anything!" Sawyer shouted, following her. "I've had four years to go back to her, but I never did! Don't be ridiculous!"

But Kate wouldn't slow down. She needed to think. However she didn't have a chance to, because all of a sudden she found herself face to face with a man caught in a net, up a tree. Stunned, they remained silent until he asked:

"Are you them?"


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 

"Are you them?"

In a flash both Kate and Sawyer had their guns drawn, but the man seemed unarmed. Wearing almost shoulder-length hair, he was in his thirties and wore an overall that must have been white years ago. Although he'd seemed full of hope when he'd first spoken, the look of incomprehension on Kate and Sawyer's faces obviously disillusioned him.

"Them who?" Sawyer growled in response.

"The replacements," the man answered gloomily with a Scottish accent, his hopes crushed. "Then I guess you're hostiles, huh?" he added, defeated.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Sawyer exploded. "You're the hostile! You know perfectly well we were on the plane! "

"What plane?" the stranger replied, taken aback.

"Hey, Bagpiper, you can stop the act. We know you and your little friends took Claire. And you'll pay for it, just like Ethan did!"

"Ethan? What the hell are you talking about?!" the Scotsman replied, irritated.

"Hey, why don't I-" Sawyer started, fuming, only to be interrupted by Kate's hand on his forearm. In her eyes, he could see she wanted him to calm down. Although still fuming, he obeyed and let her speak.

"Who are you, then?" she asked tranquilly.

"My name's Desmond," he replied, speaking fast. "I ended up here about three years ago, ended up pushing the button down the hatch. Now, if you're not going to kill me, then I suggest you get me out of this net and let me go back to my duty."

"And why should we believe you?" Sawyer snorted.

"Because if you don't, we're all going to die," Desmond replied, urgency lacing his voice.

"How?" Kate wondered. Her brow was furrowed.

"There are major electromagnetic fluctuations emanating from this island. The hatch was a laboratory where scientists could work to understand them. Then there was a leak and since that time, every 108 minutes, the button must be pushed. If it isn't, the charge gets too big and you can only imagine what would happen," he explained.

Kate and Sawyer exchanged a look, wondering what to do. Sawyer, for one, didn't trust the guy at all. If he was anything like Ethan, the man was cunning and this could very well be a trap. Maybe he wanted to exchange them for Claire?

"I say we take him down and torture him into telling us about his little friends," he murmured for Kate's benefit.

"I say we take him to J-… to camp," she told him.

"And I say you should make up you mind now," Desmond intervened. "There isn't much time left."

Kate turned to Sawyer, resolve written all over her face, and he knew it was useless to try to fight her.

"I'll take him down," he sighed, aiming at the rope holding the net as he spoke.

From the corner of his eye, he noticed Kate wanted to say something before changing her mind. She probably thought she was the only one who could do this, he thought to himself, recalling how she'd cut the rope that had almost killed Charlie.

So he shot. And missed.

Cursing under his breath, he aimed again, ignoring the grin on Kate's face. Why did he have to fall for a woman who could outdo him in everything men usually were superior at?

He finally shot again and, this time, Desmond brutally fell on the floor. Glancing at Kate with a pleased smirk, he then instructed her to keep her own gun pointed at Desmond while he freed him.

She didn't object and a minute later Desmond's hands were tied behind his back and they were heading to the caves.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As soon as the threesome arrived, Jack, Sayid and Locke approached. The rest of the castaways looked on from afar, letting their leaders take the matter into their hands.

"What's going on?" Jack asked Kate and Sawyer as he walked up to them.

"You?!" Desmond exclaimed as soon as he saw Jack.

"What, you know him, Jack?!" Kate managed to let out. But after what she'd just learned about Cassidy, she wondered why she was so surprised.

"I… I saw him once… In Los Angeles… we were running…" the doctor replied, clearly stunned. "Where did you find him?" he was able to muster.

"In the jungle, about two miles from here. He was caught in a net," Kate explained.

"He says he lives in a hatch and he needs to go push some kind of button…" Sawyer completed. "He's either nuts or he's working with the Others, if you want my opinion."

"There's hardly anytime left!" Desmond intervened with agitation. "You've got to let me go back to the hatch, or it's the end for us all!"

"The hatch?" Locke asked.

While Desmond quickly told the others what he'd already explained to Kate and Sawyer about the hatch, the electromagnetic anomaly and the code he needed to enter, Kate stole a glance at Sawyer. He didn't seem to be paying them more attention then she was, probably as troubled with the revelations about his ex-girlfriend as she was. What would happen when the rescue team came, if it did? She'd be sent to prison and Sawyer would go back to Cass and their little girl, she feared.

"Look, if you want us to trust you, to take you back there, you're going to tell me how you got here," Jack demanded, trying to make sense of it all.

Desmond sighed deeply, clearly frustrated that no one understood the urgency of the matter, but complied anyway. He didn't have much choice after all.

"It was 3 years ago. I was on a solo race around the world, and my boat crashed into the reef, and then Kelvin came."

"Kelvin?" Locke wondered.

"Kelvin," Desmond confirmed. "He comes running out of the jungle, 'hurry, hurry, come with me'. He brings me down the hatch. The first thing he does, because there's beeping already, he types in the code, he pushes the button, and it stops. 'What was all that about', I say. Just saving the world, he says."

"Saving the world?" Jack snorted.

"His words, not mine. So I started pushing the button, too. And we saved the world together for a while, and that was lovely. Then Kelvin died, and now here I am all alone. The end," Desmond told them, sarcasm evident in his voice.

"So you didn't know about the crash? About us?" Jack asked with obvious disbelief.

"I push this button every 108 minutes. I don't get out much."

"So, these replacements?"

"Kelvin died waiting for his replacements."

"You don't get out, you don't see anyone. Where does your food come from?"

Now Desmond was exasperated.

"Listen, I'd love to stay and chat, but if we don't go now, it's over for us all. Not that it's such a bad idea, but maybe not everyone would agree."

"Why should we take your word for it? Prove it."

At first it looked as though Desmond was going to just strangle Jack, but then something seemed to dawn on him.

"Okay, then. You said you were on a plane… Did you crash on September 22nd?"

"You lied to us! You knew it after all!" Jack exclaimed.

"Let him talk, Jack," Locke said calmly.

"I had no idea you'd crashed here. But now I think I know how, why it happened."

"Really?" Jack let out with a self-righteous smile.

"I think I crashed your plane."

Locke raised an eyebrow.

"How did you manage to do that?"

"The last time I was late on pushing the button… There a timer. It's counting down. On that day, September 22, those numbers turned to hieroglyphics. And when the last one came down the whole hatch started to shake. The computer screen filled up with "system failure," September the 22nd, 2004, the day your planed crashed. It's real! It's all bloody real!! Now you've got to let me push the damn button!"

This last revelation seemed to convince Jack that he had to at least go and check it out.

"Okay. Locke and I are going to take you to the hatch. But don't think about double-crossing us," he warned the Scotsman.

"I could check the communication equipment, see if there's any way of communicating with the outside world," Sayid suggested.

"I want to go, too," Kate said with a sideway glance at Sawyer.

"Then I'm coming along," Sawyer growled.

But Jack shook his head.

"No, Sawyer, we need you to stay here, protect everyone in case anything happens."

For a second or two it looked as though he was going to get angry, but after a look at Kate he seemed to calm down. Did he feel the same need as she did to be apart for a little while? Kate finding out about Cassidy and their daughter must have shaken him up, too.

"He's right, James," she told him. "We'll be back in no time, don't worry, okay?" she

Although he clearly was worried, Sawyer didn't object. Kate smiled at him and briefly squeezed his hand before she followed the others.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sawyer was pacing. Kate and the men had been gone for a while. They should be at the hatch by now.

He should have insisted on going with them, he told himself, crazy with worry. Why did he have such a bad feeling? It wasn't the first time Kate had gone on a trek without him, although it was a first since they'd been together.

Nah, he was being silly, he tried to convince himself. After all, Kate was with the A-team and something told him that Desmond was telling the truth. They'd push the button, look around a bit and come back. Figuring reading would calm him down until then, Sawyer opened his bag to find a book.

It was right at that moment that the ground started to vibrate and the sky turned purple.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

He thought he'd screamed but no sound had escaped his mouth.

He thought he was running towards the blast, but his feet hadn't moved an inch.

But when a piece of metal fell from the sky, almost hitting him, Sawyer finally got moving. His heart beating wildly, he ran into the jungle, trying to focus on following the group's tracks.

This couldn't be happening, he told himself repeatedly. Surely they hadn't had time to reach the hatch before the explosion. Kate was fine, she had to be. He hadn't fallen in love for the first time ever to have it ripped away from him.

Trying not to think about what could be awaiting him, he clenched his jaw and ran faster.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After what seemed like an eternity, the smoke became denser and Sawyer knew he was getting closer. The leaves and bushes had obviously been exposed to intense heat and an uneasy feeling grew inside him.

"Kate!!!" he called repeatedly, but only a cruel silence surrounded him.

Finally, he saw it. The gaping hole in the jungle floor, all that was left of what Sawyer could only assume had been the hatch. No one was in sight. Sawyer tried to push away the thought that there was no way anyone could have survived this blast, but he could find no rational reason to hope for the best. It had never amounted to anything in the past; nothing had ever turned out the way he hoped. He had to accept it. She was dead.

He fell to his knees and for the first time since he was eight, he let the tears fall freely on his cheeks. Soon sobs wrenched his body as he kneeled there, helpless. Kate was gone. Gone, there was no way around it.

He suddenly felt overcome with rage and clenched his fists. He should've known it couldn't be. He wasn't made for happiness, it was all too clear to him now. Meeting Kate, falling in love with her then losing her, had been the final blow. Now there was only one thing to do, one thing he should've done long ago.

Sawyer slowly reached for the gun tucked under his belt. As his fingers wrapped around it, the memory of Kate telling him she loved him invaded him. He couldn't go on without her, it was clear to him. He had vowed to protect her, but he had failed like he had failed at everything else in his miserable life.

His jaw clenched and his eyes still filled with tears of pain, Sawyer raised his gun to his head.

"There's no need to do that, brother," a voice suddenly said from behind him.

Desmond! Sawyer slowly lowered his arm, his pulse racing, trying to process this new information, what it meant. If Desmond was alive, then there was a chance Kate was too! Turning around quickly, Sawyer was briefly disappointed to see Desmond was alone, but his disenchantment was soon replaced with surprise as he realised the Scotsman was completely naked.

"What happened?" he managed to ask.

"We arrived too late," Desmond explained as he ran a filthy hand through his hair. "The countdown had reached zero and everything was shaking. I went down to turn the failsafe key and the hatch seems to have imploded."

"Where's Kate?" Sawyer asked forcefully as he got up, wiping his face with his sleeve. No need for Desmond to see the remnants of his moment of weakness.

"Don't worry, she's okay. She's by the big rock over there," Desmond reassured him, indicating a spot about 40 feet from where they were.

Sawyer exhaled loudly upon hearing Desmond's words, immensely relieved. Kate was okay! But… how did he know she was? Why wasn't he with her if he'd found her? And why the hell was he naked? But right now these questions weren't important. He desperately needed to find Kate and hold her.

"I'm going to find her. You coming?" he asked the Scotsman.

"Erm… not like this, brother," Desmond replied, referring to his nakedness.

Rapidly, Sawyer took off his shirt and threw it to Desmond.

"Now show me where she is."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Kate! Kate, wake up!"

Kate opened her eyes and at first the sun blinded her. After a second, she could see Sawyer leaning over her, his worried eyes searching hers. She couldn't remember where she was and even less why she was there, but judging from Sawyer's expression something awful must have happened. Her whole body hurt, but it wasn't until she caught the sight of a shirtless Desmond that she remembered the explosion.

When Locke, Sayid, Jack, Desmond and herself had reached the hatch, the alarm had already been sounding. It'd been too late to enter the code and Desmond had rushed over to the bookshelves, urging them to leave before the hatch exploded. Holding a book and a key, Desmond had explained he was going to blow the dam, then he disappeared inside a trap, into the floor.

Kate remembered running out, closely followed by Jack. The second she had stepped outside, there had been a blinding light and that was the last thing she recalled.

"Are you okay??" Sawyer asked urgently as he ran his large hand over her hair and cheek. He seemed frantic and Kate wanted nothing other than to reassure him.

"I feel like I've been ran over by a truck," she joked, grabbing and then squeezing his hand. "But aside from that I'm fine, don't worry," she added as she proceeded to slowly sit up.

She wasn't even done that Sawyer suddenly pulled her into his embrace. Holding her tightly, he whispered:

"Don't ever do that to me again, Kate. You don't know… I almost…" His voice broke and he couldn't finish, but she didn't need him to. Tears gathering in her eyes, she realised just how much she meant to him. He needed her as greatly as she needed him.

"I'm not going anywhere, James, ever," she murmured into his ear, emotion lacing her voice. "I'll always come back to you, I promise."

In response, Sawyer pulled his head back and for a second their eyes locked. Seeing such obvious love in his, Kate felt overwhelmed. Her love for him was so intense, so immense that it almost hurt. Simultaneously leaning in, their lips met for a burning kiss until they heard voices coming.

Jack and Locke were calling for the rest of the group.

"I'll go and tell them you're okay," an uncomfortable Desmond told them, glad to get an excuse to leave them alone.

As he left, Kate finally noticed that the Scotsman was only wearing Sawyer's shirt, tied around his waist. She looked at Sawyer quizzically, searching for an explanation.

"It seems the explosion blew off his underwear," Sawyer chuckled, soon imitated by Kate. "Too bad the same didn't happen to you," he then commented with a naughty grin.

Kate playfully punched his shoulder in response and he gave her a big dimpled smile. He was so handsome and she loved him so much she would have ripped the rest of his clothes off his body then and there if she hadn't been worried about Sayid. Had they found him yet? Had he been as lucky as the rest of them had been?

"We should go and help them find Sayid," she said, reluctantly leaving the warmth and safety of his arms.

Sawyer didn't object, and got up too. But as she was turning away, he grabbed her hand. He was holding it so firmly it almost hurt, but Kate didn't complain as they walked away.

She was just grateful to have a man like him to love her.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Only a couple of hours later, Kate and Sawyer were relaxing on the beach, sharing his airplane seat. Upon finding an uninjured Sayid, the group had returned to the caves only to find that a group of survivors had decided to go back to the beach. The caves were beautiful, but crowded. People missed their tents, the closest thing they had to a home. Finally agreeing they were in no immediate danger, Jack decided that it was time to move out.

Now not caring one bit if people witnessed their displays of affection for one another, Kate and Sawyer were lounging there, his arms around her, her head resting on his chest. They didn't talk much, just enjoying each other's presence.

Pointing her chin at Michael working on his raft, Kate suddenly broke the silence.

"Maybe we should help him and get ourselves two spots on the raft," she suggested not so flippantly.

"Why would he take you along?" Sawyer replied with a teasing smile. "You can't cook. And do you even know how to sail?"

"Hey!" she exclaimed, shoving him playfully. "I do know how to cook, and I happen to be pretty good at sailing. I spent a few summers down in Florida with my father. He had a sailboat and he taught me everything I needed to know."

"Impressive," Sawyer commented, truly amazed. Did she know how to do everything?

But after almost losing her today, he wasn't keen on the idea of her risking her life again. What did they have to gain in leaving the island anyway? If they went back to the real world, the feds would go after her again. Since rescue wasn't coming any time soon and the raft had only slim chances of reaching dry land, why risk everything?

"We're not risking our lives on that thing, Freckles," he told her, his features serious.

Probably reaching the same conclusion he had, Kate didn't argue. Seconds later, noticing Sun gesturing in her direction, she sat up.

"I've got to go. I told Sun I'd help her reclaim her garden. After almost a week at the caves, there'll be a lot of work to do there."

Sawyer sighed, trying to look pissed when in fact he loved how she couldn't stay still.

"Can't you ever relax a bit?" he whined with a teasing smile. "Enjoy the beach? I'm free for a little afternoon delight, you know," he added with a seductive wink.

Kate chuckled.

"I'll be back in a couple of hours."

"Well, in the meantime, try not to need rescuing, because I'm going to take a little nap. I didn't get that much sleep last night, you know."

"Are you complaining?" she retorted.

He didn't answer and they shared a mischievous smile, recalling the details of the previous night. Sawyer's body temperature was rising at the mere memory.

"Go," he said at last, pushing Kate off the airplane seat. If she wasn't going to stay, then there was no point in getting all worked up.

Smiling, Kate kissed him lightly before walking over to Sun.

It took a while for the grin to disappear on Sawyer's face. For the first time in many, many years, he was happy and was allowing himself to enjoy it. All thanks to Kate.

He felt tired, but he just couldn't relax enough to sleep. Kate was out in the jungle, and Sun certainly wasn't going to protect her against an eventual Other! Knowing her, Kate wouldn't be happy either if he joined her at the garden. She took pride in her ability to take care of herself.

So what could he do while she was gone? He just couldn't stay there waiting for her, worrying she wouldn't come back. He had to do something or he'd go crazy. So he decided to go and chop some wood, as had become his habit.

He grabbed a bottle of water and the axe that he kept by his tent before turning to go. He was startled to find Desmond standing in front of him.

"I wouldn't go if I were you, brother. Not today," a now fully dressed Desmond told Sawyer.

Sawyer raised a surprised eyebrow.

"Why not, Scotty?" he asked a bit coolly. The guy was a little weird to say the least, and Sawyer still wasn't sure he could be trusted.

"Because… you're going to get hurt."

"And how would you know that, Professor Trelawney?" Sawyer quipped, "The same way you knew Kate was fine?"

For a second Desmond seemed to hesitate, but then he looked as though all he wanted was to run away from the Southerner.

"I just… I just do, okay? Do what you bloody want to do but remember I've warned you!" he exclaimed before he stalked away, leaving a puzzled and somewhat annoyed Sawyer. Why did Desmond try to convince him not to go into the jungle? Were his islander friends up to something? And how the hell had he known where Kate had landed after the explosion?

James Ford had never been a man who did what he was told, especially when he had no reason to do so. So he gave Desmond's retreating form one last look before he made his way into the jungle.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Sawyer had been chopping wood for over an hour, and so far he was doing perfectly fine. A few more swings of the axe and he would be done, he thought with a sly smile. Not that it came as a surprise, but Desmond had been totally wrong when he had predicted he'd get hurt.

Smiling at the prospect of going back to Kate soon, he quickly finished chopping the tree. He then gave it a little push so it'd fall down. But right as the tree began to fall, a juvenile voice sounded in the jungle nearby.

"Vincent!! Come here boy!! Vincent!"

It was Walt, Sawyer realised. A second later, he saw Vincent jumping out of the bushes, followed immediately by his young owner. In horror, Sawyer took in the fact that Walt was standing right under the falling tree.

"Look out!" he yelled, frantic.

Walt froze, his eyes glued on the tree over him. Not taking the time to think, Sawyer dove to push Walt out of the way, doing his best impression of a baseball player sliding home. A fraction of second later, the tree loudly fell to the ground. For a short while, Sawyer was relieved. He had saved the kid. But then he felt a searing pain coming from deep within his left leg. He tried to move it, but stopped quickly as the pain only intensified. He realised then it was pinned to the ground by the tree.

Sawyer screamed in pain and frustration, before sitting up and desperately trying to free himself, despite the further agony movement caused. But he couldn't do it.

"Are you okay, Mr Sawyer?" Walt wondered, looking scared.

"Do I look okay?!" he couldn't help yelling. "Go get Jack!" he urged the 10 years old.

Followed by his dog, Walt left in a hurry, running back to the beach. His face contorted with pain, Sawyer let himself fall to the ground. His leg was probably broken, he figured, despaired. But despite the overwhelming pain, a disturbing thought drifted to the forefront of his mind, where he knew it would haunt him until long after the pain had faded to mere memory.

Desmond had been right. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After almost two hours of working at the garden, Kate was getting restless. She longed to go back to Sawyer, and it was so blatantly obvious that Sun finally chuckled and sent her away to the beach.

Figuring she'd wash up after giving Sawyer a little kiss, she hurried to his tent. As she did, she noticed a few survivors stealing glances at her, amongst them Hurley. Puzzled, she was about to walk up to him when he looked away uncomfortably. An uneasy feeling growing inside her, she moved to rush to Sawyer's tent when there was a commotion at the other end of the beach.

Followed by Walt, Jack and Michael were coming out of the jungle, carrying a stretcher. Her heart skipping a beat, Kate recognised Sawyer's blond hair on it. She only breathed again when she saw him turn his head to look at her, giving her a faint smile.

Worried about what she was going to learn, Kate hurried towards the men.

xxxxx

Sawyer saw Kate moving towards them, clearly worried about him. He offered his best smile, but the painkillers Jack had given him still hadn't reached their full effect and he couldn't help grimacing in pain.

"Hey, Freckles!" he welcomed her when she arrived at his side, trying to sound cheerful.

Since Michael and Jack didn't slow down, eager to put him down, Kate walked alongside the stretcher. Her gaze lingered on his strapped leg.

"What happened?" she asked in concern as she grabbed his hand.

"It's nothing," Sawyer replied dismissively.

Kate shot him a disbelieving look, but before she could say anything Michael spoke.

"He broke his leg saving my son's life."

"I did no such thing," Sawyer mumbled grumpily.

Kate and Michael exchanged a knowing look and Sawyer felt the irritation growing inside of him. He wasn't a hero; he left all that to the doc. But when he noticed Kate's admiring gaze, a smidgen of pride emerged inside of him. Maybe… maybe he could get used to seeing that look in her eyes.

The group finally arrived at Sawyer's tent. With Michael and Jack's help, Sawyer was able to sit down in his airplane seat.

"Now, Sawyer, I'll come back later to check on you, give you another painkiller. Don't put any weight on your leg for now," Jack told him.

It wasn't the easiest thing to do for Sawyer, but he knew he had to thank Jack for helping him. He'd been such a pain in the butt for the doctor since they'd met that it was very professional of Jack to take care of him now.

"Thanks, Jack," he managed to say, extending his right hand. Jack looked surprised but shook it before he and Michael left.

Kate sat down by his side and kissed him tenderly.

"Why don't you tell me what happened, James," she then told him.

Sawyer sighed, in no hurry to tell her about his good action, but knowing full well she wouldn't let it go until he did.

"I was chopping down a tree when Mike's kid showed up. The tree would have fell on him if I hadn't pushed him out of the way. The tree fell on my leg instead and now I'm stuck in that chair for weeks," he explained grouchily.

Kate grinned and kissed him again, with more passion this time.

"I guess I'll have to be your nurse, then," she then purred into his ear.

A mischievous smile appeared on Sawyer's face.

"Um… I like the sound of that," he whispered, pulling her closer and capturing her lips.

They kissed lazily for a while, lost in each other, until Kate pulled back.

"Let me go wash up and get my stuff for the night. I'll be back soon."

"That sounds like a plan, Freckles," he replied, letting go of her.

She got up and walked away, leaving an exhausted Sawyer behind. The night had been as busy as the day and if you added the medication Jack had given him… He closed his eyes, planning on finally taking that nap he had given up on earlier.

But as he began to relax, he suddenly heard a voice beside him.

"Hey, man," Hurley said joyously.

"Hey there Jab-…" Sawyer began to say, but he caught himself in time. "… Hurley."

"How's the leg?" the big man wondered.

"Not that bad," Sawyer answered lightly. "Dr Do-Right knows his stuff."

Hurley nodded and remained silent for a couple of seconds, until he finally handed Sawyer a book.

"I found this and since you seem to like reading… and since you'll probably get bored…" he explained, looking a little embarrassed with his good gesture. Or maybe he was worried about Sawyer's reaction?

"Well, that's nice of you, Lar-… Hurley," Sawyer thanked him. He then read the title and looked up incredulously at Hurley. "_'__Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret_'?? Are you kidding me?"

"The reading materiel is pretty scarce here, dude."

Sawyer had to agree with that, so he put the book down on his seat.

"Well, thanks anyway. I'll save it for when I feel like committing suicide."

Hurley made a face before turning around to go, seemingly not too happy with Sawyer's lack of gratitude. Sawyer didn't know where that feeling was coming from, but he felt bad towards Hurley. In a flash, he had an idea to make it up to him.

"Hey! I've got a deck of cards, though. Would you like to play some blackjack?"

xxxxxxxxxx

"Stick? I don't know, dude. Don't you need 21? I think you should hit," Hurley commented after they'd been playing for a while.

"But I've got a 6; I'm going to bust," Sawyer explained.

"How do you know that?"

Trying to muster all the patience he could, Sawyer replied:

"Well, I don't, but you've got to assume that I'm going to bust."

"Why?" Hurley asked, unaware of how exasperating he was being.

Sawyer looked slightly irritated at his last question, but his features grew softer when he noticed Kate coming his way, all cleaned up and carrying her pack. A dimpled smile then lightened his face and he felt a little pathetic to be so glad to see her after she'd been gone only a half hour.

"Hey, Freckles, got everything you need for our pyjama party?"

Before she replied, Kate threw her bag inside his tent.

"Yes," she then said with a grin as she sat down on his lap, careful not to hurt him. "Hey, Hurley. It's nice of you to keep on eye on him for me," she teased.

"I don't need anyone to watch me," Sawyer protested as he put down his cards and wrapped his arms around her.

"So you won't need me to stay with you tonight, then?" Kate said innocently.

"I think you're the one who needs to be with me, Freckles," Sawyer replied as he began kissing her neck.

Kate raised a doubtful eyebrow.

"Oh, you think so?" she asked as she ran her fingers on the bare skin his shirt let exposed.

Sawyer felt a surge of desire and he stopped pretending. Completely unaware that Hurley had got up and left, he kissed Kate as though it would be the last time.

Soon, they left the airplane seat and moved inside the tent.

xxxxxxxx

Sawyer was the first one to wake up the next morning. Despite Kate's welcomed presence, he hadn't slept well. His leg hurt even with the painkillers, and he had been haunted by Desmond's apparent psychic abilities. What if one day Desmond predicted his death? Or Kate's? What if he couldn't save her, just as he hadn't been able to protect her from the blast? He wouldn't be able to walk for weeks, who knew what could happen in the meantime?

At this point in his thoughts, Kate woke up. She kissed him, but he didn't respond the way she thought he would and she pulled back.

"Is everything okay?"

Sawyer hesitated, but he decided he needed to tell her the truth at last. He had no doubt she could handle it and he hated the idea of keeping something from her. So, quickly, he told her how Desmond had known where she was after the explosion and how the Scotsman had warned him about getting hurt while chopping wood.

Kate looked unsettled, but she tried to be rational.

"Have you asked him about it? Maybe he'd seen me and since I seemed okay he went to find some clothes?"

"I don't know. How did he know I'd get hurt, though?" Sawyer countered.

"I have no idea. Some people get premonitions…"

Sawyer wasn't convinced but since he didn't want to worry her, he didn't add anything.

"Let's forget about all this," Kate said. "I'll get you a clean shirt and then I'll help you sit outside."

She started rummaging around his tent for a clean shirt, but couldn't find one.

"When is the last time you did some laundry, James?"

"Last August, Freckles," he replied with an unashamed grin.

"August? Before the crash? Why am I even surprised," she sighed, unable to hide a little smile. "Put this one on. I have some laundry of my own to do; I'll add a few of your shirts. And some underwear," she added holding a a pair of boxers between her thumb and index finger.

Minutes later, Sawyer was sitting outside, enjoying the morning sun. Kate had already gone with the dirty clothes, promising to come back soon with breakfast. That's the moment Desmond chose to come by.

"Here you go, brother," he said as he gave back the shirt Sawyer had lent him the day before.

Sawyer made a disgusted face.

"No thanks. Keep it."

Desmond smiled.

"I washed it, don't worry," he replied before throwing the shirt on Sawyer's lap.

It was the perfect time to ask Desmond about his visions, Sawyer knew. Hesitantly, he began:

"Listen, I… How did you…"

Desmond tensed and Sawyer saw no need to complete his sentence. The man knew exactly what he was implying.

For a long moment, Desmond said nothing and Sawyer though he'd never answer his question.

"I don't know how or why," he said at last. "All I know is that since the explosion, I've been having some kind of visions from time to time. Things that haven't happened yet."

"Have they all come true so far?" Sawyer wondered apprehensively.

The answer soon came, definitive.

"Yes."

For a moment none of the men spoke, both pondering that word and its implications. Suddenly, Desmond stilled.

"What?" Sawyer asked, frowning. When he got no answer, he added, "Did you just have another vision?"

Coming out of his trance, Desmond nodded and, with a big smile, he said:

"We're getting rescued, mate."


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Sorry for the looong delay, but this chapter wasn't an easy one to write. I've got so many things to plan for the rest of the story, I had to make sure I didn't forget anything. I hope you can forgive me and enjoy this chapter. ;-)

**Chapter 17**

"We're getting rescued, mate."

Sawyer felt as though the ground had opened beneath him. His whole world was collapsing.

"Rescue? Are you sure?" he managed to ask faintly.

Unaware of his torment, Desmond nodded cheerfully.

"Yes. And it's coming soon. I had a vision. I saw Claire climbing inside a helicopter. She was still pregnant."

Sawyer didn't know much about any of the castaways, but one thing he knew was that Claire was due any day now. Trying not to let show the panic rising inside him, he asked the question he didn't want to hear the answer to.

"In your vision… did you see Kate?"

"No. I didn't see you either, but it was just a flash, brother," Desmond replied. He was eying Sawyer with curiosity, probably wondering why the Southerner wasn't showing more enthusiasm at the good news.

But Sawyer didn't care what Desmond thought.

He had to find a way to save Kate.

Being the experienced conman that he was, he tried to form a plan. He couldn't. His mind was completely blank. This time it wasn't about some money; it was about the woman he loved. The woman he couldn't live without.

Maybe they could hide in the jungle? How would he follow her, though, with a broken leg? Perhaps they could steal the raft? But it wasn't finished yet and they couldn't wait until it was.

Lost in his thoughts, Sawyer had almost forgotten Desmond's presence beside him and was startled when he spoke.

"Well, I should repair my sailboat while I can, then," the Scotsman announced.

Sawyer's heart stopped.

"Sailboat?" he asked with interest, but as he spoke he remembered Desmond had told them he'd been on a race around the world when he'd crashed on to the island. Suddenly filled with hope, he wondered, "Why repair it if we're going to be rescued?"

"I owe it to the woman who gave it to me. I can't just leave it here like that," Desmond replied pensively.

Trying to act nonchalant, Sawyer asked:

"How long will it take you to fix it?"

"A couple more days and I'll be done. It'll certainly go a lot faster now that I don't have to go back and push the button every 108 minutes," Desmond chuckled before he turned to go.

An idea was beginning to form inside Sawyer's head and the sailboat was going to be a major part of that scheme. But, knowing that any mistakes could mean disaster for him and Kate, he needed more time to think things through. Yet there was one thing he knew: Kate couldn't know about Desmond's vision, or she'd flee somewhere in the deep of the island, vulnerable to polar bears, Others and God knew what else.

"Desmond!" he called. "Don't tell anyone, okay? In case it's not true."

Desmond nodded.

"I won't tell anyone."

xxxx

As she hung the now clean clothes on some branches, Kate couldn't help but smile to herself. Doing Sawyer's laundry was something she was enjoying a lot more than she probably should, being the modern woman she was. But unlike feeling trapped, the way she had been when she playing the role of the perfect housewife with her ex-husband, Kevin, she felt totally happy taking care of Sawyer.

She was his and he was hers.

He was the man she'd never hoped to find. He was the man who'd gotten her to open up, to be her true self. She had never dared to believe that such a thing was possible. But against all odds, she had found such a person on this island.

As she finished hanging the last shirt, she couldn't wait to go back to him. He was like her drug. His smell, his voice, his touch… She couldn't get enough.

"Hey," Jack suddenly said as he reached her side, startling her. "Sorry to surprise you," he added with a grin.

"It's okay," she replied, blushing against her will. "I was just lost in my thoughts."

"So… you're together now, huh?" Jack asked, glancing at Sawyer's clothes.

For a split second Kate's reflex was to lie, but she quickly decided that she had nothing to be ashamed of. No one knew Sawyer the way she did; he was a great human being and he loved her. The rest didn't matter.

"Yes, we are," she confirmed, her gaze never faltering.

"Well, he's a very lucky man. I hope he knows it."

The doctor seemed to have accepted that she and Sawyer had made their choice and Kate smiled. She wished she didn't care about his approval; but sadly that was the kind of person she was. She knew she would have been with Sawyer whether Jack liked it or not, yet she was glad that he didn't hold a grudge against her because she had fallen for the Southerner.

"I'll make sure he does," she replied with a smile.

Jack briefly returned her grin before growing serious again.

"Kate, there's something I need your help with."

"What is it?"

Quickly, Jack told Kate about Rose, who was one of the castaways. Against all likelihood, she was still convinced that her husband, Bernard, had survived the crash and would return to her eventually. Jack was beginning to think that she was in serious denial and was worried about her. Every time he'd talk with her, she would repeat how she'd know if Bernard had died. Maybe Kate could get her to start accepting reality? To start mourning the man she loved?

Although she didn't think she would ever be able to convince Rose to give up hope, she would talk to her. Maybe there was only a slim chance that Bernard was still alive; but if she had been in the woman's situation, Kate would probably have reacted the same way. Sawyer was now her whole life and she could never let go of him.

Suddenly, she had to go back to Sawyer _now_. Life was short and, after almost losing each other twice in the same day, she felt like she had to make the most of every moment with him.

"I'll talk to her later, Jack. Right now I have to go and check on James."

Jack nodded.

"I'll drop by later, see how his leg's doing."

"Thanks, Jack."

Leaving the wet clothes and the doctor behind, Kate hurried towards Sawyer's tent.

xxxxxxxx

It hadn't taken Sawyer long to come up with a plan. He still had to work out the details, but one thing was already clear to him: he couldn't leave the island with Kate.

Totally devastated at the thought, he felt like he couldn't breathe. His desperate mind had tried to find a way around it, but there just wasn't one.

How could he follow her to the boat with a broken leg? His whole plan depended on the authorities' belief that Kate was dead and it would be highly suspicious if he followed her in spite of his leg, before being killed along with her.

No, it didn't work.

For a second he was tempted not to do anything about Desmond's vision. What if he was wrong anyway? He couldn't send Kate on a dangerous journey on the ocean just based on some guy's hallucination, could he?

But deep down inside, he knew Desmond was right. He couldn't miss the only chance he might ever have to get Kate off the island and away from the authorities for good. He knew she'd prefer to take that chance than to spend her life in prison.

Maybe this was his chance to finally repay his past debts? The thought of the separation ahead hurt him beyond words, but Kate's safety and freedom was more important than his own needs. For once in his sad life, he had the opportunity to do something good and somehow it comforted him. Perhaps his falling in love with her had only happened so he'd have a chance to redeem himself by saving her?

And now, watching her walk up to him, smiling, Sawyer wanted to shut his eyes and forget he'd ever met her. That would make things so much easier! But he couldn't look away from her lithe form, as he badly needed to memorize her every move, her every touch.

"Hey," she said as she sat beside him on his plane seat and leaned in for a quick kiss. "I missed you."

Fighting urges both to push her away and kiss her senseless, he could only manage a grunt.

"Are you okay? Are you in pain?" Kate asked, immediately alarmed.

"I'm fine," he replied curtly, unable to stop himself.

"You don't seem fine," she continued, unimpressed with his attitude.

"I said I was okay, so quit asking!" he snapped, immediately regretting it.

"Sorry to bother you," Kate said coldly as she got up to leave.

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her down again.

"I'm sorry, Freckles, I'm going crazy here," he said softly.

Kate smiled at him with affection.

"I know. Why don't you read a book? You like reading."

Sawyer snorted.

"The book I have is hardly tempting."

"Listen, I've got to talk with Rose. Then I'll try to find you a something good to read, okay?"

"Why do you need to talk with her?" he wondered, surprised.

"Jack asked me to talk to her. Her husband was aboard the plane, but he's been missing since then. She's convinced he's alive and that they'll be reunited eventually. Jack thinks she's being delusional."

"That's none of the doc's business. Let her believe if that's what gets her through her day," he mumbled, more to himself than for Kate's benefit.

"I pretty much agree with you. But I promised Jack I'd talk to her, so I will."

"Why does he always want something from you? You don't owe him a thing," Sawyer said grouchily.

"Do you even know how much YOU owe him? You're lucky he was there to take care of your leg," she lectured him, causing him to feel like a child. "Have you even said thank you to the man?"

Sawyer decided it was best not to reply and Kate, not fooled, sighed.

"I'll go and see Rose. I'll be back soon. In the meantime, try not to pick a fight with anyone, would you?"

The way she was looking at him was so full of love that it was almost unbearable to him.

"Okay," he only replied, avoiding her eyes.

Satisfied with his answer, Kate kissed the top of his head and left.

xxxxxxx

As soon as Kate left, Sawyer's mind went to work again.

Now he needed to talk to Desmond. But how would he do that? It wasn't as though he could go to him, or ask Kate to get the Scotsman for him. She'd ask questions and that was the last thing he wanted.

As he was trying to think of a solution, Hurley dropped by, causing Sawyer to withhold a sigh.

"Hey, man. Kate seems to think you'd be interested in another round of blackjack. Are you?"

"No," Sawyer replied grumpily. "I'm tired."

He was in no mood to see anyone and he thought he'd made it abundantly clear to Kate. He needed to think, damn it.

"Okay, dude, I dig you," Hurley replied, shrugging. "I just wanted to help."

At that moment, Sawyer had an idea. Maybe Hurley could get Desmond for him?

"Well, there's something you could do," he told the big man, suddenly being much nicer.

"What?"

Sawyer hesitated. Once he'd set the plan in motion, it would be too late to go back. If Desmond refused to help him, the plan wouldn't work and he'd lose Kate forever.

"Would you… tell Desmond to come and see me when he comes back?"

Hurley looked at him for a second, unsure what to think of his request.

"Yeah, dude, okay," he finally said.

As Hurley walked away, the only thing Sawyer could think of was that the train had now left the station and couldn't be stopped.

He just had to pray everything would go according to plan.

xxxxxx

Sometime later, Kate made her way down to Sawyer's tent once again. She had done what Jack had asked her to do; she had talked with Rose. But she hadn't been able to do what Jack had hoped for. Rose had remained positive her husband was still alive and frankly Kate could only admire her faith. She had such a connection with Bernard that it was as clear as day to her that they would be together again.

As she neared the man she loved, Kate wondered if their own connection was to become as deep as Rose and Bernard's was. If they were ever separated, would they be convinced it was their fate to be reunited? Not planning on ever finding out, Kate chased these thoughts away. They were stuck together on this island probably forever. No point on imagining things.

Passing by Hurley's tent, Kate stopped to talk to him.

"So, he's in no mood for a card game?" she wondered, referring to Sawyer.

"No, he says he's tired," Hurley replied.

Kate sighed, but her affection for the man was obvious to Hurley.

"I just think he hates feeling helpless and being taken care of. I'm not surprised he doesn't want anyone around."

"Well, he wanted to see Desmond, though," Hurley informed Kate, to her surprise.

"What??"

"Yeah, he asked me to send Des his way. I didn't know they were friends already."

Kate didn't add anything and resumed walking. She was intrigued. Why was James so eager to talk to Desmond? Was it because of his so-called visions? She couldn't comprehend why they were so interesting to him. Jack, Locke or Sayid she could understand. But Sawyer wasn't that kind of man.

She was pretty sure something was going on and she was determined to find out what it was.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Intrigued with Sawyer's interest in Desmond, Kate walked up to her lover's tent. What was going on? Was she being overly suspicious? Was she trying to find something wrong with her and James, a reason to put some emotional distance between them?

"All I could find was this," she announced as she waved a Glamour magazine in front of Sawyer. For a second he looked at her as though he had no idea what she was talking about and she added, "You wanted something to read."

"Oh, yeah, it's okay, Freckles. Thanks."

Something was off, but she decided to let go for now. She climbed in the airplane seat with him and began flipping through the magazine.

"Hum… Let's see… 'How well do you really know your man?' There are 10 questions… That should be interesting."

Sawyer showing no reaction, she continued to read.

"What is his favourite superhero? Hum… I'd say… Batman. Am I right?"

"Hum, yeah, sure," he replied, obviously not paying attention to what she was saying. Kate, patient, tried with another question. She was closer to this man than to anyone she's ever known; still, there was so much she didn't know about him, whatever she could learn she'd welcome.

"Do you know the name of his last meaningful girlfriend… well… I guess that must be Cassidy, or was there someone else?"

As soon as the words left her lips, Sawyer seemed to wake up of his trance. He turned to her and stared at her intently.

"Kate… Cassidy. Did you ever know her last name?"

"No, I didn't. But I have a strong feeling we're talking about the same person," she replied, a little puzzled. Was there any doubt left that they'd known the same woman?

"Her name is Cassidy _Philips_," he insisted. "Last time I heard from her, she was living down in Albuquerque with the kid, Clementine."

"Why are you telling me all this? I met her before she even gave birth. I know nothing about her."

"Right," Sawyer let out absently.

Kate was getting unnerved. She hated being kept in the dark about something. And there definitely was something going on with Sawyer.

"Are you okay? I'm starting to think you've got way too much time on your hands to think. And why exactly do you want to see Desmond?"

Sawyer seemed stunned upon hearing her mention Desmond's name and Kate grew angry. How stupid did he think she was?

"Why don't you tell me the truth, for once in your life!" she shouted.

"Aren't you curious about the hatch? Who built it? Where did Desmond get his food? Maybe there's a way to get out of this damn island," Sawyer finally replied, avoiding her eyes.

"Don't you know what's waiting for me out there? If we're rescued?" Kate countered vehemently. Damn! Didn't he know she was a fugitive?

"Of course I know! But if there's a way, I'll find it, Kate. I promise," Sawyer said, now looking at her intensely. Kate felt her heart melt. Was he doing all this for her? Desperately trying to find a way to set her free? Suddenly feeling emotional, Kate leaned in and kissed him. It didn't take Sawyer long to respond and Kate was beginning to think about moving inside the tent when they heard someone clearing his throat.

Taken aback, Kate and Sawyer let go of each other and turned into the noise's direction.

Jack was standing there, holding some homemade crutches.

"Oh, hi Jack," Kate greeted him, trying not to blush. She felt like a teenager whose father caught her making out with her boyfriend.

"Hey… I hope I'm not interrupting," the doctor replied. Not waiting for an answer, he told Sawyer, "I asked Michael to make those for you."

Kate shot Sawyer a meaningful glance. How nice was Jack? Apparently Sawyer understood what she meant, because he said:

"Freckles… there's something I need to tell the doc… Would you mind?"

Kate smiled tenderly. Of course he wasn't comfortable thanking Jack in front of her. But she was proud of the fact that he was slowly beginning to let emerge the goodness inside him.

"Sure," she replied. Before she stood up, she whispered suggestively into Sawyer's ear, "You and I have got some unfinished business."

They shared a grin and she left the men to talk.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As soon as Jack had given him the crutches, Sawyer had realised that the doctor was the final piece to the plan he'd been working on. He'd be his insurance policy; only he had the credibility that would make his scheme work.

But for that, Sawyer first had to convince him that he had to help Kate. To do that, he would have to tread carefully. One wrong word and Kate would live out her life in prison. Strangely, Sawyer felt very calm now that he was prepared to act. He felt as though all of the cons he ever performed, all the people he had ever persuaded to do his bidding, it had only been a preparation for this moment.

All of his life had been leading to this.

"Listen, Jack…" he began. "I need to thank you for taking care of me. I haven't been exactly nice to you since we came here and…"

He didn't complete his sentence, Jack already waving his concern away.

"Forget about it. I'm a doctor. That's what I do."

"Still, you didn't have to go as far as getting Mike to make these," Sawyer continued, glancing at the crutches.

"We're all on the same boat here. If we don't live together, we'll die alone."

"I agree," Sawyer nodded before extending his right hand. Jack shook it before kneeling by Sawyer's leg.

"Are you in any pain?" he wondered.

"I'm okay."

For a moment Sawyer let the doctor do his job, before taking a deep breath and saying:

"Jack, I need to ask you a big favour."

Jack shot him a brief look before letting go of the injured leg.

"What is it, Sawyer?"

"I need your help for something important."

Intrigued, Jack asked:

"Is it about Kate?"

"Yes."

Sawyer paused, carefully choosing his words.

"You need to know that… since the hatch exploded, Desmond has been having some visions."

"Visions?" the doctor repeated doubtfully. "Come on."

"He told me I'd get hurt if I went chopping wood yesterday."

"That doesn't prove anything."

"He also predicted a few other things, Jack. Enough for me to believe him, as crazy as it sounds. And this morning, he saw rescue coming. Soon."

Jack let out a little laugh.

"I'm afraid I don't share your faith."

"Ultimately it doesn't matter, Jack. What does matter is that Kate has to leave the island before rescue comes."

"Why is that?" the doctor wondered, suddenly concerned.

"Because she's a fugitive."

Jack froze, completely stunned. He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it, unable to utter a word. Sawyer knew he had to go on while he was still taking it in.

"I love her, Jack. She's all I ever had. And I'm all she ever had, too. I don't want her to go to prison."

"I don't believe you," Jack managed to say at last.

"It's the truth."

"What did she do?"

"Nothing she'd have done if she'd had a choice. Nothing she'd ever be willing to do again. Believe me," Sawyer told him, his eyes pleading. "She's made mistakes in the past, but she deserves a second chance."

Jack ran his hands across his face, obviously torn between good and bad, between his friendship with Kate and his respect of the law.

"Why me?" he finally said, and Sawyer knew he'd almost won.

"Because the authorities will believe you if you say she died."

"Sawyer, I'm not sure… How will you get her out of here anyway? We've tried everything and…"

"There's a way. All I need you to do is to pretend you saw Kate being killed. Leave the rest to me."

Jack sighed and for a long moment he stared at the ocean. Despite his confidence, Sawyer was beginning to get nervous. What if Jack backed out?

Ultimately, he turned to Sawyer and stared at him intensely. Then he spoke the words Sawyer had hoped to hear.

"I'll help you."

xxxxxxxxx

He wished he could stop time.

Ever since Jack had agreed to help the previous day, things had gone really fast.

Jack had talked to Desmond, who had decided to assist them in their plan. All he'd told Jack was that he knew how hard it was to be kept away from the woman one loved. Sawyer felt immensely grateful for their decision to help, but he just didn't know how to tell them. There had been so few events in his life for which he was grateful; he had no idea how to express his thanks. How could he ever let them know what their participation meant to him?

Back when he'd first agreed to help, Desmond had been convinced that the sailboat would be ready to go by the next evening.

To Sawyer's despair, he'd been right.

Now he was spending his last moments with Kate, who was asleep in his arms. They'd just made love, and he couldn't help but be afraid that it was to be for the very last time. A lot of things could go wrong. She could perish at sea, but that was a scenario Sawyer couldn't bear to dwell on. She could also be caught and go to jail for the rest of her life.

But the possibility that she could decide not to return to him was the most frightening of all to him. Did she really love him as much as he loved her? When she was back in civilisation and free to go wherever she wanted, would she decide that he truly was the one man she wanted to be with?

Come on, you're being ridiculous, he told himself. She loved him. If the way they'd just been intimate was any indication of their true feelings, he had nothing to fear. The way she had responded to every touch, the way she had looked so amorously at him… It was still amazing to him how, even though the moves were familiar, he'd never experienced anything close to the way being with her made him feel. The cold and lonely life he'd led before finding her wasn't something he wanted to go back to.

His plan HAD to work.

Unable to tear his eyes from her sleeping form, powerless to remove his hand from her soft hair, Sawyer looked back on everything that'd changed for them since they'd met, less than a month ago. He smiled as he remembered how she'd tried to lose him after he'd saved her. Repressed a shudder when he recalled how close they'd come to ending up like the pilot. Got teary-eyed as he relived the first time she'd told him she loved him.

Meeting her had changed him profoundly. In a way, he regretted how well he used to be able to shut himself off any unwanted feelings. The next months without her would be torture, he was painfully conscious of it.

She was leaving the next morning, he kept telling himself, his breathe hitching in his throat at the thought. Everything was ready; everything she would need had been placed inside the sailboat. Money, clothes, food, along with a letter he'd written to her while she'd been away doing more laundry.

Closing his eyes only for an instant, he tried to memorize both her scent and the way her body felt pressed alongside his. Tried to engrave the sound of her breathing into his memory. Opening his eyes again in the darkness, he learned by heart the pretty picture she painted.

He didn't sleep at all that night.

xxxxxxxxxx

Kate was awoken suddenly the next morning, her lungs craving oxygen. Gradually coming to her senses, she realised the feeling was caused by Sawyer's arm wrapped too tightly around her mid-section. She grinned, happy. The night had been… intense, to say the least. She'd had the opportunity to get a glimpse of just how deep his love for her went, as well as one of how profoundly she loved him in return. How lucky was she, to have found a man like him? She still didn't think she deserved him, but she was beginning to accept that he was here to stay.

For a second she closed her eyes again, just enjoying the feel of his body against hers. But she really did have to breathe. Careful not to wake him up, she took his hand in hers and tried to lift it. But she was unsuccessful, as he grunted and tightened his hold on her.

"James, I can't breathe," she chuckled.

"Not my problem," he mumbled.

"If you don't let go, I'm going to have to hurt you, you know," Kate replied with amusement lacing her voice.

There was a silence before Sawyer spoke again.

"Kiss me," he just said, his voice raspy and deep.

Still smiling, Kate turned to face him. She was surprised by the intensity in his eyes. Usually, she'd have seen playfulness in them. Why was he so serious?

His lips meeting hers stopped her train of thoughts. For a long moment they just revelled in the feel of each other, oblivious to the outside world. Then Sawyer's stomach growled and Kate laughed.

"I better get us something to eat."

She waited for a second for Sawyer to say that what he was hungry for wasn't food, but instead he sighed and finally let her go. He turned to rest on his back and stared at the ceiling.

Kate found his behaviour a little odd; but she didn't want to ruin what was still a pretty nice morning by asking questions. She fumbled in her bag, looking for some clean clothes she couldn't find.

"Have you seen my green top? It's not in my tent either. My clothes all seem to have disappeared lately," she said, watching him suspiciously. Was he progressively hiding all of her clothes, waiting for the day she'd have to walk around in her underwear?

Once again she didn't see on his face the cocky grin she'd have expected.

"Didn't see it," he just replied, still not looking at her.

Kate sighed inwardly. She knew she'd better get out of there before things turned downright ugly. She hurriedly put on the same clothes she'd been wearing the previous day and stood up.

"I'll come back with some fruit. Then I'll help you sit outside."

"Fine," he replied, his eyes meeting hers for a second. He seemed sad somehow and Kate wondered if she'd done something wrong. Thinking back on the last few minutes, she couldn't find anything. She sighed. Why did their relationship have to be so complicated?

Exiting the tent, she was met by the morning sun rising over the ocean. The sight was beautiful and for maybe the thousandth time she told herself she could have ended up somewhere a lot worse. Yes, she'd been though some very frightening times on this island. The pilot's death, Claire's kidnapping… but still she felt at home here.

Heading into the jungle, she found a mango tree that hadn't been picked clean yet and she climbed it. She felt more alive and free than she had since Sawyer's accident. She loved him and felt good taking care of him. But she missed the action, the adventure of the first weeks on the island.

Kate climbed down the tree with her mangoes and walked back to the beach. Seeing Jack and Desmond talking, she felt totally out of the loop. Desmond had been living inside a hatch for three years, a hatch built for some scientific research. That alone raised many questions but lately she'd been so focused on James that she had let Jack, Locke and Sayid to try to find out more. She didn't regret it; but she was beginning to miss the action.

Upon noticing her, Jack said something to Desmond who shot her a quick glance and nodded. Jack left the Scotsman and walked up to her. She stopped, waiting for him to catch up.

"Hey, Kate."

"Hi, Jack," she greeted him. Upon noticing his concerned expression, she added, somewhat hopefully, "Is there something going on?"

"Desmond says he'd been told by Kelvin, the man he'd been pushing the button with, that there was a medical hatch somewhere on the island. Not too far from here. He thinks he could find it."

Kate felt her excitement growing.

"Then we should go. Maybe we could find something useful."

"That's what we've figured out. Desmond and I are leaving in a few minutes."

"I want to go with you, Jack."

Jack nodded, but wondered:

"What about Sawyer?"

Kate glanced in the direction of his tent. Sawyer was lying in his chair, reading a book. She wouldn't be gone that long, she told herself. He would keep on reading and would barely notice she wasn't there anyway.

"He'll manage without me for a while," she replied.

"Okay then. Meet me at my tent in ten minutes."

"Okay."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Stealing a glance at Jack and Kate, he saw her nod. She'd accepted Jack's offer to find the hatch.

Everything was going according to plan. And his heart was breaking.

Now she was coming towards him for their last instants together. He was hurting so much that, in a way, her departure would be a relief. Plus he was getting worried. Rescue could come any minute and she needed to be far away when that happened.

"Hey you," Kate said when she reached his side. He briefly lifted his eyes off the book he was pretending to be reading, but quickly looked down again. She was just too damn beautiful, cheeks a little flushed and her hair down. He already missed her like crazy.

"Here, I brought you a mango."

From the corner of his eye he could see her handing him the fruit, but he didn't make a movement to take it. Instead, he said grumpily, "I'm not hungry."

He heard her sigh deeply as she put the mango on his lap and he just hated himself. He wished he'd been able to be the man she loved until the last second, but it was just too painful.

"Why won't you look at me?" she questioned, sounding defensive.

"This book is too good," he replied curtly.

Kate bent down a little to look at the title.

" '_Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret_'? Are you kidding me?"

"What did Jack want?" he asked in hope of speeding things up a little. If she stayed too long he might just call the whole plan off.

"Desmond and Jack are looking for some medical hatch that's apparently on the island. I'm going with them," she replied with determination.

Sawyer stayed quiet and Kate probably interpreted his silence as a sign of worry, because when she spoke again her voice was much softer.

"Don't worry. I'll be careful."

Not waiting for an answer, she kissed him lightly on the lips and started to turn around to go. But Sawyer, acting on an impulse, grabbed her wrist, stopping her movement. He pulled her close and crashed his lips against hers in a fervent kiss. She seemed surprised at first, but then he felt her abandon herself to him. He wished they'd never have to breathe; he wished they didn't have to part. But they did and when she pulled away he didn't stop her. He didn't have the strength to, anyway.

"I love you," he only managed to murmur, his eyes locked into hers.

"I love you, too, James," she replied tenderly, running her hand on his cheek. He briefly closed his eyes, savouring her contact. "I'll be back before lunchtime, okay?" she added.

He nodded and she walked away. He followed her with his weary eyes, feeling as though she was literally taking his heart with her.

And when she turned around to take one last look at him, he was glad she was far enough not to see the tears in his eyes.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19 

Kate had been following Jack and Desmond through the jungle for almost an hour. The group had remained silent for most of the trek, but the quietness didn't bother Kate. Since leaving the beach, she'd regretted not staying with Sawyer. It had obviously worried him to see her go, and she wished she hadn't been so selfish and had stayed with him. Several times, she'd almost turned around and gone back to camp. But she wasn't sure how Sawyer would react if she returned for these reasons, as he hated to show any sign of weakness.

So she'd kept on following the men, pushing the thought of her lover aside. And now, she sensed that something was off: Desmond seemed to know exactly where he was going. How could that be possible?

"Do you know where the hatch is?" she finally asked Desmond.

"No," he replied. It sounded to Kate like he'd hesitated a moment before he'd answered.

"You seem to know exactly which way to go," she continued.

Now, she wasn't dreaming: Jack and Desmond exchanged a glance as they kept on walking. They must have reached a silent agreement, because Jack briefly looked at her and said:

"That's because we're not going to the medical station."

Kate was taken aback. What was going on? Her heart began beating faster. Jack had lied to her and it was something she'd have never expected.

"What?! What do you mean? Where are we going?!"

"We're there," Desmond announced at this moment, and the trees opened before them. The threesome stopped. In front of them were the ocean and… a sailboat.

"A sailboat? What… is that what you wanted to show me?" Kate managed to ask, completely stunned.

"Yes," Jack confirmed, looking gravely at her.

"How…" Kate began, before stopping. A million thoughts were swirling around her mind.

"It's the boat I was sailing on when I came crashing here three years ago," Desmond informed her. "I just finished repairing it."

"Then it means some of us can leave and get rescue?"

Although she tried not to let it show, Kate was terrified. Rescue meant the end of her love affair with Sawyer, the end of her freedom. The end of her dreams.

"There won't be any need for that. Rescue is already coming, Kate," Jack said gently.

She thought she was going to faint. Rescue was on its way? Would she even have time to go back to Sawyer and say goodbye? Because she would stay here. Never would she let him see her behind bars. Jack had no idea what the implications were of what he'd just said.

"Coming? How come?" she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Kate, there's a lot we need to tell you," Jack told her soothingly, putting a hand on her shoulder. "But first, you've got to know that Sawyer told us about you. About your past."

"What?!"

Kate was horrified. How could Sawyer do a thing like that? Tell Jack and Desmond her darkest secret?

"He told Des and me about your fugitive status," Jack continued. "He told us because he's hatched a plan to let you escape this island before rescue comes."

"But how would you know about any rescue team? Did Sayid find a way to transmit a message?" Her logical mind was working fast, trying to find any flaw she could in Jack's discourse. Rescue couldn't be coming, it was impossible.

"I've been having visions lately, Kate," Desmond replied. "I saw rescue coming before Claire gives birth."

Kate snorted. She suddenly felt relieved.

"So all this, it's all based on some hallucination? I can't believe James fell for it," she laughed as she turned to go back to the beach. But Jack stopped her.

"Rescue is coming Kate. And your only chance at freedom is to get on that boat and sail as far as you can. When the authorities come, we'll tell them you're dead."

"It would never work. They'll get suspicious when they learn James and I died together."

"Kate," Jack said softly, looking his eyes into hers. "Sawyer's not leaving with you. You need to leave now."

Kate blanched as she began to realise what Sawyer's plan was.

"You mean… you mean James wants me to sail away… without him?"

"Yes," Jack nodded.

Kate shook her head. There was no way Sawyer would send her away on her own like this.

"I don't believe you!"

"Inside the boat you'll find everything you'll need. And a letter from him. He wants you to go, Kate. It was a very painful decision for him to reach, I know it."

"I can't leave! Not without him!" she shouted before the tears began spilling from her eyes. If she left now, she might never see him again. "What if rescue never comes?"

"It's coming," Desmond simply said, his voice firm and assured.

She was sobbing. Now she understood why Sawyer had been so strange lately. Why he'd kissed her so passionately earlier. He'd planned all this for her. Her whole being wanted to go back to him and hold him at least one more time. Wanted to tell him she loved him more than anything. But she knew it would only make the inevitable separation worse. Now she could only empathise with him for knowingly letting her go.

He had been through all this only to set her free, to give them a chance of being together again. She wasn't going to let it pass. It was up to her now. Quickly wiping her tears, she stood straighter and told the men:

"I'll go."

xxxxx

Desmond spent the next minutes showing Kate everything she needed to know about the sailboat. It had been several years since Kate had sailed, but it all came back pretty quickly.

"You will have to sink the boat when you're done with it," Desmond explained. "Sawyer and I agree on this. If you don't, they could find out it was mine and suspect something."

Knowing how attached sailors could get to their boat, Kate gently told him, "I'm sorry about this, Desmond. I wish there was another way."

He smiled.

"This boat used to belong to the husband of a woman named Elizabeth. They were supposed to sail the Mediterranean Sea together, but he died before they'd had the chance to. I was looking for a boat to go on a race around the world. Elizabeth gave me hers because I told her I'd win the race for love. To get the woman I adore back. But I didn't win the race. I ended up here. Maybe it was destiny. Maybe you'll be the one who wins for love after all, Kate."

Her escape suddenly taking a whole other dimension, Kate could only nod at Desmond's words. Her faith in destiny had increased dramatically over her stay on the island and she couldn't help but thinking he was right.

"We have to move things along," Jack intervened at this moment. "Kate, you've got everything you might need inside. Money, clothes, food… and Sawyer's instructions."

Kate nodded again, her heart breaking at the mention of Sawyer. She couldn't wait to read his letter.

"I have to thank you for everything you've done for me," she told her friends gratefully. "I'll never forget you two."

Tears threatening to spill again, she quickly hugged them. But before they left, there was a message she needed them to deliver to Sawyer.

"Would you tell James… tell him I love him and that I…" Her voice broke and she had to pause. "… that we'll find each other again. I promise."

Jack nodded.

"We will. Goodbye, Kate. Be safe."

Seconds later, they were gone and Kate took a deep breath before resolutely sailing away.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Sawyer was still sitting in his seat when Jack and Desmond appeared on the beach hours later. Kate wasn't with them and while he was relieved she wasn't, a part of him died when he didn't see her. She was gone now.

Jack, looking distressed, was coming to inform him, for everyone to see, that Kate was dead. Show time, Sawyer thought gloomily. Meanwhile, Desmond was spreading the bad news and Claire had already burst into tears.

Trying to look alarmed while all he wanted to do was to close his eyes and never move again, Sawyer began to get up.

"Where's Kate?!" he exclaimed loud enough for people to hear.

Jack seemed so genuinely distraught that Sawyer could have given him an Oscar.

"I'm sorry, Sawyer… She's…"

Gripping at Jack's t-shirt, Sawyer pulled himself up, trying to look furious.

"What happened to her?! Where is she?! Tell me!" he yelled.

"She's dead, James."

"Wha-at? No… she can't be!"

"It's the truth. I'm so sorry," Jack said softly. "A polar bear took her; there was nothing we could do. There was nothing left to do for her anyway... I'm really sorry... I would have… if…"

Sawyer slowly sat back down, oblivious to the few survivors watching him react to the death of the woman he loved. Even knowing it wasn't for real, it still came as a shock to hear the words.

Kate was gone for good.

Jack bent down by the side of the airplane seat. Low enough to unsure no one but Sawyer could hear him, he said, "She wants you to know that she loves you and that you'll find each other again."

The message was enough to make the dam, which had long held Sawyer's feelings inside, break. Tears began rolling down his cheeks and he was powerless to stop them.

"Leave me alone," he growled for Jack's benefit.

"Sawyer, I…"

"I said leave me alone damn it!" he shouted.

Jack obeyed and Sawyer stayed there, unmoving. Even when the rain started to pour over him sometime later, he didn't budge, his eyes glued on the ocean. She was out there somewhere.

Now all he could do was pray he hadn't sent her to her death.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Kate watched the island grow smaller and smaller for as long as she could. The increasing distance between James and herself made her want to curl up on the floor and cry endlessly.

But she wasn't going to. No, she was going to be as strong as he'd want her to be. As strong as he was going to have to be, too. Trying to prevent the tears from invading her eyes, she prayed Desmond's vision would actually come true. It had to. If they hadn't been rescued a week after she'd reached dry land, she would call the authorities herself, even if it meant being caught. Her freedom wasn't worth more than the future of the rest of the survivors, even if Sawyer might say otherwise.

It was only when the rain started to fall heavily that she finally tore her gaze from the island and retreated inside the boat. There, she found the necessities Jack had told her about: food, money and clothes. Amongst the latter, she noticed her green top and smiled sadly. Sawyer hadn't been hiding her clothes to play a joke on her…

At last, she found the letter Sawyer had written to her. Slowly, she opened it. This was the last piece of Sawyer she'd get for who knew how long and she wished she could save it for the miserable moments that were to come.

Taking a deep breath, she began to read.

"Freckles,

I have to write this quickly, because it never takes you long to get us fruit. You climb those trees so fast; I think I'd call you 'Monkey' if you weren't so damn pretty!

So now you're gone. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you about my plan, but I'm not sure you'd have agreed with it. Maybe you think you don't deserve to be free, to be happy. But you do, and you made me believe I did too.

Sail out to somewhere you can lay low for a while. When the hype about our rescue dies down, contact Cassidy in Albuquerque. Remember, her last name is 'Philips'. I'll talk to her and she'll help you. I want to make sure that if the feds get suspicious, they can't find you through me. I'll get you a new ID and I'll find some place safe for you to live. If you want to, it can even be OUR home.

Destroy this letter once you've read it, just in case.

I love you.

James."

As she finished reading, Kate couldn't stop herself from crying. She already missed him so much! She had to keep a little something of this letter. Cautiously, she tore off the part where he'd written 'I love you' and folded it. Needing to keep it close to her heart, she slipped it inside her bra. Right where he'd want it to be, she told herself, smiling through her tears.

Kate then climbed back upstairs, tore off the rest of the letter and let the pieces fall into the ocean. Feeling the wind on her face, looking at the open sea, she felt alive and free.

A new chapter of her life was beginning.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

The next two nights after Kate's going away, Sawyer had a really had time sleeping. He kept waking up, thinking he'd heard her coming inside the tent, only be disappointed when he'd realised it'd been a dream. He would then spend the next several hours wondering if sending her on that boat had been the wrong decision.

For the first two days he didn't eat a thing, even refusing the food Sun had nicely brought to him. It wasn't hard at all to play the grieving man. Was Kate even still alive? The Pacific Ocean was a dangerous place and she wasn't an expert sailor. What if she encountered a storm? He could never forgive himself if anything happened to her.

During daylight, he'd spend all his time on his airplane seat, searching the horizon for either a sign of Kate or of a rescue he began to doubt would ever arrive.

"Can you tell if Claire is about to give birth yet?" he asked Jack when he came to check on him and on his injured leg.

"Labour could begin any time now," the doctor replied, averting his eyes.

"Tell me, Jack. Did I make the wrong decision? Sending her out there?"

Jack sighed and took his time to answer.

"I really don't know what I'd have done if I'd been in your shoes, Sawyer," he told him truthfully. "It's all so hard to believe, that someone could see the future. But… Last night, I noticed how cheerful Desmond seemed to be, so I asked him what was going on. He told me that today, Locke would find something dear to him that he'd lost in the explosion. A book. And you know what? An hour ago Locke came back from a trek in the jungle, carrying Desmond's book. So don't lose hope."

Sawyer appreciated how the doctor tried to help, but he still wasn't convinced.

"I wish he'd have a vision of Kate being alive," he said gloomily.

"I wish he did, too," Jack replied, scanning the horizon the same way Sawyer had been. He then sighed and looked back at the Southerner. "On the bright side, your leg is healing amazingly fast, Sawyer."

"Yeah, well. It's too late anyway," he commented dryly. If only he hadn't broken his leg, he could have been with Kate out there.

"You'll see her again, Sawyer. Keep the faith," Jack told him, briefly putting his hand on Sawyer's shoulder, who was grateful for his encouragement. Who'd have predicted when they'd first met that they would be this nice to each other only a few weeks later? Sawyer suddenly realised how much he'd changed since crashing on the island. All thanks to Kate.

Jack was leaving when Sawyer called him back.

"Hey Jack! Do me a favour and call me James, okay?"

Jack smiled and nodded. He then turned around and left, leaving Sawyer feeling a little better than he'd had before.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Later that day, Hurley came by Sawyer's tent, in an obvious effort to comfort him. Sawyer sighed. He wished they'd all leave him alone with his dark thoughts. He feared he just didn't have the energy to lie anymore.

"Hey man," Hurley began, "Sun told me you haven't been eating since… well, you know. I brought you a banana."

Hurley handed Sawyer the fruit, who ignored him.

"Not hungry," he let out curtly, wondering how he'd get rid of the guy.

And then he saw it. The big, red boat coming their way. For a split second, he wondered if he was dreaming, but cheers coming from other survivors proved him he wasn't. He jumped out of his chair and exclaimed, "Rescue! It's rescue, Hurley!"

A big smile appeared on Hurley's face, but it quickly faded when Sawyer hugged him. Taken aback, he froze for a second.

"I didn't think you'd be so happy to leave, dude," he commented.

Realising his mistake, Sawyer let go of the big man. Of course, he should have appeared at best indifferent about rescue. The island was the place where he'd been happy with Kate. Now she'd been "dead" for barely two days and if he left now he wouldn't have much to remember her by. It was the same as selling the house you'd shared with the love of your life only a couple of days after her passing.

At first not knowing how to react to Hurley's comment, Sawyer sat back down. Then he muttered: "Staying here is too painful."

Suddenly feeling very bad, Hurley mumbled:

"I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean… forget what I said. Hey, this is the moment we've all been waiting for! We should celebrate!"

"Yeah, you go and do that. I need to be alone now."

Hurley complied, and, finally on his own, Sawyer let a smile creep up on his weary face.

Maybe he hadn't been so wrong after all.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Everything happened pretty fast after that.

To everyone's surprise, the rescue boat happened to belong to Penny, the woman Desmond loved. She had spent the last three years looking for him and their reunion was a very emotional one.

Penny informed the authorities that she and her crew had found survivors from Flight 815. She was instructed to take everyone on board and head to Fiji. From there, they'd be taken to wherever they wanted. They were very interested in a survivor named Kate Austen, though they didn't seem disappointed when they were informed she'd died days ago.

People packed their belongings in record time and soon they were taken by helicopter to Penny's boat. While the helicopter was flying over the island, they had the surprise of finding more survivors of the fateful Oceanic flight. Amongst them was Bernard, Rose's husband. She had been right to believe after all and Sawyer wished Kate could have been there to witness their reunion. He hoped that, if she learned about them, it'd strengthen her faith that they'd be together again one day.

Even more shocking, the woman who'd given Desmond the boat Kate was on, Libby, was one of those 'new' survivors. It was almost too crazy to believe, but Desmond simply called it 'fate'.

The boat finally left the island behind. They'd spent the last month or so there, yet it seemed as though it had been much longer to Sawyer. Going back to the 'real world' felt so strange to him. Before meeting Kate he'd thought he had nothing to go back to; but that had changed. In a way, it scared him. He was a changed man and he was about to contact Cassidy again. At first, it only had been a crucial part of his plan to help Kate. But now, he realised that he wanted to be part of his daughter's life. A kid needed both its parents; he knew that all too well. And now he was starting to think he could actually be a not so bad father…

That was what he was thinking about as he leaned on the railing of the boat, watching the island grow tinier and tinier. His leg was doing well; according to Jack, he would not even need a cast when they'd get back to civilisation. His rapid recovery was just another one of the island's mysteries, he figured.

His train of thoughts was stopped when Hurley came to lean beside him. For a moment they both stayed silent, until Hurley asked a question Sawyer didn't expect.

"What did you use to do for a living?" he wondered.

Taken aback, Sawyer turned his head to face him and countered:

"Why are you asking me that?"

"Don't you think it's depressing that we spent a month together on a deserted island and still we don't know anything about each other?"

Sawyer didn't reply and Hurley continued, "Well, I actually have a pretty good idea WHO you are, but I don't know what you used to DO back in the real world."

Sawyer took a second to ponder Hurley's words. The big man was right: there was a difference between who you were and what you did. If he hadn't realised that, then he would never have allowed himself to fall for Kate, and neither would she have fallen for him.

But Sawyer wasn't going to tell Hurley about his conman's past. He wasn't going to lie to him either.

"What does it change anyway?" he asked. "We're each going to go our own way now. I'm pretty sure I won't attend the 'Flight 815 Survivor's Annual Reunions' you see," he snorted.

"I want to know because I want to offer you a job."

Sawyer couldn't help but smile. A job at the local chicken joint wasn't for him.

"Thanks, but no thanks," he replied, ready to limp away from Hurley.

"I know she's alive, dude," Hurley said, and Sawyer froze. "I don't know why or how you managed to do it, but I know she left the island before we did."

"Why would you say that?" Sawyer wondered, trying to sound detached while his heart was pounding inside his chest. His mind was racing. How had Hurley found out? Had he slipped up somehow?

"Because you love her so much you wouldn't be here if you had no chance of ever seeing her again," Hurley told him gravely.

Not knowing what to say to this, Sawyer kept staring at the ocean. Hurley was correct; if Kate had really died, he would have ended it right away. Put a bullet in his head like he'd almost done after the hatch had imploded.

"I want to help you, man," Hurley continued. "It might be hard to believe, but I'm a very rich man. And I want to offer you a job."

Hurley was rich? Hell, he'd seen and heard things a lot more far-fetched than this recently.

"Even if it were true," Sawyer countered, "That she was still alive, why would you do this? Why would you hire me?"

"Because all my money has ever brought me was grief and bad luck," Hurley replied sombrely. "Now it's going to change. I want to make something good with it." He paused and smiled. "Believe it or not, I like both you and Kate. You two deserve a chance of being happy."

For a long moment Sawyer stayed silent. It was beyond him how anyone could like him. He wasn't used to being helped either. But that job, if he took it, would be an enormous help.

Through Penny, they had learned that Oceanic had already offered a monetary compensation for their ordeal, but they still didn't know how much it'd amount to. He had some savings, yes, but buying Kate a new identity, maybe a small house somewhere… that would cost a lot. He had no diploma whatsoever and his conning days were over for good. What would he do now? Hurley's offer was as unexpected as it was life saving.

"You could say that I was in the investments business," Sawyer replied at last. "What do you have in mind?"

"Well, when I left for Australia I was worth 156 millions. As you can guess, a lot of people want me to invest in all sorts of things. You know me. I'm naïve and I just can't say no. I need someone who'd screen those demands, see who's trying to take advantage of me. Something like that. You could work from home, travel only when necessary. And I'd pay you well. What do you say?"

Sawyer couldn't help staring at Hurley suspiciously. Did he know about his past? Probably not. Averting his eyes, he looked intently at his hands on the railing. Of course, he'd be pretty good at such a job. He was great at reading people. When he wanted to, he knew how to turn on the charm, say no to someone and still keep an excellent relationship with them. He had no reason to say no, really. Such a job would give him plenty of time to be with Kate…

"Why would you think I'm qualified for that?" he asked Hurley nonetheless.

Hurley shrugged.

"I don't know dude. I guess I trust you."

James Ford had never been worthy of anyone's trust and Hurley's comment troubled him. But a new chapter of his life was beginning and he swore to himself that he'd prove himself to Hurley. And to Kate.

"Then I accept… boss."

The two men smiled and shook hands.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It took several days to get to Fiji. No one could leave the boat before the authorities agreed to it. They searched it for a trace of Kate but obviously didn't find her. They interrogated Jack and Desmond, but they had no reason to suspect them of any foul play. To Sawyer's relief, Kate's case didn't interest Edward Mars' colleagues as much as it had interested him. And now that he was dead, the authorities didn't seem to want to push their investigation any further. Kate was most probably going to be declared dead.

Although he had categorically refused to talk to journalists, he saw a couple of mentions about his love story with fugitive Kate Austen in newspapers. But their story wasn't the one that attracted the most attention from the media, much to Sawyer's satisfaction. Claire was a big favourite, since she had given birth to a baby boy only a few hours after their arrival. She'd named him Aaron and had decided to keep him after apparently thinking about giving him up for adoption.

Rock star Charlie, along with reunited lovers Desmond and Penny plus Rose and Bernard, also occupied a big place in the news. Hurley, the 114 million-lottery winner, was one of the favourites, too.

Given the choice to take a plane to wherever they wanted, the castaways mostly either went back to Australia or to the United States. After getting emotional hugs from a surprisingly high number of survivors, Sawyer took the first flight back to Los Angeles.

And then, he'd be off to Albuquerque.

xxxx


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21 

Kate looked around the boat one last time, making sure she hadn't forgotten anything.

After over a week at sea, she had ultimately arrived in Fiji. The trip had gone relatively well. She had been lucky enough to be spared of any bad weather, but now she had hardly any food left and it had been with relief that she'd seen the island's outline on the horizon.

Thanks to the radio on the _Elizabeth_, she had learned that the castaways had been found at last, a few days before, and taken to Fiji. Upon hearing the good news, Kate had sobbed for several long minutes, finally able to release some of the tension she'd been experiencing since leaving the island.

Sawyer was saved.

She missed him terribly, as she'd had no other thoughts to occupy her mind while she sailed. Before going to bed at night, would concentrate all her thoughts on him,  
hoping he'd appear in her dreams. Sometimes he did and it made the following day a little more bearable.

From what she could gather, the news of the rescue had made headlines around the world. She'd heard her name once, as it was reported that the fugitive Kate Austen had died just days before the authorities came to the island. That was good news; but she knew full well that it didn't mean she was off the hook. They could still have their doubts about her death.

During the trip, she'd spent some of her time trying to modify her appearance. First, she had cut her hair a little above her shoulders. It hadn't been an easy thing to do. Even while she'd been on the run, before being caught in Australia, she'd always refused to do such a thing. She knew it could've ensured her safety, she'd had no problem changing her name and background, but she never could bring herself to change her physical appearance. Deep inside of her, maybe she'd enjoyed being chased, having no choice but to stay on the move.

Now it was different. She really didn't want to mess up the golden opportunity she had to be happy and in peace at last.

She'd also experimented with make up until she'd found a way to further change the way she looked. She'd added glasses and had decided that she'd become a redhead as soon as she could buy what she needed.

And now she was ready to get off the boat. Desmond had provided her with a map of Fiji and she had identified a secluded enough spot to approach the Viti Levu Island without being seen.

Her plan was to cause an explosion that would eventually sink the boat. Now confident she hadn't forgotten anything inside the _Elizabeth_, Kate opened the propane tank's valve. She then turned on the pilot light from the water heater. That would eventually cause the leaking gas from the propane bottle to ignite. There would be a small explosion, not powerful enough to attract attention from far away, but it would most probably sink the boat overnight.

She hurried out, wanting to be as far away as possible when the explosion occurred in case it caught anyone's attention. She prayed it wouldn't happen, as it could ruin the whole plan. She embarked into the inflatable raft, which contained all the things she could carry that could be helpful.

Kate had almost reached the shore when she heard the explosion. Looking around, she didn't see a soul and hoped that it wouldn't take too long for the boat to totally disappear into the ocean. She couldn't help but smile weakly as she realised that her new life was beginning the same way her previous existence had ended.

She reached dry land at last and sank the raft, making sure it wouldn't be found later. She then swung her pack on her shoulder and looked at the tropical forest ahead of her. She sighed, already missing the comfort the boat offered. She planned on hiding in the jungle for a week before she'd make her way to Fiji's capital city, which was about 40 miles away. She longed to contact Sawyer through Cassidy, knowing how worried he must have been, but she knew it was better to be extra careful and wait for a while before daring letting anyone see her. So far she still had a chance of holding James again and she wasn't about to mess it up.

Unfazed by the rain that started to fall, Kate entered the jungle.

xxxx

Much to Sawyer's relief, Cassidy had proved easy to find after all. She was still in Albuquerque and he thanked all the saints he could remember for that. If she had moved, how would Kate have been able to contact him? And how long would it have taken? He was already going nuts hoping that she'd safely made it to Fiji, any extra delay would surely kill him.

Before getting into his rental car that afternoon, he carefully locked the door to his motel room. He glanced around, searching for any sign that he was being watched. But everything was normal. Maybe the authorities really believed she was dead? He could only pray.

He started the engine and took one more look at the map. He wished Cassidy's place was farther away, as he was really nervous about their upcoming meeting. But less than ten minutes later, he stopped in front of the house.

It took him a long moment before he actually turned the engine off. A part of him still wanted to run away. He knew all too well that there'd be no turning back after today. He was about to take a place in his daughter's life. He still had big doubts about him becoming an adequate father, but he was ready to take that leap of faith.

If he could only muster the courage to get out of the car.

He hadn't called Cassidy before coming here. He couldn't take the chance she'd refuse to see him. It would be understandable on her part, after what he'd done to her. He wondered if she'd figured out he'd been the one to deposit money in Clementine's name. That was all he could do to help the kid. That and staying out of her life for good, he'd figured at the time.

The thought of Kate was what finally caused him to open the door and step into the street. He shut the car door and took a deep breath before walking up to the house. There was a car in the driveway.

Cassidy was home.

Probably feeling more nervous than he'd ever had, Sawyer rang the doorbell and waited. A couple of seconds later, he heard voices inside the house.

"Clementine, I told you never to open the door yourself," Cassidy said and Sawyer almost ran away. Hearing her brought so many memories…

"But mommy…" a young voice replied.

Sawyer held his breath as the door began to open. It was a shock to see Cass again, as he'd probably loved her more than he'd realised. She opened her mouth in shock when she saw him, but before she could say anything Clementine peeked outside.

"Who is it mommy?" she asked. Sawyer's heart leapt when he finally laid eyes on his daughter. She was gorgeous. She had blond hair, blue eyes and dimples. She looked so much like him as a kid that it was eerie.

"Hi," was all he could find to say. He smiled at Clementine before raising uncertain eyes to Cassidy.

"Sawyer," she finally whispered, more to herself than anything. "I saw you in the paper… the plane crash…"

"I need to talk to you, Cass."

She stepped back to let him enter the house before closing the door behind him.

"Who are you?" the little girl wondered, aware of her mother's strange reaction.

Not knowing what to say, Sawyer glanced at Cassidy. She still seemed at loss for words, so he simply replied:

"I'm James."

"I'm Clementine," she replied, her pretty face serious.

Cassidy finally came out of her trance.

"Honey, go play in your room, okay? Sa- … James and I need to talk."

"Grown up talk?"

"Yes," Cassidy smiled. "Go upstairs; I'll call you down for a snack a little later, okay?"

Clementine grinned at the mention of food and hurried upstairs. When she was out of sight, Cassidy gestured for him to sit in the living room. She sat in front of him, arms crossed over her chest.

"So now that you've escaped death, you've decided to see your daughter at last?" Cassidy began, her voice full of spite but her eyes revealing how much she still cared for him. "You think she's going to change you?" she snarled.

"I've already changed, Cass," Sawyer replied calmly. "For a long time I thought I was doing you two a favour by staying out of your lives. But now I realise I might have something to give Clementine. I'm not coming here to take anything from her, Cass. I'm here to give her my love, that's all."

For a long moment Cassidy stayed silent, lost in her thoughts. She probably hadn't expected such a surprising response from him. This was a defining moment, he knew it. She had to allow him into their lives, for Kate's sake of course, but also because he really wanted to be there for his little girl. He didn't want her to grow up without a father, as he had himself.

As silence lingered, his frantic mind searched for something to say that would get Cassidy to trust him. But before he could find anything, she locked her eyes into his and spoke again.

"The thing is… I should actually be thanking you, you know that? Before I had her… There was such a void inside me; I was trying so hard to escape my life… That's why I was attracted to you. Or rather to what you did for a living. I needed the thrill, the danger… I needed to be someone else. After you left… I continued to run scams on my own. I was pathetic. Until Clementine came along and I found peace at last. So I guess you saved me after all, Sawyer."

"I'm no longer 'Sawyer', Cass. I'm James," he told her gently. "And don't thank me. I was a son of a bitch to you, Dimples. And I'm sorry about that."

He smiled to Cassidy who returned his grin before she suddenly jumped off her seat and came to hug him. He hugged her back and when she pulled back, he saw a single tear running down her cheek.

"You could have died without me ever knowing it," she told him with barely controlled emotion. "Without your daughter ever knowing you. That's not right. We've both made mistakes in our lives, but now we've got the chance to set things right."

For a few seconds Sawyer just didn't know what to say to her in reply. What did she expect from him exactly? Did she think he wanted them to get back together? He couldn't hide his discomfort and Cassidy noticed. She smiled.

"I don't mean that you and I should get back together. Frankly I don't think that'd be such a good idea. I told you I was hooked on danger and you were danger to me, _James_. And I'm afraid I'd go back to old habits if we got too close again. But you're my daughter's father; both you and Clementine deserve to have a chance to get to know each other. I'm not going to stand between you two."

Upon hearing those words, Sawyer couldn't help briefly caressing her cheek. He wished he could erase all the sorrow he'd caused her. They'd never really known each other; she'd wanted to do something he'd wished he could stop doing. But they'd had good times together and he knew he'd always have lots of affection for her.

"Did you love her? Kate?" Cassidy wondered gently.

Sawyer looked down at his hands for a moment. He missed Kate so terribly that just talking about her was extremely painful.

"Yes," he replied.

"I knew her," Cassidy said quietly.

"I know. We figured it out."

Cass pondered his answer, probably wondering how they had come about to talk about her.

"I'm sorry she died," she continued. "I didn't know her much, but I really liked her. Without knowing it, she made me realise that I wasn't on the right path. Eventually I would've ended up on the run like her. I needed to get my act together again, for our baby's sake. You couldn't be there for her, so I needed to be. I'm glad I did what I had to do. Meeting Kate changed me, James. It really did."

"She changed me too, Cass. More than you could ever think…" he told her, stopping before his voice broke.

Cassidy put a soothing hand on his shoulder.

"I wish things had been different for you two. Whatever she did, I know she was a good person."

There was his chance. He looked at Cass intensely, knowing he had to tread carefully.

"Then you've got to help me," he said.

"What do you mean?"

"She's not dead, Cass."

Cassidy was clearly taken aback.

"What? How?"

"I managed to find a way to let her leave the island before we did. Now I need to help her come back to me."

"She's not dead… wow. How did you pull that scam, Sawyer?" she wondered, vaguely amused but still in shock.

"The less you know the better, Cass. But now I need your help."

"My help? Is that why you really came back?" she shouted, suddenly angry as she got up from her seat.

"Nothing could have stopped me from making things right with you and our daughter, Cass. I know I don't deserve any favour from you, but there's no one else I can trust. Kate is a good person, we both know it. She can't run anymore. We have to help her," he pleaded.

But Cassidy shook her head.

"No, I can't help you… There's Clementine now. I can't take the risk…"

Sawyer got up and took Cassidy's hand in his. He didn't have to act as his eyes begged her to help him find the woman he loved.

"I've already told her to contact you," he told her gravely. "All you've got to do is to relay my instructions to her. That's it. I need to ensure there's no way the feds can connect her to me, just in case they're still wondering if she's alive. No more than that, Cass, I promise."

He saw that she was still hesitating, so he added:

"I love her, Cass. I need her. But you and Clementine also mean the world to me. I'll keep you out of harm's way, I promise."

Cassidy sighed deeply. She was finally giving in.

"Okay, I'll help you."


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: First of all, let me apologize for taking so long to update. Frankly, I needed a break from writing. But I'll finish this fic, I promise. Be patient. Thanks for sticking with this.

**Chapter 22**

She'd spent over a month on 'Craphole Island", but the week she spent in the Fijian jungle was far worse. Back on the island, she'd been with Sawyer every step of the way and his presence had made things more than bearable, even enjoyable at times.

After seven long days and nights, Kate had started walking, heading to Fiji's capital city, Suva. It had taken her 4 days to cover those 40 miles.

Once there, she had taken a room in a modest hotel. She didn't intend on staying long, as she didn't have a lot of money. She wasn't the only stranger around and it relieved her. She still changed her hair color and, to complete her physical transformation, she picked up a Southern accent and decided to pretend she was from Alabama.

She bought a local newspaper and from what she saw there was no more talk about the rescue, except a short article mentioning that Driveshaft had announced its reunion tour. Still Kate knew she had to be careful. Even if the US authorities believed she was dead, everything would be lost if someone recognized her.

On her second day in town, she ventured into an Internet café and, after looking up Cassidy Philips, quickly found her phone number in Albuquerque. She let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, immensely relieved.

Even though she knew that Cassidy's phone record would show her call and could eventually give proof to the US Marshals that she wasn't really dead, Kate knew she didn't really have any choice but to take the risk. She needed Sawyer's help, of course, but mostly she had to let him know she was safe.

Exiting the café, she walked back down the street, to a public phone she'd noticed earlier.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Cassidy Philips was waiting for Sawyer to finish putting Clementine to bed. This was taking way too long; the little girl must have asked for one more story and her father hadn't been able to say no to her, Cass thought. She shook her head, mentally making note to remind him that he couldn't always let her have her way, but she couldn't help a smile from creeping up on her face.

For almost a month now, James Ford was back in their lives. At first she'd had her doubts about his motives and worried he might disappear again, leaving Clementine broken-hearted. But those fears were slowly fading, as his devotion to his daughter seemed to grow stronger with every minute he spent with her.

He'd come by almost every day since his return, sometimes just for an hour or so, but Clementine was becoming very attached to him. During her cynical moments, Cassidy wondered if he always came by for his daughter, or if it was in hope of being there when Kate finally called.

_If_ she ever called, Cass couldn't help but think. Sometimes, even though she really liked Kate, she almost wished she didn't come back. If she didn't return, maybe… Maybe she and James could give it another shot. She had meant it when she'd said she'd been more attached to the dangerous life he was leading than to the person he was. But she had changed since then and so had he. Who knew, perhaps they could be a real family?

Cassidy shook her head. She was being unrealistic. As soon as he wasn't with Clementine, it was easy to see in Sawyer's eyes how much he missed Kate, how worried he was about her. His feelings for that woman went far deeper then those he'd ever had for her. Hearing Sawyer coming down the stairs at last, Cassidy sighed, hoping that, one day, she'd find a man who'd love him as much as James loved Kate. A love like that happened once in a lifetime and she decided she'd do everything in her power to reunite those two. She cared too much about him to let him down. A strange thing for her to do, since that was exactly what he'd done to her all those years ago, she thought derisively.

"She's asleep," Sawyer announced quietly when he entered the living room.

"You shouldn't read her more than one story. The rules need to be the same whether it's you or me putting her in bed, you know."

Sawyer looked down for a second and Cassidy almost regretted saying anything, even though she'd spoken gently.

"I… I didn't read her a second story," he finally said, his eyes avoiding hers. "I just… I watched her fall asleep," he admitted.

Measuring the depth of his affection for his little girl, Cassidy didn't know what to say. Just a month ago, if someone had told her that Sawyer would one day care that much for Clementine, Cassidy would never have believed it in a million years.

"Don't worry, she didn't even know I was there", he added, finally meeting her gaze.

"It's okay, James," she said softly. "It's great to hear, actually."

Her words seemed to make him a little uncomfortable.

"I should go now," he said, grabbing his jacket.

Cassidy silently got up from the couch to walk him to the door. She knew she had to give him some space. In fact, they both still had to fully adjust to this new life.

Sawyer opened the door, but before he exited he turned to Cassidy.

"You remember what to tell her, don't you?" he murmured.

Of course she did. He'd told her several times what to say when Kate called, asked her over and over to repeat every instruction so she'd make no mistakes.

"I know, James. I know," she tried to reassure him, putting a soothing hand on his forearm.

He smiled weakly in response and walked into the night. Cassidy watched him go, hoping that the wait would soon be over. Sawyer had to know if Kate was coming back or not, his mental health depended on it.

Cassidy had barely closed the door that, like an answer to her prayers, the phone started to ring.

xxxxxxxxxx

Kate picked up the phone and managed to dial two numbers before she had to hang up, a wave of nausea washing over her. She forced herself to breathe and it went away. What would she give to bury herself in Sawyer strong arms right now! She'd been such a nervous wreck lately. She was even starting to feel physically sick. She'd been running for so many years, she knew she could do it. But this time was different; now she had something, someone to lose.

But all she could do right now was make that call to Cassidy, hoping she could help her.

So Kate successfully dialled the number and finally heard a voice that took her way back, back to the day her mother had told her she'd call the cops if she ever tried to see her again.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Cass? It's me!" Kate exclaimed, trying to sound cheerful in case the authorities were listening. Unlikely, but she couldn't take any risk.

"Hey!!" Cassidy replied, playing her part, too. "How are you?"

"I'm fine. The trip went really well, and the weather is so nice here!"

"I'm happy to hear that. I was starting to worry."

"Don't worry about me, it's hardly my first trip alone," Kate said, trying to sound confident. She didn't want Sawyer to lose sleep over her safety, but she wasn't as assured as she was letting show. "So, how's it going in Albuquerque?"

"Well, have you heard about the Oceanic survivors?"

"Yes, I did."

"Well… Clementine's father is one of them. And he decided he wanted to get to know her."

Although Kate wasn't surprised, it still made her feel uneasy to hear that. Of course she wanted Sawyer to know his daughter, but right now she was so far away… What if he decided to rekindle his relationship with Cassidy? Hadn't Cass told Kate she still loved him, even after he'd conned her?

"So, he's living with you now?" she couldn't help but say, hoping her fears weren't too obvious.

"No, no. He's still very affected by his girlfriend's death, on that island. Thankfully, a friend he made out there got him a job, so… It's been keeping him busy."

Intrigued, Kate almost asked which friend, but she knew she had to hurry. The call was costly enough; she had to get the information she needed before she ran out of money. As if she'd been reading her mind, Cassidy continued:

"Listen, I want to send you a gift for your birthday. Since you're always on the move, I was thinking I could send it to a friend of mine, in Sydney. Think you could make it there eventually?"

"Sure, yeah, give me the address."

"His name his Laurence. He owns a workshop on the docks. Ask around, everybody knows him."

Who was that guy, Kate wondered? How could Sawyer be sure he wouldn't give her up to the police?

"Are you sure you can trust him with my gift?"

"Yes, I'm sure," Cassidy replied. "I know things about him he wouldn't want me to share!" she laughed, and Kate understood the hidden meaning. Sawyer had something on him and she suspected that Laurence probably had something on Sawyer, too.

"Well, kiss Clementine for me," Kate told Cassidy, "and tell her I love and miss her."

"I will, don't worry," Cassidy said gravely, letting Kate know she knew she was talking about Sawyer. "She loves you too."

The women quickly ended the call after that and for a moment Kate stood unmoving. Talking to Cassidy stirred many feelings inside of her. On one hand this indirect contact with Sawyer cheered her up, but on the other hand it only made her miss him more.

She hadn't seen him in a month and, more than ever, she missed his scent, his touch, his wisecracks, his blue eyes… To give herself courage, she discreetly took out the small 'I love you' note she'd been holding on to and kissed it lightly.

She would definitely find a way to get to Sydney without being recognised.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Driving back to the motel where he'd been living since returning to the USA, Sawyer was completely exhausted. When he was with Clementine he was fine, but as soon as he wasn't, the weight of his concern for Kate crushed him. Would he ever find out what had happened to her? Would he ever see her again?

At least he'd been keeping busy since coming back, or he would have gone crazy. First, he'd contacted an old acquaintance he trusted who forged Kate a new passport and all other necessary forms of identification. Now, thanks to the generous settlement Oceanic had offered the survivors, he was in the process of finding a house for the two of them. He was thinking about Montana, perhaps. But there was also Clementine to consider. Would Cass agree to move that far, too, so he could continue to bond with his daughter? He didn't want to be away from her ever again and he would have to find a way to convince Cassidy that it could work out.

After stopping the car in front of the motel, he closed his eyes and sighed deeply. If only his mind could stop working for a while! If only he could get a good night's sleep, if only Kate would call... He missed her so much! Feeling himself tearing up, he swore loudly and opened his eyes. He wasn't going to cry, he wasn't going to lose hope. She would call. He just had to be patient.

Sawyer got out of the car and entered his room. Just as he was closing the door behind him, his cell phone rang. His heart almost stopped; Hurley and Cassidy were the only people who had that number. Did it mean…?

Not wasting a second, he answered. It was Cassidy.

"James, I just got a phone call from my friend."

Sawyer though he'd faint. Kate had called! Kate was alive! He had to sit down.

"Well… you must be glad. How is she doing?" was all he could muster.

"She seemed good. I told her I would send her a gift and she said she'd go and get it from Laurence," Cassidy replied.

Sawyer nodded to himself. That package would contain Kate's new passport and documents; he'd even managed to procure a credit card in her new name.

"Good... Anything else?"

"She said she missed Clementine," Cassidy told him softly.

He stayed silent for a second, as it struck him that maybe it wasn't easy for Cassidy to hear Kate say that she missed him. Did she still have some feelings for him, despite what she had said when he'd came back?

"Did you tell her that she misses her, too?" he replied hesitantly.

"I did," Cassidy told him firmly. Maybe she had sensed his discomfort? She went on: "Listen, I don't want to bother you longer with all that. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. As soon as I can."

"Goodnight, then."

"Goodnight," he said, but before he hung up he added: "Cass? Thank you. For everything."

"You owe me, you know that?" she replied with a smile in her voice.

"I know. I won't forget, Cass," he said gravely.

They ended the call and a big, relieved smile slowly appeared on Sawyer's face. She was okay.

They would find a way to be together again.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

It was over two weeks before Kate could get to Sydney.

Leaving Fiji hadn't been as easy as she had figured. Or maybe she was just being more cautious than she used to be before meeting James?

She had finally befriended an elderly couple who had bought her story of the violent ex-boyfriend who was chasing her. They had agreed to hide her inside their boat until they got to Australia.

Finding Laurence on the docks had then proved easy, but she hadn't been able to breathe freely until she was miles away, her new passport in hand. Certain she hadn't been followed, she then contacted Cassidy for the second time. During their short, coded conversation, Kate told her she'd gotten her passport without any problem, and that she was going to buy a ticket on the next flight to Los Angeles. Cassidy seemed relieved with the news and informed her that she and Clementine's father had bought houses in Montana. They were actually moving there in two days. Kate mentally repeated over and over the address Cass gave her in Montana. She would see them there.

So everything would a lot easier now, Kate kept telling herself. Then why did she feel so awful? So tired, so apprehensive? Of course things were going so smoothly that she was beginning to worry. Nothing had ever gone right in her life; she'd learned to expect the worse.

But there was something else, something she'd been trying to push aside for weeks. But as days went by, she knew she couldn't hide from the facts anymore.

That was why she had finally walked inside that drugstore, unable to stand the doubt any longer. That was why she was now sitting in that motel bathroom; staring at a paper bag she couldn't find the strength to open.

She had to face it: the tiredness, the nausea… the fact that she should've had her period weeks ago… There was a good chance she was pregnant.

What would she do if she was? She had been through that questioning years ago, back when she was married to Kevin. She was a fugitive then, so it was out of the question to become a mother. And now? Was Kate Austen really dead to the world? Was she really free? What would Sawyer say if she were carrying his child? Could she, a murderer, become a good parent?

Kate suddenly felt her head spinning. She grabbed the sink to avoid falling, urging herself to take deep breathes. When she felt better at last, she became frantic; she grabbed the pregnancy test from the bag and tore it open.

And find out once and for all if she was bearing Sawyer's child or not.

Sawyer was in Cassidy's kitchen, packing her wine glasses while she was busy in Clementine's room. The little girl was having a hard time believing that she would ever see her teddy bears again if she put them in a closed box for the trip.

He actually felt bad about all this. He had already caused a major change in his daughter's life by coming back, and now, just weeks later, he was having them move thousands of miles away. All this because he was in love with a woman who wasn't his child's mother. What if it didn't work out with Kate in the real world? Living on the island was something unique and the life threatening stuff they had been through made them enjoy the important things in life, like love and friendship. But would it be the same now?

Sawyer shook his head as he grabbed another glass. Kate would be here within a couple of days and that was all he should've been thinking about. He couldn't wait to kiss her, to tell her how much he loved her. He couldn't help but smile derisively to himself. How life had changed over just a few months! He had straightened up his life, something he wouldn't have ever believed he could do, especially after killing Frank Duckett.

He still felt terrible when he thought about that poor man, and the memory of that fateful night would always haunt him. But surrendering himself to the cops wasn't the solution. He could do more good outside of prison, and so could Kate. They had made terrible mistakes, but they still were decent people who deserved a chance to be happy.

And they soon would be.

Blinded by the Los Angeles sun, Kate quickly put on her sunglasses. She had landed in California several days later than she'd originally planned, but she had needed time to decide if coming here really was what she wanted to do.

It felt good, but strange, to be back in her own country, she now realised as she hailed a cab.

"I'm going to the St.Sebastian Hospital," she told the driver.

Several times during the trip she resisted the urge to tell the driver to stop. A nagging voice inside her head kept telling her she was making a mistake, but she forced herself to ignore those second thoughts. She was doing the best for Sawyer and for herself.

Once inside the hospital, she followed the directions and found without too much difficulty the office she'd been looking for. Hesitating before knocking, Kate exhaled loudly. She could still turn back and head for Montana.

Without giving herself the chance to think any longer, she finally knocked.

"Come in," she heard through the wooden door. It felt strange to hear that voice here, in the real world.

She opened the door and was met by the stunned look on the man's face.

"Kate?! Is it really you?" he exclaimed.

She nodded, a little smile playing on her lips as she closed the door behind her.

"Yes, Jack, it's me."

"Wow, I… I never thought I'd see you again!" he exclaimed, getting up to hug her. "I'm glad to see you're alright. I was worried about you."

Kate hugged him back before replying:

"I'm fine, thanks to you and Desmond. And James, of course."

Jack's brow furrowed at the mention of Sawyer's name. He was probably wondering if the Southerner knew she was taking the risk of coming to see him.

"Does he know you're here?" he asked after a couple of seconds.

Kate looked down, feeling like a kid caught steeling a cookie. The doctor had always that effect on her and she hated it.

"No," she finally admitted, meeting his disapproving gaze. "Jack, I need your help. You're the only one I can turn to."

"Why? What's so bad that you can't go to James?" he wondered, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

"I'm pregnant," she replied, watching that glimmer disappear. "And I can't have this baby," she added tearfully.

As she tried to explain to Jack why she couldn't have Sawyer's baby, sobs wrenched her body. She felt ashamed to be that weak in front of Jack, but she couldn't stop crying. The last six weeks had been so stressful! She desperately needed the comfort of a friend.

As she'd have expected of him, Jack stepped up to the plate. He wrapped his arms around her and stroked her hair until finally her sobs subsided. He guided her to a chair where he gently sat her before doing the same next to her.

"Kate, did something bad happen between you and James?" he asked, holding her hand between his.

She shook her head in response.

"Okay, then let's take things from the beginning. Are you certain you're pregnant?"

Kate told him about all the symptoms and changes her body was already going through, plus about the pregnancy test that had proved positive. Jack could only agree with her; she was indeed pregnant. About two months pregnant, he even estimated.

"So, are you saying you want to terminate the pregnancy, Kate?" he then asked her, his intense gaze on her.

"Yes," she replied, her voice strangled by emotion.

"Why?" he wondered.

Kate tried to explain her reasons to Jack, but she could easily see that he disagreed with her. When she argued that the authorities could still be after her, he told her that his and Desmond's testimonies had never been questioned. They had no reason to suspect any foul play.

When she spoke about her fear of not being a good mother, he countered that that was in the case in practically all women. If every person who'd had a bad relationship with their parents didn't have kids, Earth would be deserted, he joked. He then added, more seriously, that the very fact that she was having those fears proved that she'd be a great mother. She had to trust herself.

Kate's gaze wandered out the window for a long moment. Maybe Jack was right. Maybe she could keep this baby… But the problem remained that she didn't know how Sawyer would feel if he knew she was pregnant. Would he feel trapped? After all he'd done for her, that was the last thing she wanted, for him to feel obligated towards her. Maybe he was already regretting getting involved with her? Perhaps he'd prefer to be a family with Cassidy and Clementine?

Having a child together wasn't something they had ever discussed. Was there a chance he would be happy? Truth was that she didn't even know how he felt about Clementine. How attached to her was he now?

"I'm guessing you haven't told James, have you?" the doctor asked her after a moment, stopping her train of thoughts.

"Not yet," she replied evenly. She still didn't know if she was going to tell him anything, or even if she would keep the baby. But until she made up her mind she wasn't going to discuss that matter further with Jack.

"Don't forget it's not just your decision to make, Kate," he added grimly. "It's his baby, too."

"I know, Jack," she said with a forced smile. She couldn't wait to get out of this place; she needed to think. Quickly, she thanked Jack and told him she'd take the time to think things through before making a decision. He made her promise she'd be in touch before reluctantly letting her go.

Kate hurried out of the hospital. Once outside, she breathed deeply. She was more confused than ever. Jack had made some good points. What was she going to do now? She wandered to a nearby park where she sat under a big tree.

If it really was true that she was free… maybe she could start thinking about what she wanted in her future. Watching kids running after a Frisbee, she began to think that she might like becoming a mother.

But what about Sawyer? Maybe he really wanted to be with her again, but a child would surely be more than he'd bargained for. Wouldn't it? The thing was that there was no way for her to know how he'd feel without asking him. Then it would be too late to back down if he wanted her to have the baby. And if he didn't want the kid and she decided she did, well, he'd feel obligated towards her and the child.

As the California sun warmed her skin, Kate closed her eyes and was brought back to those afternoons she and James had spent in each other's arms, on his airplane seat. Truth was she missed him like crazy. She craved to see him again.

Kate suddenly sat up straight. She'd just had an idea.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

Cassidy had left Clementine with her father while she'd gone to the grocery store. Christmas was only three days away; there were so many people out shopping that Cass had decided it would be easier if she went alone. When she'd first suggested he take care of Clementine while she was out, Sawyer had frozen. He would never be able to take care of her alone! But then he'd realised that by leaving him in charge of what was most precious to her, Cassidy was showing how much she trusted him. Spending time alone with his daughter was something new to him, but something he definitely wanted to get used to.

So he'd accepted.

So he and Clementine were now putting the final touches to the Christmas tree he had put up in Cassidy's living room. He still hadn't gotten one for his own place; without Kate there was no point. They would get it together. If she ever showed up, he couldn't help but think dejectedly. He was getting more and more worried about her. Almost a week before, she'd told Cassidy she was getting on the next flight to Los Angeles. Where was she now? Had she been caught? Was she in trouble? Why hadn't she called? Had she even made it to the US?

"It's the last one, daddy," Clementine pointed out as she grabbed one final ornament, stopping his train of thoughts.

Looking down at the little blonde girl, Sawyer smiled and picked her up so she could put the ornament up in the tree herself.

"Great job, Tiny," he told her when she was done.

"Daddy!" she exclaimed, frowning in the most adorable way. "My name is Clementine!"

"So what?" he replied, feigning innocence.

"Don't give me nicknames, or I'll tickle you," she warned him.

"You wouldn't tickle your Daddy, would you, Tiny?"

"Daddy!" she yelled, smiling widely, before she proceeded to tickle him. He pretended to be unable to escape her, laughing good-naturedly until he heard a car coming up in the driveway.

"Mommy's back!" Clementine shouted, running to the window.

"I'll go and help her with the groceries. Stay put, kiddo."

Sawyer went outside and Cassidy smiled at him as she opened the trunk.

"I'm glad to see you didn't run away or anything," she teased him. She handed him a couple of bags. "Was Clem a good girl?"

"Well, she's in the freezer right now. She needed to calm down a bit."

"Is that so," Cass replied, a little smile playing on her lips as took some bags, too, and headed inside.

"Mommy!" Clementine exclaimed when she saw her mother. "Did you get new markers?"

Cassidy grinned at her daughter and opened her purse.

"Yes, honey, here they are."

Clementine, extremely happy, took the markers, hugged her mother and disappeared upstairs.

"She should have been here days ago," Sawyer said out of the blue.

Cassidy stared at him for a few seconds before she spoke.

"If she'd been caught it would've been all over the news, James. I'm sure she's fine," she told him gently.

"She really did tell you she was taking the next flight to Los Angeles?" he couldn't help but ask, even though he knew perfectly well what her answer would be.

"Yes. But maybe she decided to be extra careful," Cassidy offered, not sounding totally convinced herself.

"I need to go to L.A.," Sawyer suddenly decided.

"James, Los Angeles is a big city. You won't find her. You don't even know if she ever got there. And you certainly can't go around showing her picture."

"Well, I sure as hell can't stay here doing nothing!" he exclaimed. "What if she needs help?"

"Let's just think about this for a minute," Cassidy said. "Can you think of anything that might have held her up? Something that explains why we haven't heard from her?"

"If I could, I wouldn't be here putting up Christmas trees," he grumbled, immediately regretting his words. He didn't want to imply that spending time with his daughter was only his second choice… Fortunately, Cassidy didn't seem to take his remark the wrong way.

"Does she know anyone out there? Someone she might have gone to?"

Sawyer took a second to think. Only five people knew about Kate being alive: Cassidy, himself, Hurley, Desmond and… Jack. Jack, who lived in Los Angeles. Sombre, he locked his eyes into Cassidy's and replied:

"Yeah. The doc."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Just off of the plane, Sawyer headed for the airport's exit. As he walked, his first instinct was to put on his sunglasses and keep his face down to avoid being recognised. But then it occurred to him that he didn't look at all like he had when he'd faced the reporters after being rescued. Aboard Penny's boat, he had shaved and had borrowed some gel to wear his hair back like he'd had on the day the plane had crashed. He had also hidden behind sunglasses and the strategy had proved successful: now that his trademark stubble had grown back and his hair was dishevelled again, no one had recognised him. And since James Ford was a fairly common name, he was confident he wouldn't be bothered as he tried to rebuild his life.

Sawyer hailed a cab but asked the driver to stop a few blocks away from St Sebastian Hospital. He needed to walk for a few minutes, to clear his head and try to calm down. He didn't want to barge into Jack's office and do something foolish. After all, he needed Jack to tell him if and when he'd seen Kate. The chances were slim; but his gut told him she'd contacted the doctor.

Why?

What if Kate had decided she was better off with Jack after all? The thought that Kate might have played him from the beginning flashed in James' mind, but he forced himself to discard the idea. He couldn't have been such a fool, could he?

His hands balled into fists, his jaw clenched, he knocked on the door on which a golden plate indicated this was "Doctor Jack Shepard's" office. Told to come in, Sawyer complied.

"James, hi," Jack exclaimed, raising his eyes from the file he'd been reading.

"You don't seem surprised to see me, doc," Sawyer said as he closed the door behind him, trying not to sound bitter.

Jack indicated him a seat and watched him walk up to it.

"Your leg seems better," he remarked with a friendly smile before stepping around his desk and leaning on it as he looked intently at his former fellow castaway. Sawyer tried not to glare at him, wishing the doc would answer the question he'd implied.

"No, I'm not surprised," Jack then let out with a sigh, obviously sensing Sawyer's frustration. "But I was hoping I wouldn't see you, to be perfectly honest."

"So you saw her? Kate? When?" Sawyer pressed him.

"She came to see me three days ago."

Sawyer jerked out of his seat.

"Was she alright? What did she want?"

Jack shook his head.

"I'm afraid she doesn't want me to tell you, James."

That was the wrong answer to give a man in Sawyer's state of mind. Without thinking, he grabbed Jack by the collar, roughly pushing him back to the wall.

"Tell me!! After all I've been through, I need to know! I need to know if she's coming back to me!!"

Jack obviously saw the despair in James' blue eyes, because he nodded slowly.

"She came here because she needed my help." Jack paused as Sawyer stared at him expectantly. "She's pregnant, James. And confused."

Stunned, Sawyer let go of the doctor. Kate was pregnant? It was his baby? He sat back down, running his hand in his blond hair. Things were starting to make sense now. She must have found out about the baby after calling Cass from Australia. She must be afraid of his reaction to the baby news. And maybe she was scared of the kind of parents they could be if they were anything like their own.

In a daze, he heard Jack explain that at first Kate had wanted an abortion, and he thought she'd changed her mind after talking with him. He didn't know where she was but she'd promised to stay in touch.

Sawyer knew full well he wouldn't find her until she came to him of her own will. She had to think and he would respect that.

He could only hope that their love would prove strong enough in the end and she'd come back to him.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

A/N: Well, this is it, finally! I'm so sorry to have taken so long with this fic. I want to thank the fantastic **so original** for beta-ing the whole thing with such efficacity!! Thanks so much! Big thanks also to all the readers who have followed this story!! You guys are the best!!

**Chapter 25**

Kate had rented a car and driven to Montana almost without stopping on the way.

She still didn't know what to do about Sawyer and the baby, but the more she thought about the life slowly growing inside her, the more attached she became to it. But could she keep it if it meant losing James?

It would help a lot if she could figure out what his relationship with Clementine was, she'd thought. That was why she was heading to his house right now, hoping she could see them together without being noticed. If things came down to it, she could always call Cassidy and ask her bluntly what she wanted to know.

She knew she wasn't being reasonable. She wasn't acting the way a grown adult should. She should just face him.

But she just couldn't find the courage to do so.

As she neared his house, she suddenly saw a woman she recognised. Cassidy! It was her, walking up to her blue car with a little girl in tow. It must be Clementine. Kate slowed down the car, her heart pounding in her chest. Had they seen her? She didn't think so.

On an impulse, she turned the car around and followed them.

They stopped at a nearby bookstore and Kate followed them inside. She didn't know what she was expecting exactly. Maybe she only wanted to see Sawyer's daughter better. Imagine what their own kid might look like…

Cassidy went through the novels while Clementine wandered around for a while. She then grabbed a book and went to her mother. Kate was close enough to overhear them.

"I want to get daddy this book," the little girl said.

"Honey, it's a children's book," Cassidy told her after glancing at it.

"But Daddy loves reading me stories! He will love this one. It's about bunnies."

Cassidy smiled tenderly.

"Alright, we'll take it. Just let me find a grown up book, too, okay?"

Clementine watched her mother got through books for a moment before saying:

"I miss Daddy. Where is he? When is he coming back, Mommy?"

"I told you, honey. He went to find his girlfriend. He called earlier today saying he'd be back tonight."

"But why can't he be your boyfriend? Moms and dads live together."

Cassidy knelt beside her daughter.

"We don't love each other that way anymore, honey. I've told you."

"Does he love his girlfriend more than he loves me?"

Cassidy hugged Clementine and held her close as she spoke.

"Of course not, honey. He loves the three of us very much, but differently, that's all."

Kate had heard enough. Hurriedly, she left the bookstore and went back to her car. Four years ago when they had met, Cassidy had told her she was pregnant with Sawyer's child and didn't know what to do about it. How ironic was the present situation! Kate was now the one pregnant, and by the same man! She couldn't help but smile derisively as she sat in the rental car.

Cassidy had decided to keep the baby and, against all odds, Sawyer was now present for his daughter. He loved reading to her… and she seemed to love him very much already. Why cheat him of the happiness of knowing his second child from the start?

The news would probably come as a shock to him. Their life would not always be smooth sailing. But it would also be an incredible adventure.

Kate started the car, a big smile on her face.

She was going home.

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When she turned her car down the alley, Kate couldn't see the house, as it was hidden behind some trees. The place was very private, and it suited Kate just fine. And when she did see the house, she abruptly stopped the car. It was perfect! Sawyer couldn't have chosen a better place for them to live.

To avoid scaring him away when he returned, Kate parked the car behind the house. That way, he wouldn't think the authorities had come for him. Then, feeling like Goldilocks going into the three bears' house, Kate went to the front door and tried the handle. The door was locked. Glancing around, she noticed an empty flowerpot. She lifted it and smiled: under it was a key. She tried it… bingo.

Upon entering the house, Kate was surprised to see that it was empty, except for a big screen TV, still inside its box, and the kitchen appliances. Was James waiting for her before he bought anything, so they could chose together?

Before going upstairs, Kate took off her boots and her coat, leaving them in a place Sawyer would easily notice when he got home. She hoped it would prevent him from having a heart attack if she was asleep when he came back…

Once upstairs, she found a king size mattress sitting on the floor. She couldn't help but smile, realising that they could finally sleep together in a real bed, after all those uncomfortable nights spent on the beach. How different was life here with him going to be compared to how it was on the island? She didn't know, but she was dying to find out. She couldn't wait for him to get here. She missed him so much!

On the bed was one of Sawyer's t-shirt and, on an impulse, she undressed and put it on. She felt closer to him than she had in months, and it almost brought her to tears. 'Come on, Kate, get a grip on yourself', she told herself. But it was as though the adrenaline that had been rushing though her veins since leaving the island was now going away, leaving her more tired than she'd ever felt. Kate lay on the bed and, smelling him on the sheets, she quickly fell asleep.

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Feeling down, Sawyer almost didn't stop at Cassidy's. All he really wanted was to crash in front off the TV with a bottle of Jack Daniels. But while he had a TV, he still didn't have a couch to crash on. 'Damn', he muttered when he realised that the only thing he could sit on was the bed and that carrying the TV all the way up to his bedroom was more trouble that he was willing to go through.

Looking at his watch, he realised that little Clementine was about to go to bed. The urge to see his daughter surprised him. He had missed her more than he'd thought possible. The moments he'd spent with her were probably the one thing that had kept him sane since leaving the island and waiting for Kate to come back to him.

So he went directly to see his daughter, arriving just in time to read her a bedtime story. Then he went down to the living room and sat beside Cassidy. She just looked at him, and he could see that she was wondering how his trip had gone but didn't know if he was ready to talk about it. He sighed. The pre-island James wouldn't have said a word, choosing instead to get drunk to forget his pain. Not only had he changed, but now he also had people around him who actually cared how he felt.

"She went to see Jack," he began.

Cass silently waited for more, but he wasn't sure how to break the news of Kate's pregnancy to her. Surely she would feel threatened. Would she feel as though she and Clementine suddenly weren't as important to him?  
"And…?" she finally asked.

"She told him she needed an abortion," he blurted out.

Cass seemed shocked for a few seconds, but quickly recovered.

"Did he…?"

Sawyer shook his head.

"No. He tried to convince her to keep the baby. And to talk to me," he added, his voice breaking. He clenched his jaw, hating to be weak, especially in front of Cassidy. "He doesn't know what she decided to do," he added.

Cassidy put a soothing hand on his arm.

"How do you feel about all this? About a baby?" she wondered.

James took his time before replying. He'd spent the last several hours asking himself the same question. And just now the answer finally seemed clear to him.

"Before crashing on that island I would've told you that me being a father was a ridiculous idea. But now I feel differently. Clementine is the best thing that ever happened to me, Cass. Having another one, with Kate… that'd be great. Scary as hell, but great."

"I know how she must feel right now," Cassidy commented after a beat. "Bringing a child into this world is a big decision. A big responsibility. And when you're scared you might end up alone… you really have to think things through. But I also know that…" She looked away, but Sawyer had time to see her eyes shining with tears. "… she would be a fool not to come back to you, James."

His heart filled with affection and respect for the woman next to him, Sawyer hugged her. He knew that there would always be some degree of regret between the two. They would always wonder how differently things might have turned out if they'd had a real chance. But he also knew that he'd always be there for her and their daughter. He swore to himself that he would, no matter what.

"No matter what happens with Kate, you have to know that I'll always be there for you two. You and Tiny are my family, Cass," he said in a low voice. "You have to believe me."

"I do believe you, James."

Both not used to big displays of emotion, they let go of each other.

"I'm okay with Kate being a part of our lives. I really am," Cassidy said as she smiled reassuringly. "She'll come back to you. Just give her some time."

Sawyer nodded, suddenly exhausted. He said goodnight to Cass and left.

The cold night air hit him as he exited the house. After all that time living under the tropical sun, what on Earth had he been thinking coming so far up north, he mumbled to himself?

A short moment later he was home.

For what felt like the millionth night in a row, Sawyer came into the empty house. That house he'd bought for her, the house that should've witnessed their laughs and their dreams.

But it was desperately silent and empty.

Sawyer took off his boots and threw his jacket on the stair handrail, but missed it. The jacket fell on a backpack sitting on the floor. It took a few seconds for that information to make its way to his brain. A backpack? It wasn't his…

He rushed upstairs, his heart beating like crazy. Was it her? Was she here?

He entered his bedroom. It took his eyes a moment to get accustomed to the darkness. And then he saw her, asleep. He couldn't move, could hardly breathe as he studied her. Her hair was different, but it was her, it really was.

His feet agreeing to move at last, he approached the bed. Emotion submerged him as he fell on his knees next to her.

"Kate," he whispered to himself. "My Freckles…" he added as he delicately stroked her cheek.

Her eyes fluttered open; a smile lit her face as she murmured his name.

"I love you, Kate," he said on an impulse, his feelings for her just too strong not to voice.

She sat up and they hugged so tightly they could hardly breathe.

"I'm pregnant," Kate whispered in his hear. Her anxiety was perceptible and he held her face in his big hands as he slightly pulled back.

"I know," he simply replied. She looked puzzled, so he explained, "I went to see Jack and he told me. It was a shock at first, yeah, but now I couldn't be happier. You changed my life for the better, Kate, and this child will only make it more wonderful."

Kate was speechless for a moment; then he felt the tension leave her body.

"I love you too," she murmured, her eyes locked into his.

"Lean on me, Kate," he told her, his voice laced with emotion. "Together we'll make it."

Kate's only response was a big smile before she pulled him up in bed.

THE END


End file.
